


The Human and Her Demon

by teamchaosprez



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, Corpses, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, Friendship, Hell, Implied Relationships, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Mental Health Issues, Murder, Nudity, Rough Sex, Self-Harm, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Soulmates, Teenage Parents, Temporary Character Death, Tentacle Sex, Vaginal Fingering, god that looks weird compared to the six previous tags, pearlmethyst is implied lmao, sorta past jaspis they had a one night stand, takes inspiration from Welcome to Hell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-05
Updated: 2016-08-13
Packaged: 2018-04-19 05:55:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 31
Words: 61,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4735022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teamchaosprez/pseuds/teamchaosprez
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As if being a single teen mom juggling her one year old daughter Malachite, surfing, and college wasn't hard enough, now Lapis Lazuli has to deal with a cute demon trying to get her to kill herself and an entire world of angels and demons coming in around her.</p><p>SEXUAL CONTENT IN CHAPTER 21, if you're a kiddie just skip it.</p><p>TUMBLR FOR QUESTIONS: teamchaosprez<br/>TRACKED TAG ON TUMBLR: hahd lapidot</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> This won the poll on Tumblr by a landslide. If you post about this fic please tag it as thelovelymisslazuli so I can see it.

All things considered, Lapis Lazuli had no idea what she'd been thinking the night she wound up getting pregnant. She very clearly recalled being entranced by a large stranger at a party and, despite being barely sixteen at the time, had wanted sex _so badly_ that she went against her better judgment and did the nasty with a burly female she'd never met. And, well, nine months later she wound up with Malachite, a thankfully quiet girl that already had some stripes of pale against her dark skin.

The last year had been mostly uneventful. With her mother being neglectful at her very best, Lapis was already practically an adult despite being three months from her eighteenth birthday; she'd had to learn very early in her life how to fend for herself. Having been stubborn enough to keep Malachite, she had adjusted to teenage motherhood surprisingly well, leaving her daughter with the family she'd babysat for while their son was young; she'd been planning to just carry the baby around with her, but Rose Quartz and her husband Greg Universe had insisted without relax that they babysit Malachite while the young mother was in school.

Lapis wasn't complaining, though. Mala seemed to enjoy the company of the couple and their son Steven, and it gave her an excuse to hang out with an eleven year old on occasion. She'd never had much of a social life, so she had plenty of time to spend on school and her kid. Life was busy and sometimes overwhelming, but mostly decent.

Around a week after Malachite's first birthday, however, as she walked to the daycare to pick up her child, Lapis began getting an uneasy feeling on her back. Like little pinpricks jotting into her skin – like somebody was following her. Blue eyes glanced back at the street behind her several times, but never spotted anything. A growing feeling of uneasiness grew in her gut as she continued on her way. She began to think she may have to call her mother to pick up Malachite as she tried to lose whatever was behind her, but the fact that she never saw anything led her to believe she was just being silly.

With a few polite words spoken to the nice old ladies that ran the daycare, she glanced around for her daughter before she noticed the baby toddling towards her. Lapis grinned and picked up the small child, nodding goodbye to the teachers before walking out with her daughter in her arms.

“How was your day today?” She asked, planting a little maternal kiss on her child's temple. This elicited a small giggle from the girl, who looked up at her mother with wide green eyes.

“Good!” Malachite responded gleefully. She didn't speak much, but when she did she could do so better than any child Lapis had ever met; it never really bothered her how intelligent her toddler was, though. She was willing to assume the baby was just gifted.

“That's good.” She shifted her daughter so that she was being carried on her hip. “I think I might actually try to cook tonight. It probably won't taste very good, though.”

Malachite seemed like she was about to say something, but was cut off by something she heard and Lapis didn't. The toddler frowned and glanced behind them before tugging on her mother's tank top strap. “Momma, there's somebody following us.”

Lapis froze and turned slightly so that she could see the road they'd already walked down. Sure enough, a figure in a trenchcoat was trailing them. Her chest tightened a little and she began walking faster, taking multiple turns down allies until she was sure that she must have lost their stalker.

“Are they still behind us?”

“No.”

The teen sighed of relief and gave her child a tense smile before beginning to walk back towards the house they shared with her mother. Not that Blue Diamond would even realize they'd taken much longer than promised, anyway.

Relief washed over Lapis when the little home was within sight, and she quickly sidestepped inside, setting Malachite down on the ground near some toys before heading into the kitchen.

***

The green-skinned demon let out a heavy sigh as she rubbed the bridge of her nose, careful not to jostle her tinted glasses too much. She pulled the trenchcoat a little tighter around her body, beginning to walk back towards the portal her boss had left for her.

Yellow Diamond didn't mention she had a _kid!_ She just said that this subject was a high school graduate and a former champion surfer!

Oh, well, a job was a job... she'd have to start this haunting tomorrow.

 


	2. Rocky Start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot really hates her job.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M ACTUALLY PRETTY HAPPY WITH THIS CHAPTER.

Lapis was fairly certain that somebody was watching her from the moment she exited her daughter's room after putting her to bed the next day. She shivered slightly as she walked down the hallway to her own room, laying on her bed and pulling her laptop out of the bag on her nightstand. She opened the electronic to her oceanography assignment, the keys making little clacking noises as she worked on her homework. Eerie feeling or not, she had to get this done before the end of the week.

A thud on her closet door was what distracted her. She blew her blue bangs out of her eyes, heart thudding in her chest as her gaze moved from the word document to the door across from her bed. Nothing happened for about thirty more seconds, so she supposed she must be imagining things and went right back to her homework.

A second sound was ignored, as was a third and a fourth. She reminded herself that she tended to hear things and simply chose to stick to her goal of finishing this paper early. Silence flooded into the room again, the soft clicking of the laptop's keys being the only thing in the air.

What got her attention, however, was a _thud_ and an actual yelp of pain. The teenager's heart froze in her chest as she stopped what she was doing – clicking the save button, of course – and shut her computer, dark blue eyes slowly wandering upward as she moved the laptop to by her side.

A green-skinned woman was laying on her floor, having apparently fallen straight through the door. She wore a tight black jumpsuit, and her short (strangely triangle-shaped) hair was pale blonde. She had a somewhat curvaceous built – although still rather skinny – and whatever her eye color was, it was disguised by the green tint of her glasses. Two small horns stuck out from either side of her head, as black as her jumpsuit. She wasn't bad-looking; in fact, if Lapis was a bit less startled and not in shock she would be somewhat attracted to her.

After a moment, the teenager managed to recover from her shock and grab the closest weapon – which was, unfortunately, her pen. Still, she quickly stood up and pointed the small object at the intruder, ready to fight and defend herself and her family. “Who are you, and what are you doing in my house?” She demanded, hoping to sound a bit braver than she felt.

The stranger seemed to be trying to make a smooth recovery just as much as she was, getting into a standing position almost _too_ fast to be real and trying to get into a 'superior' pose, floating off the ground slightly to look taller than she was – wait, she was **floating?**

“My name is Peridot, and you are Lapis Lazuli. I am a demon sent by my superiors to, for lack of a better term, haunt you.” She seemed to get more confident as she spoke, floating over to Lapis and getting up in the mortal's face. “The only way to get rid of me, unfortunately, is to die.”

The human stared at her new companion for several moments, getting over the initial shock. She wondered, briefly, if this demon posed any threat to her mother or her daughter (herself, she couldn't really care less). Well, she'd already been told how to get rid of her, so the creature would be more of a nuisance than anything until she proved herself to be harmful.

So Lapis just gave her a pleasant smile, putting her pen on the bed. “Well, Peridot, it's nice to meet you. Hope you get comfy, 'cause you're gonna be here a while.” She'd been suicidal in the past, this annoying-voiced demon wasn't going to get the best of her. “I have some homework to do, though, so maybe just chill in that chair over there for a few hours.”

The shock on Peridot's face was almost comical as the teenager plopped back to where she was sitting and retook her previous position with her computer on her lap, continuing to clack away at the keyboard as the green-skinned being just stared at her.

“No, no, no, it doesn't work like that. You can't just ignore me.” The demon protested, seating herself in front of the young woman with a desperate look on her face. “I'm a nuisance. I'm supposed to drive you to suicide because you _can't_ bring yourself to ignore me. You're supposed to pay attention to me!” She whined.

“Well, good to know demon school or whatever you have is just as bad at preparing you for an actual job as human school is for us.” Lapis responded, not looking up from her homework. “Unfortunately, your annoying me is going to have to wait until I've finished this oceanography assignment because it's due by Friday and I happen to have a busy life. Make yourself busy doing something else, I don't care.”

The demon started rambling again, and Lapis simply ignored her, pulling earbuds out of her pocket and plugging them into her computer. Piano music drowned out Peridot and also made it a bit easier for Lapis to focus on the task at hand. Two birds with one stone.

It took Peridot a while to realize she wasn't even being heard, and when she did she became frustrated, stomping her foot and continuing to rant, a little louder than she had been before. Nobody but Lapis could hear her, or at least no other adults, so she figured she was safe.

“I am a demon, damn it! I'm qualified and was assigned to you by Yellow Diamond herself! You have to listen to me and let you bother you, or I'll report this to **all** my superiors and they'll set up an eternal punishment even worse than they had planned originally! Come on, at least look at me! STOP IGNORING ME!”

“Excuse me?”

She froze at the small voice behind her, quickly turning and internally slapping herself. She'd forgotten about the kid, damn it! The little brat was staring up at her with wide, bright green eyes. Something about the toddler seemed familiar, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it. Perhaps it was just that she looked extremely similar to Lapis.

“What?” She hissed, glaring coldly at Malachite. Damn it all, she didn't want to have this job purely because the kid was going to make her feel guilty about it. She was going to be leaving a child motherless. A memory of her life as a human popped up in the back of her mind, but she forced it down as she faced the frightened toddler.

“Who are you, and why do you wanna punish my mama?”

Shit.

“Um. I'm just a bad dream, go back to sleep now.” Was she sweating? “Don't worry about it.”

Malachite squinted at her as if looking through her very soul. A shiver ran up Peridot's spine for some reason. Why was this child so unnerving? She was barely a year old, Diamonds!

“. . . Okay.” She replied in a tone that suggested she knew Peridot was lying before simply turning and walking back towards her bedroom. The interaction had left Malachite suspicious and Peridot distressed.

Her stress levels had never been this high, and that was saying something. It was only her first day on the job, this was supposed to be the easy part. She'd never done a haunting before, but she knew that most demons were done with their first assignments within a few days. This case felt like it was going to take forever.

She turned back to Lapis, gliding over to look at whatever she was working on. It seemed very complicated, with technical terms she had a foggy idea of and scientific names she couldn't decipher. Her gaze turned to the mortal, and a slight pang ran through her chest. What a shame. This kid was smart, and admittedly quite pretty. Excellent time management skills, too; she'd grown up quickly, and it showed. She might have a future in front of her, and here Peridot was, trying to convince her to punch her own ticket.

Well, it wasn't _her_ fault. Yellow Diamond had assigned her to this human, and there must have been a good reason besides the quota. She was just a drone of a demon, with no purpose other than that her superiors gave her. Okay, it was a bit of a sad existence, but if she went back on a command she really had no clue what to do with herself. She didn't have any free will.

She once had some form of doing things for herself, but that time was long gone and remembering it was like looking through mud. Humans lived complicated, yet simple lives; ones that didn't have to deal with the order and stress and eternal damnation that came with being a demon or an angel. A part of her missed that. It did nothing but harm to think on it now, though.

“You're staring at me.” The human suddenly stated, removing her earbuds to squint at the demon. “Is there a good reason behind it, or are you just a creep? Because if it's the latter, I'm not really surprised.”

A bright cerulean blush covered the demon's face – why was she blushing? - as she looked away and crossed her arms, pouting a bit. “I wasn't staring at you. But if I was, it was because I was daydreaming about helping punish you once you get down to hell. That should be fun, hearing you scream for mercy and cry.”

“Kinky.”

Peridot spluttered and jerked backwards. “Lewd!” She declared, everywhere over her face and shoulders burning a bright cerulean color that looked unnatural against the lime green of her skin. “I-I didn't mean it in _that_ way, you sinner. And you know it.” But the accusation _had_ drenched up some mental images that really didn't help her argument.

“Mmhmm. Of course you didn't.” Lapis rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to the screen as she spoke. “Unfortunately for you, I've sworn off all sex until marriage. And I doubt you want to marry a human, so you're not going to get any action.”

“If you think that's disappointing to me, you're sorely mistaken. And haven't you trailed off that promise, since you have a kid?”

“That's the reason I swore it. I don't want to end up with any more accidental pregnancies. Having a baby during high school was hard enough. This isn't your business, though. So kindly fuck off.” Aaaaand the earbuds were back in.

This was going to take _eons,_ wasn't it?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> spoiler alert; lapis is lying about the sex thing theyre gonna do the do after several chappies


	3. Even In the Shower?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot finds a whole new level of annoyance and invading personal space.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUESS WHAT'S BACK  
> BACK AGAIN  
> THIS FIC'S BACK  
> TELL A FRIEND

 When Lapis finally pressed typed in the last few words for her assignment, pressed the save button, and closed her laptop, she realized with a sigh of relief that the demon had left. Maybe it _had_ been just her imagination, her sleep deprived mind playing tricks on her. It **was** half after two, after all, and she was worn down to the bone. _At least tomorrow is my last school day for the week,_ she thought to herself as she slowly stood and put her computer in its case and made a mental list of things she needed to do before she just burrowed under her dark blue comforter and passed out. _Check on Malachite, shower, sleep._ Simple enough, wouldn't take more than twenty minutes.

She stretched, feeling some of her joints pop due to her staying in the same position for too long. Christ, college was _murdering_ her. Lapis slowly walked out of her bedroom – her daughter's was right down the hall, so it took her all of fifteen seconds to reach the baby's room. She walked in quietly, finding that Malachite was out of her covers and sprawled on the bed. She wasn't hurt, though, and was still conked out, so Lapis didn't think much of it and carefully straightened out her daughter, tucking her back in. A soft maternal kiss was planted against the girl's forehead, and Lapis returned to her room.

The teenager sighed heavily and grabbed her bathrobe and one of the many towels flung across the floor, lamenting internally over the state of her living condition. She would have to clean sooner or later; as her grandmother always told her, a cluttered room leads to a cluttered mind. Ha. That was probably bullshit, but whatever, it might work. In fact, she momentarily considered checking her grades just to make sure that her apparently cluttered mind wasn't affecting them.

She shook her head and walked across the hall to the bathroom, turning the knobs and feeling the water with her wrist until she confirmed that it was just as she liked it – hot enough to boil a vegetable. Her jeans and blouse were quickly stripped out of, underwear to follow, and Lapis stepped into the cascading liquid. A content sigh escaped her as the water warmed up her body, the teenager running her fingers through her dyed hair to ensure it would get as wet as she preferred it. If she wasn't so tired, she would have opted for taking a bath; but as it stood a shower was good enough and would get her clean more quickly, which would lead to her going to bed sooner.

Lapis was in the middle of shampooing her hair, eyes closed and fully relaxed, when she heard something next to her, almost like a cough. Dark blue optics shot open before she scolded herself and shut them again, and she quickly tilted her head so that the water would assault the soap around her hairline and make it so that she could look around. When she was satisfied, she returned her head to a normal position and opened her eyes, slowly pulling away the shower curtain.

There was nobody in the bathroom, much to her relief. In fact, the only thing out of the ordinary was that the door was wide open – she could have sworn she'd shut and locked it, but her short term memory was shoddy at best, especially when she was tired. The noise was probably just her imagination, quickly explained away. She shrugged and dismissed it, continuing her shower with a heart rate only slightly quicker and her mind focused more on the algebra lesson she'd suffered through earlier that day than on the odd experience she'd just had.

What she could not ignore, however, was when she looked up from washing her legs to find a certain green figure clinging to the tiled wall of the shower and staring at her.

Lapis let out a sound that could only be described as a mix between a squawk and a shriek, stepping backwards so fast that her foot slipped against the wet floor of the bath and she fell flat on her ass. Her first thought was to _cover up, dammit,_ and both of her arms were quickly utilized in hiding her nipples and nether region from view. “God fucking damn it, you couldn't have waited until _after_ I showered?” She hissed angrily, startled and pissed off.

“No,” the demon responded, hopping down from her position on the wall to kneel in front of her (apparently she has never heard of personal space before, Lapis thought as she bunched further in on herself). “I've forgotten what human anatomy looks like, honestly. It's quite intriguing.”

_Oh, my god_. “Look, that's on the list of things that I am not willing to discuss with you. **Especially** when I'm naked and soaked. I'm not some fucking figure in a medical textbook, so if you would avert your eyes and maybe leave me alone until I'm fully dressed again I would really appreciate it. Kindly fuck off.” If she had a free hand, she probably would pinch the bridge of her nose in a sign of annoyance and disapproval, but as it stood she settled for sending the creature a withering glare.

“Now that I know this bothers you, I think I'll do it more often, actually.” Peridot replied with a look that made Lapis want to punch her right in the cute little nose. And then smack herself for daring to think of any part of anything literally sent from hell as cute. Maybe both at the same time.

Well, at least the demon was doing this because she wanted to annoy Lapis and not because she was some pervert that wanted to get in the teen's pants. Deciding that there was nothing she could do about this, she just stood up using the edge of the tub for support and turned off the shower, grabbing the towel she had hung from the towel rack and wrapping it around herself. She wasn't willing to be in the nude in front of a demon for longer than she had to, and enough time had passed; she supposed she would just go to bed with wet hair and wake up early to deal with the tangled mess in the morning. The thought of the alarm on her phone making her get up any earlier than six made her want to cry.

Lapis walked back to her bedroom, ignoring the being following her (even the fact that she wasn't even touching the ground pissed her off, what a pretentious little bitch). She was mostly just cycling between being extremely annoyed and extremely pissed off at the moment, and eventually it just settled on both at the same time. She climbed into her closet and slammed the door shut, jamming a random shirt into the opening so that it would be harder to open, and pulled the closest nightgown on as she rubbed her hair aggressively to dry it.

When she exited the enclosed space, she noticed that the demon wasn't in the room, and her first thought was Malachite – Peridot hadn't proven herself to be a _danger_ yet, but she hadn't proven herself to be _safe_ either. So Lapis quickly dashed down to the toddler's room and peeked in, realizing with a sigh that the child was still asleep and unharmed. And yet, she knew that what she'd just seen hadn't been a hallucination – there was a legitimate demon stalking her, and said demon was more annoying and overbearing than scary.

Once she'd determined that nothing was in her baby's room, she shook her head a bit and returned to her own bedroom, crashing on the bed and just wrapping the comforter around her in a sort of cocoon instead of bothering to bury herself underneath the warmth. She grabbed her phone off her nightstand and made sure it was held against her stomach, the alarm on – she just felt more secure when the device was easily grabbed and used.

Somehow she doubted that she would get much sleep at all if she left it so that she could freely hear whatever sound made it clear to her – Peridot was intent on getting her to kill herself through annoyance, apparently, and unfortunately sleep deprivation always seemed to get her down. So she also grabbed her earbuds, plugging them into the device and turning on a movie soundtrack.

Lapis let the orchestra lull her to sleep, hoping she would wake up and find that all this bullshit was just a dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Questions? Something you wanna show me? Contact teamchaosprez on Tumblr!


	4. Thinking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot isn't sure how she feels about Lapis Lazuli, but whatever it is is making it really hard to do her job.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm impressed with myself for making this chappy long

Peridot stared at the girl in the bed until she was fast asleep, eyes shut and chest rising and falling in a calm manner. This was one tough cookie; more annoyed than frightened at all of her advances, seemingly prepared for anything she might decide to dish out. It was a bit frustrating, having her first subject be one step ahead at all times. She wondered if Lapis had ever been haunted before, and therefore knew exactly how a demon would behave. All were different, of course, but they all followed the same patterns to make a human's life a living hell. Perhaps she'd even seen one of the few horror movies that dished out reliable information, though that was a bit less likely. Either way, in Peridot's eyes Lapis Lazuli was an enigma, a beautiful mystery that she longed to figure out as soon as she possibly could. She'd thirsted for information for most of her existence, and this was no exception; she was especially fascinated because something about this human caught her attention and refused to let go. It was frustrating, it was addicting, and Peridot hated it... but at the same time, she knew that she would never be able to let this go as long as she lived.

She sat herself down next to the girl's bed, watching her peaceful face. Her sleep was dreamless, and if Peridot really wanted to she could probably give her a nightmare to disturb her rest and make her afraid to sleep the next night. But then again, if she accomplished her mission too quickly she would never be able to receive the answers she so craved... and some lingering part of her humanity didn't want to let this young life go to waste, didn't want to leave Lapis' daughter an orphan and didn't want to do this entire job. It was emotionally taxing, honestly, since she had been part of a hive mind for so long that she wasn't used to being able to think for herself and feel anything but numbness and make her own decisions. This was another reason she didn't want this to end so soon. Being the lowest tier of demon she was, essentially, owned by her boss, and was unable to do anything that was not commanded of her as long as she was in hell and on standby waiting for a subject to haunt. When she was present in the mortal realm, she was... well, she was Peridot. She was her own keeper, able to take advantage of free will, and even frustration was above numbness.

Though this wasn't all frustration. No, what she was experiencing was far more complex than that. She was impressed by Lapis' intelligence and refusal to let the demon get through her skin. She was intrigued by her looks as well; her skin seemed so soft, and though she tried not to dwell on having seen the human's naked body earlier it was damn near impossible. Yes, she found Lapis Lazuli attractive, almost embarrassingly so, both her personality and her physical looks being enchanting and bringing Peridot into a state of... infatuation, perhaps? She would not use a word quite so strong as 'love' yet – she wasn't even sure she believed in that bullshit. But she  _ did  _ feel a sort of magnetizing pull to this human, one that started in her chest and dragged her towards Lapis and refused to release her for anything in this known world. It was infuriating, it was... strange. She didn't like things she didn't know how to deal with, and her knowledge on this subject was nonexistent and likely to not be added to anytime soon. The only way she could accomplish this was to outright refuse to do her job and put off what she needed to do, and quite honestly that was a prospect that terrified her even more.

Peridot needed to finish this assignment, and she needed to do it as soon as humanly possible. She needed to reflect off what she saw this night, and she needed to take advantage of that. It would be best for all parties involved if she were to just rip this bandaid off quickly and get it over with. Unfortunately, her most immediate recollections were of Lapis being just plain apathetic – she had been upset for a little while when they first met and when she spied on her in the shower, but she'd been quick to get over it both times and quickly adjust. It was more upsetting than anything, and some part of the green demon wondered what had happened to Lapis to make her like this. She could always listen in on the thoughts of the human, of course, but that was an invasion of personal space that just felt  _ wrong  _ to her and she had sworn off ever doing. She'd have to settle for trying to remember-

Wait, the kid. Malachite. The toddler was the first thing Lapis had checked on when she realized Peridot was no longer in the room. Malachite was the  _ reason  _ Lapis went through her hard life without stopping. Malachite was the weak link in her mother's chain, and while it disgusted Peridot to think about it, she was going to have to take advantage of that in order to get this goddamn job done without much of a problem. She was  **able** to damage the child, of course, but she would have to possess Lapis or the third human in the house (Lapis' mother, she thought) to do so, and she would have much preferred to stay on her own rather than taking over the mind and body of another person.

Psychological damage it was, then. Peridot drifted around the room to see what she could find out about this teenager – and immediately hit jackpot when she opened up a drawer on her desk to find some journals and papers. Being a demon, she didn't even stop to think on how spying on Lapis' personal life could be even remotely wrong – she was trying to get the damn kid to off herself, after all, and wasn't this just breaking her down a little further? - as she began rifling through the drawer. Letter of acceptance into the local college that she so often slaved over, notifying the student that her grades throughout high school were impressive and she'd done good in working ahead so she could enter the oceanography program immediately while taking other classes. Her high school diploma, dated for the June of that year. Malachite's birth certificate, some letters she'd received from family and friends following the event and multiple papers containing social security numbers and the like. Wow, whoever found that little stash would be able to destroy the lives of this little family without a second thought – maybe she should suggest that Lapis hide them a little better... wait, no, that wasn't what she was focusing on right now. Certificates of achievement from past surfing competitions, the most recent of which had been the September of the two years ago – she must have had to stop when she found out she was pregnant, which was a bit of a shame as most of these stated first place. Report cards were also mixed in, and Peridot was minutely impressed by the sheer amount of A's the teen had gotten throughout her high school career. Somehow, Lapis didn't seem like the sort of person that would have taken secondary school very seriously – evidently this assumption had been incorrect.

Rifling through journals informed Peridot that Lapis had lost most of her friends while pregnant with and shortly after giving birth to her daughter, and as a result of this and intense hormones she had developed postpartum depression.  _ Poor kid _ . The journal entries stopped after a while and didn't pick back up – probably meaning she had adjusted completely and no longer needed to spill out her feelings with pen and paper. She was also very attached to the ocean and all its creatures, multiple entries being about tide pools she had found or her time swimming and surfing or some random fact about aquatic life or water she'd picked up from a textbook or the Internet. She was satisfied once she'd traced back to around two years previously, snapping the journal she was reading shut and placing everything back into place in the drawer. Hopefully Lapis didn't go through it very often, because the order was probably a tad bit wonky from her snooping – normally Peridot was a perfectionist, but it was getting to be the wee hours of the morning and she no longer had very much time to do what she needed to do.

The demon approached the human once more, feeling a bit guilty for even thinking about doing what she was about to. The poor girl had been through so much already, and it didn't seem very fair that she had to be pushed in such a way. She hoped that Lapis didn't give in all that quickly, deciding that she would have to have a talk with her boss and see if she could bend the rules a bit and  _ not  _ drive her to suicide – oh, but that was such a terrifying thought. Yellow Diamond liked getting her way, rarely made exceptions, and was exceptionally cruel and unusual when it came to eternal punishment –  _ especially  _ for demons like herself that had gotten attached to their humans and refused to let them end their own lives. There  **was** a safe way out of demonhood, of course, where she would be able to join the mortal realm and never have to do anything of this sort again – but she was  **loyal** to her supervisor, both afraid of her and respecting her more than anything else. She didn't want to let Yellow Diamond down, regardless of whether she thought it was right to put Lapis in such a dark place – both because she couldn't bear the look of disappointment she would get and because she was afraid of punishment. She didn't remember what she'd done as a human to land herself in hell, but whatever it was must have been bad for her to get her hands on a demonic position so quickly.

No, it didn't matter what Lapis Lazuli had been through. It didn't matter how soft her skin looked or how smart she was or how bright a future she'd once had in front of her. It didn't matter in the least that Peridot was beginning to respect her and grow attached to her, and it didn't matter that she had a child to raise and take care of. What mattered was that Peridot had been given an order, and refusing or failing to carry out that order would result in serious repercussions that would more than likely destroy her for all she was worth.

So the demon formulated a nightmare in her head that she was sure would damage her subject. She put together everything important to Lapis and placed it in fictional jeopardy because of each other and because of her, thoroughly believing that she was creating the worst dream the human would ever have and bringing her worst fears to light. She felt another pang of guilt in her chest as she gave the nightmare a form in her hand, it coming off with a green light that enveloped the peacefully resting human and the demon standing before her with an eerie glow.

Trying not to think too much on it, she carefully pressed the dream against the girl's forehead and watched as her face scrunched up, her lips curling slightly before settling into a troubled frown, her eyebrows furrowing. Another pang of guilt hit her chest where her heart should be and deadly sharp canines dug into her lower lip. Lapis Lazuli didn't deserve this, didn't deserve anything that was happening to her or most anything that had happened to her.

Peridot sighed heavily, turned, and began to walk away – she disappeared as she left, leaving the girl to her nightmare and the damage that would ensue until morning.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment if you're enjoying this!


	5. All the Girl Wants is Some Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis has a nightmare and falls out of bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone is interested in a timeline for the events up to chapter 3: http://teamchaosprez.tumblr.com/post/133242934507/okay-heres-a-very-simple-timeline-for-hahd-for-up

Lapis Lazuli's overtired mind was slightly jarred by the suddenness of the dream; she'd been much too exhausted for her imagination to possibly whip something up. It seemed that some part of her mental state was trying to fight against the foreign invasion, but lost spectacularly as an image appeared clear as day in the teenager's mind's eye. She was standing in the ocean, calm, at peace – the water reached up to the bottom of her chest, and her eyes were closed with how at ease she was. It seemed that there was nothing wrong in that moment, and the sleeping girl relaxed, soft snores crossing through her outer body as her inner self became calmer.

However, the blissful silence was quickly broken by an achingly familiar wail. She had never heard that voice scream in such a way, but as mothers do she recognized it as her beloved daughter almost immediately – and something was _wrong_ , so horribly wrong, for the toddler to call out like that. Lapis quickly opened her eyes and her head whipped around in multiple directions so quickly that any spectator would fear her neck breaking. She quickly identified where the sound was coming from and splashed forcefully through the water – why was she so _sluggish_ , she was never sluggish in the ocean – until she could see her child struggling to keep her head above the surface.

Externally, her face crumbled into a distressed look as the former surfer's dream self quickly dove into the water and tried, tried to swim closer to her baby – no,  _no_ , the waves kept pushing her back, she  _had_ to get there! Swallowing down panic, she forced her burning limbs to continue moving forward until she finally reached where she could reach out and grab the chubby arm. Something yanked Malachite out of her grip almost as soon as she had her, and this process repeated itself no matter how many times the young mother tried. It wasn't fair,  _it wasn't fair!_ The ocean was her  **home** , it couldn't be the thing to take the one person keeping her fighting away.

Her heart rate had picked up so dramatically that Lapis could wake at any moment, not that she noticed the way the world was fuzzing around the edges in her desperate fight to save her offspring. Finally, she managed to get a somewhat stable hold on Malachite, and it almost seemed that they were both going to make it. Clutching the spluttering and crying and gasping toddler to her chest, Lapis began to swim back to shore – only for her baby to be ripped right out of her arms. She suddenly became paralyzed by something unknown, forced to stay put and watch as Malachite was dragged farther and farther into the deep sea, desperately reaching for her mother...

The teen awoke with a loud cry and covered in a cold sweat, quickly trying to rise – she forgot, however, that she was thoroughly cocooned in her comforter and went crashing to the ground. Lapis landed on her arm with all her weight with a rough and flat  **thud** , but she barely noticed the pain as she madly struggled against the safe warmth ensnaring her, ripping the earbuds from her ears in the process. Once she was finally free and able to move, she realized that she was, in fact, still in her bedroom, and it was pitch black outside. It was just a dream.  _ It was just a dream _ ... but she could still feel the rough ocean against her body, could still hear her child crying out for her. She pulled out her phone to check the time –  _ oh, fuck, the fall cracked the screen – _ and the beautiful glow before her told her that it was just after four in the morning. She hadn't even been asleep for an hour and a half.

Lapis rubbed her eyes tiredly with a heavy sigh, the panic starting to leave a calm feeling in her chest. Even so... there was a nagging anxiety in the back of her head that refused to pass that commanded she check on Malachite and make sure there was no thread of truth in the nightmare. She was perfectly aware that it was just a dream, but she'd had flashbacks in her sleep before, and her foggy sleep-deprived mind couldn't tell what was the truth and what was just a dream. She stood slowly, putting her damaged phone on her nightstand and sleepily walking out of her bedroom and down the hall as quietly and quickly as she possibly could. Every inch of her being wanted to just go back to bed.

She opened the door to the toddler's room almost silently and noticed with a sigh of relief that Malachite was still asleep and curled up, safe and sound. Lapis quietly tiptoed over to her daughter, sitting next to the beginner bed and watching the girl snore. A slender hand reached over to gently brush the child's bangs out of her eyes, and a tug in her chest reminded Lapis that this kid was  _ hers.  _ Every so often she forgot, despite having carried Malachite for eight months and being in labor for a day to bring this beautiful little human into the world – it just seemed  _ unreal  _ that someone like her could cause something so perfect and wonderful. It took nearly all of her self control to  _ not  _ scoop the little girl up in her arms and cuddle her until she was sent off with a 'Mommy, I'm trying to sleep.' She settled instead for a soft maternal kiss on the cheek before she stood and exited.

The walk back to her room was a slow one, slowed down by how goddamn tired she was. Lapis very nearly cried when she realized that she would have to get up and get ready for school in less than two hours – maybe she would take a day off. That thought was quickly expelled; the last time she'd stayed home, she failed an algebra assignment because she had no clue how to do it. She would be attending class the next day, no matter how tired she was. At least it was almost the weekend.

A quick check around her room quenched the fear that Peridot was loitering around to watch her sleep – she was alone, she could feel it and see it. Perhaps she didn't actually need to listen to music as she slept this time. Lapis opted to keep her door open just in case, made sure her alarm was still on, and remembered with a groan that her covers were sprawled across the room as a result of her oh so gracefully toppling out of bed. She sighed heavily, gathering up the blankets and making her bed up nice and neatly (just so she could mess it up again in a few minutes, but whatever). As she worked, she lamented the cracks in her phone screen – they wouldn't make it unusable, of course, but they were definitely going to be a nuisance and maybe cut her fingers. Fuck.

Lapis burrowed underneath the blankets, too exhausted and desperate for sleep to care that her phone was on her nightstand. She curled up into a tight little ball and closed her eyes, hugging herself tightly in her sleep as she drifted off. The rest of the night would be dreamless and peaceful... perhaps it was a good thing, then, that she didn't know how much of a hurricane of events was coming for her in the next twenty four hours.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, please make sure to let me know you're enjoying this by a comment or something! I feed off of your positive feedback.
> 
> Questions? Something you wanna show me?  
> Contact teamchaosprez on Tumblr or tag something as "hahd lapidot"!!


	6. Yellow Diamond

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot whines to her boss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry about the wait. I got sick with strep throat and some gnarly stomach bug and had to go to school anyway so I had like no energy to write the entire time, and then just as I was getting out of it Thanksgiving happened so I had no privacy to get any writing done. It's all done now, though, so I'm going to try and update all of my fics as much as humanly possible this weekend.

Peridot stepped through the portal she had just opened, landing on her feet near where she usually bided her time. She glanced around the small space, quickly stepping out and heading down the hall. The space was much, much hotter than Lapis’ room - being hell, though, this was of course to be expected. The demon figured she would get sick jumping between the two temperatures with or without a physical body, and might be better off just staying up in the mortal realm for the time being. Which, also, could get her even more attached to the human she was supposed to haunt - this job was difficult, and part of her wondered whether or not it was really necessary.

When she reached the office of Yellow Diamond, however, she hesitated - though she would frequently argue otherwise, she was afraid of her boss. Her superior was just a step below the red guy that ran the place, and - while not nearly so harsh as him - tended to react quickly and with a lot of force if you weren’t one of her favorites. Luckily, Peridot had been loyal and hardworking from the moment she first scored her job, and that earned her quite a few brownie points… but any hesitation to do this assignment she may have voiced would probably toss her down a little bit. The thought made her gulp, and it took all of her courage just to reach out and knock on the door.

“Come in,” spoke the familiar voice on the other side. For a moment, Peridot considered just trying to pass this off as something else - maybe lie about her coworker Jasper bothering her again. Wait, no, Jasper would kick her sorry ass if she tried that again. A heavy sigh was expelled before she slowly opened the door and entered the room, hands folded in front of her. Would trying to look meek help or hurt her at this point? Why was this so difficult? It was frustrating.

Yellow eyes looked up from the papers she was concentrated on, and the intimidatingly beautiful Yellow Diamond gave her a small smile, though Peridot could sense that she was trying to hide impatience. She would have to make this quick if she wanted to leave that office with her soul intact. Hell, even if she didn’t she might face some sort of punishment just for thinking that haunting Lapis was anything but the right thing to do. The lesser demon twiddled her thumbs slightly as she floated forward and stood in front of the desk. Okay, she could do this.

“Ma’am, I’m aware that we have a quota to fill.” Peridot began, taking a deep breath before she continued speaking. “But is it necessary for the Lazuli to be one? I mean, it’d be like a chain reaction because she has her daughter, and the kid probably won’t last very long without her. And she has a pretty good future ahead of her, and she’ll die eventually anyway and still has plenty of time to screw up and land herself in hell.” Also had time to be good, but that wasn’t a point she wanted to bring up.

“Are you questioning my decisions, Peridot? Because I could send Jasper on the job if you can’t do it.” The chill in Yellow Diamond’s voice made a shiver run up the demon’s spine. Yeah, it was definitely time to just bail - it wasn’t worth it. She would be punished, and Lapis probably wouldn’t last too long with the rough and tumble warrior of a demon that was Jasper. Why was she concerned about that…? Ugh, it didn’t matter, she would sort through all these complicated emotions and shit later.

“No, ma’am. Of course not. I’ll continue the haunting, no hesitation.” Perhaps she was speaking a bit quickly out of nervousness, but she didn’t notice. Any nerve she might have had walking into this had been completely demolished and left timidness in its wake.

“I hope you aren’t getting attached to this human, Peridot. Many worthy demons have been lost over the centuries because they became fond of their assignments and refused to do their jobs.” Yellow Diamond glanced back down at her paper, seemingly more interested in her work than she was in the being in front of her. “You have potential. It would be a shame to have to send you into the pit.”

Peridot gulped and nodded, wringing her hands behind her back. “No, ma’am. It was just a stupid thought, honestly. She’s just like any other human. Might have been something left over from before this.” Oh my Satan stop talking. “Won’t happen again. I’m sorry for wasting your time. May I please be excused?” She just wanted to get out of there.

The response she received was a wave of her superior’s hand, and Peridot shakily left the office. As soon as she was free of the suffocating atmosphere of the room, she was off like a shot down the hall and back to her own quarters. The door was shut behind her as soon as she entered the room, and she sank to the ground with a heavy sigh. Why her? Why did she have to be the one assigned to this? She was already getting attached despite it only having been a couple of days and despite the lies she had spat out to her boss in order to save her own skin, and pain would only be caused to both herself and Lapis by trying to do this. But at least she was better than Jasper - the brute had a habit of causing more destruction to lives and spirits whenever she was sent to the mortal realm, and Peridot just wanted to get her goddamn job done. Most of the time, anyway.

She buried her face in her hands, letting out a low groan. This is not all going according to keikaku. … Was that a reference to something human? She tended to do that, more often when exposed to the mortal realm than when she was just in hell. It didn’t really matter, though. Nothing really mattered.

Other than how she had to get this haunting done as soon as humanly possible. She had to make the damn girl punch her own ticket already. Rip the band-aid off quickly. That was the only way to go about this. It had to be.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TUMBLR FOR QUESTIONS: teamchaosprez  
> TRACKED TAG: hahd lapidot


	7. Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot bothers Lapis while she gets ready for the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHEW this fic is fun to write.

_I can’t help it if I make a scene, stepping out of my hot pink limousine…_

Lapis groaned and pulled her pillow over her head, trying to ignore the catchy song leaking from her phone. After such a fitful night with so few hours of sleep, she really did not want to get out of bed; she didn’t even want to move to slide the screen and shut the alarm off. It was just too early for this bullshit, and she desperately wanted to catch a few more z’s before she had to haul ass out of bed and get Malachite and herself ready for the day. Why did she pick classes at eight o’clock in the morning again? In all honesty, she didn’t know what she’d been thinking when she registered.

_I’m turning heads and I’m stopping traffic, when I pose they scream and--_

The teenager finally forced herself to reach over and grab hold of her phone, sliding the designated part of the screen in order to make it shut up. She hissed a bit in pain when the cracked glass sliced her thumb, that waking her up the rest of the way - shit, what had happened last night? … Oh, yeah, she had a nightmare and landed on the damn thing. Lapis tilted her head back so that it thumped pathetically against the pillow and whimpered, scolding herself internally for losing her wits and breaking one of her most important possessions. Whatever, at least the display wasn’t screwed over.

She’d nearly forgotten the incident with the demon by then, and was passing it off what little she could recall as her sleep deprived brain playing tricks on her. If it was just a hallucination and a figment of her imagination, she really wouldn’t be surprised; it wasn’t like she’d never had to deal with them before, and she’d been doing well with her mental health long enough that a relapse was long overdue. She avoided thinking on that for the moment, though, and turned so that her feet were against the floor and she could stand. She stretched and yawned before stumbling her way out of her bedroom.

Lapis always got herself ready before she woke up Malachite. The first time she had to go somewhere and leave her daughter behind with a sitter, she had awoken the baby before she got ready, and preparing both herself and her child for the day had proven to be an impossible feat; she’d been a mess walking into her therapist’s office with her faded blue hair disheveled, teeth unbrushed, and face free of makeup. The entire day had just been set up to be a disaster.

She sleepily opened the door to the bathroom and flinched a bit as she faced her reflection. She scolded herself for going to bed with damp hair the last night; short blue strands stuck up in every direction, and that would take forever to get to settle down. Half-awake and thinking of efficiency before comfort, she turned on the faucet of the sink and stuck her head into the claustrophobic space under the running water, letting her hair become soaked. Lapis nearly fell back asleep, the warm water against her scalp being relaxing and her mind not really considering the dangers of drowning. Not that she entirely minded the concept; maybe it would be a bit of a relief…

Wow, it really was a rough morning. She halted that thought just as it started, straightening up and bumping her head against the faucet with a faint squeal of pain. The teenager cussed herself out as she pulled a comb from the drawer of the counter and ran it through her short tresses, wrestling with the tangles and forcing the disaster that was her bedhead to become tame. When she was satisfied with how it looked, she considered straightening it to avoid frizz and her curls from coming out; almost immediately she decided that she really didn’t feel like it and reached instead for her hairdryer. She was quick in using the hot air expelled by the machine to dry out her sopping hair; a quick glance at her phone screen told her it was just past six fifteen in the morning. That gave her about an hour and a half before she had to drop Malachite off next door and start walking to school. No problem, all she had to do was brush her teeth and get dressed in whatever she could grab anyway.

Lapis prepared her toothbrush quite swiftly and began to get to work on cleaning her teeth, focusing on the surface of the counter as though it was the most interesting thing in the world. She let her thoughts drift elsewhere, and was so distracted that she didn’t notice something drifting up to behind her. Claws grabbed onto her shoulder, and she jumped so harshly that she jammed the bristled end of her toothbrush down her throat and ended up choking on the object. Gagging, she tore the brush out of her throat with a flinch, spat out whatever frothy toothpaste was in her mouth, and whirled around quickly, heart pounding at about three hundred miles per hour.

A certain green-skinned immortal stood with her hands behind her back, grinning devilishly at Lapis. “Good morning. Excellent way to start the day. Near-death experiences are always fun.” Peridot seemed to ignore the withering glare the human shot her way. “What? You thought I was done after last night? My dear, sweet, naive Lazuli, I’m just getting started.”

“I hope you realize how inappropriate that sounded.” Lapis responded hoarsely, wincing at her sore throat. That would be bothering her for the rest of the day. It was worth it, though, for the dark shade of green that Peridot’s face turned. “What? I’d think you would be a bit more sophisticated. Demons aren’t supposed to get humans flustered. Isn’t it the other way around?”

“Shut up! And get your mind out of the gutter!” Chagrin was apparently getting Peridot frustrated, moving her arms to cross them over her chest. “I already told you, the only way to get rid of me is to die. And no! I am not flustered! Just frustrated, you clod!” The lie was obvious, and Lapis caught on in no time; though she decided against making any moves to provoke the demon further. She still had to be cautious, as this was literally an employee of Satan and she was unsure of whether it was safe.

“Psh. Yeah, okay, whatever you say, Dots.” The glare she received made her shudder, though she did her best to hide it. “I’m kind of busy right now, though. Do you think we could maybe do this later? When I’m not crunched for time?” She turned back to the sink as she spoke, rinsing the paste off the bristles. “Don’t get me wrong, I loooooooove getting haunted and pestered and shit like that, but I don’t have time for this right now.”

“Unfortunately for you, Lazuli, I’m supposed to be around until you punch your own ticket. If you want me to go away, that’s what you’re gonna have to do.” Peridot got up in her face in order to give the human a shit-eating grin, and of course Lapis reacted the first way she thought to - she jabbed the toothbrush she was still holding into the nuisance’s hair. This earned an irritated squeal as Peridot yanked the brush out of her wild locks, and the human used this as the window for her escape.

Lapis sprinted to her bedroom and quickly stripped out of her nightgown and struggled to put on a pair of panties and a bra. Just as she was clasping on the upper undergarment while taking her signature blue top and skirt from the closet, she felt someone breathing down her shoulder and quickly turned to smack the demon she knew was present with the hanger. No reaction seemed to be given, and she let out an annoyed groan as she settled for just tying on the top.

“So, what did I even do to deserve this?” She asked disinterestedly as she worked the ribbon at the back of her neck. She was genuinely curious, to be honest; as far back as she could think, the worst thing she did that wasn’t during a breakdown and intentionally was getting pregnant at sixteen.

The green-skinned demon shrugged as she dragged a nail up Lapis’ side, taking advantage of the girl’s partial nudity and her hands being occupied. This earned a shiver; the teenager seriously doubted it meant what she thought it did, but she wasn’t exactly comfortable with her boundaries being toyed with either. “Beats me,” came the response, “but it must’ve been something seriously bad to earn damnation. From what I’m aware of, you’re pretty morally grey, not leaning particularly towards going to heaven or hell, and my boss wants me to push you the little bit to shove you towards hell. Suicide is a sin, after all, and one that’s pretty hard to excuse.”

“You seem pretty educated on this subject.” Lapis replied flatly as she finally managed to complete the bow. Keeping a conversation with the demon might make it easier to get what she needed done in order to go to school. She pulled on the long skirt, ensuring it was comfortably fitting and covering what it needed to.

“Well, driving humans to suicide is my job.” Peridot stated matter of factly. “It would be rather stupid for me to be sent out on an assignment without being aware of why I’m doing it. Demons don’t get money, but we don’t really have much of anything better to do besides our careers. Unless you have frequent access to the mortal realm, which is earned through hard work and lots of referrals to the big red guy himself. I’m not there yet, but I’m getting close.” The immortal seemed rather proud of her job and how much she knew about it, which was almost cute if she wasn’t an annoying green bean sent to drive Lapis nuts until she couldn’t take it anymore. That just made it another thing to be irritated by.

She didn’t reply, simply walking back to the bathroom and applying some mascara. That was all the makeup she really needed today, in all honesty, and she couldn’t even describe how relieved she was that Peridot had not startled her into poking her eye out. She could tell that the demon was still behind her as she walked down to her daughter’s room and kneeled beside the bed, gently shaking the girl. “Mala, it’s time to wake up. You’ve gotta go to Rose and Greg’s today, doesn’t that sound fun?”

Malachite groaned and batted her mother away. Stubborn and not a morning person - she’d gotten that from Lapis. In fact, she’d gotten most of her features from Lapis, save for her nose and vitiligo. However, she seemed to opt for obeying her mother rather quickly, sitting up and rubbing her eyes before turning her face a little to look sleepily at the teen mother. “Mama, dere’s somethin’ behind you…” She yawned.

Lapis blinked, startled. Malachite could see Peridot? Well, children were apparently more susceptible to things involving the paranormal, so she really shouldn’t have been surprised. She gave her toddler a small grin. “I know, little water witch. That’s Peri. She’s just around to make sure noooothing bad happens to us!” She lied through her teeth, mostly to keep the tiny child from becoming frightened. The last thing she wanted was for her to start being afraid to sleep. She could tell without even turning around that the demon was irritated by this little fib, but no arguments were voiced.

“Oh. Okay.” Malachite responded before groggily reaching for her mother. The toddler was lifted up and carried over to her dresser, allowing her mother to dress her in a green tank top and camo shorts without much of a fight. The whole time she was getting her child ready, though, Lapis worried. Much of her thought process found itself towards the green immortal behind her. Peridot apparently held no ill will towards Malachite and did not intend to hurt her; but that didn’t mean that the circumstances couldn’t change and the child would never find herself in the crossfire. Ordinarily, Lapis would primarily be concerned with her own safety, but she cared very deeply for her little girl and, while motherhood could feel a bit like a prison at times, she would do anything to keep her daughter from getting hurt.

Even if, in the end, it meant she had to give in to the demon’s mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoying this? Let me know! Leave a comment or contact teamchaosprez on Tumblr! I track the tag "hahd lapidot"! I don't respond to comments unless they're a question or in a Tumblr ask, because I prefer to keep the section clean, but I definitely read them all and positive feedback gives me inspiration to write.


	8. Steven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis drops Malachite off at the Quartz-Universe home and has a little talk with Steven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GOD I had so little inspiration for this chapter, I'm sorry if it's bad.

By the time Lapis had gotten Malachite ready (and, god, did she wish there was some way to tame that disaster that was her daughter’s hair), she was already somehow mentally exhausted. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that she’d had someone behind her the whole time, tugging her hair and snapping her bra strap. Oh, who was she kidding, that was the entire reason she was completely beat at half past seven in the morning, and part of the reason she’d decided to leave fifteen minutes early. Maybe Peridot was confined to the house, and it wasn’t like spending an extra quarter of an hour talking to Rose and Steven while they carried out their own morning routine was an awful concept.

Lapis ushered Malachite out the door and onto the porch, lifting the child and resting her on her hip as she began to walk over to the house next to theirs. A glance behind her convinced her that nobody was there; she gave a sigh of relief, assuming Peridot had gone elsewhere. She turned her attention to her baby, deciding to try and carry out a conversation with the toddler; she was getting good at making full sentences, and the teenager wanted to encourage that as much as she could and as often as she could. She was still a little startled by the girl’s advanced intelligence, in fact, and might have found it worrying if it weren’t a positive trait.  “Are you looking forward to having a fun day today?”

Malachite nodded, watching her mother with wide and bright green eyes. “‘n you’ll be home all weekend, right?” Oh, that hopeful look was enough to convince Lapis right then and there to cancel any plans she might have had written down. Well, except one.

“Almost, kiddo. I have to be gone for a couple hours on Saturday, but other than that, I’m all yours all weekend.”

“Why?”

Ah, yes, the dreaded one-year-old question. “I’m going surfing, and it’s been a long time so I need extra practice.” She was so excited to get back in the water; she’d been looking forward to this since mid-winter. After a year and a half away, there was nothing that could hold her back any longer. Not even her only daughter. A pang of anxiety and insecurity ran through her after thinking that - did putting surfing first make her a bad mother? Even after putting her daughter above anything and everything since she found out that the child existed, it was a very real fear that Lapis had considering the neglect she herself had faced throughout the better part of her life. But she couldn’t lose surfing forever. It wouldn’t be healthy for herself to put Malachite over the last lingering amount of her identity that she still had. … Right?

Apparently, her silence had become worrying to aforementioned child, who softly patted her face. “Mama, I said okay.” Malachite spoke in a tone that was almost humorously serious for a child her age, and Lapis had to hold back a chuckle as she turned to walk down the path to the Quartz-Universe home. The house was the same size as the one she, her daughter, and her mother lived in, of course, but it had a slightly warmer and homier feel to it that Lapis was envious of.

“Yes, Mala, I know. I’m sorry I didn’t reply.” She shifted and made sure that she was fine with holding her daughter up with one arm before reaching for the wooden door and giving three strong raps. “I’m just thinking, that’s all.” A soft noise of understanding was the only reply she got, and she waited impatiently for either Rose or Steven to open the door. Lapis had been about to reach and knock again when she heard familiar bounding footsteps approaching from, presumably, upstairs.

The door swung open, and she was greeted by a grin from a certain little boy that looked very happy to see the two of them. “Hey, Lapis! Hey, Malachite!” Steven Quartz-Universe greeted enthusiastically, stepping into the house so that the two of them could walk in. The teenager did exactly that, and the child quickly resumed with his rambling. “Mom’s taking a shower right now. I don’t have any school today, so I’m gonna stick around and help out with Mala!” He seemed pretty excited about that; he was already working his way up to being about as good with those younger than him as his mother was. Malachite liked him just fine, so Lapis wasn’t really worried about it.

“Sounds great, but you better take good care of her!” The young mother replied in a fake stern tone of voice, bending over to set her child down on the ground. “Since it’s Friday, maybe I’ll stick around for a little while after school too. I won’t have to get to my homework right away, so that leaves me some free time.” And if being out of the house was the key to avoiding Peridot, she was going to spend as much time away as she possibly could. Looks like her social life was going to be revived.

“I will!” Steven replied in almost a laugh, and his dark eyes lit up when Lapis mentioned hanging out. It had been so long since they spent more than ten or fifteen minutes together! Since Malachite had been born, at least. “Oh man, that sounds like so much fun! Maybe we could write a song together!” That had been one of their favorite things to do since he was little, and he’d been eagerly awaiting the day when they could go back to it.

“Definitely! I can’t wait.” She grinned at him before pulling out her phone in order to check the time. She had about ten minutes before she had to start walking to school, maybe twelve if she felt like jogging - which she really didn’t. Her professor was generally pretty chill about letting people in late, but Lapis prefered to be on time due to getting multiple detentions throughout high school. “How’s school going this year? You’re in, what, kindergarten now?” She knew that he wasn’t of course, but she still liked messing with him. He was still childish enough that getting his age or his grade level wrong was a source of entertainment for him. She genuinely hoped he never grew out of that, too.

Of course, this got a laugh out of Steven. “Nooo, I’m in fifth grade now! You should know that, you were babysitting me while I was in kindergarten! But school’s going fine. Stuff’s getting harder, but it’s nothing I can’t handle!” He spoke in a goodnatured fashion, gently taking hold of Lapis’ hand to pull her a bit further into the house. A pang of worry shot through her, and she quickly glanced back to make sure that Malachite had clumsily gotten to her feet and started toddling after rather than being left where she could be easily trampled. Lapis gave a sigh of relief when this was confirmed; maybe she worried too easily sometimes and should chill out.

“That’s good… Steven, I don’t have a whole lot of time. Less than ten minutes.” She warned as aforementioned little boy yanked her over to the kitchen table and motioned for her to sit down. It wasn’t that she didn’t appreciate that he’d missed being able to talk to her; quite the contrary, really, as she’d missed him, too. She so rarely had any free time that they never really got to hang out; and considering this little boy was, perhaps sadly, her only friend it had taken a bit of a toll on her. One good thing about being a busy person; she didn’t really have time to realize how much she missed it until faced with it. She did as he requested, hanging her backpack against the back of the chair.

“I know!” Replied the child as he climbed up onto the counter, thusly giving Lapis a miniature heart attack. “I just wanted to make sure you have something to eat. Dad says college is really stressful, which was why he decided to drop out and jump right into music. And Mom always says that food helps out with stress and stuff!” He still had to stand on his tip-toes to reach whatever he was aiming for, and Lapis couldn’t help but think of how righteously pissed off Rose would be if she walked into this room right now. Luckily for the both of them, she didn’t, though the teenager was probably ruining her eyes by rapidly glancing back and forth between her own child and Steven.

The boy hopped down once he’d achieved his goal and happily skipped over to her, holding out a chocolate muffin. Lapis smiled softly and took it, the plastic wrap crinkling in her hands as she did so; being honest, she had forgotten to eat despite having given Malachite a bowl of Cheerios. She seemed to do that a lot lately, and couldn’t even remember if she’d eaten dinner the previous night. Steven had carried her through the worst of her mental health problems a couple of years previously without meaning to, and now he was reminding her to do important things like eat without meaning to. This little kid really was, in a way, her guardian angel. She almost laughed at the irony that drawing that comparison contained; she was being stalked by a demon, so perhaps it wasn’t the best metaphor.

“Thanks, bud.” She responded as she broke open the wrapping and peeled back part of the paper container holding the baked good captive and taking a rather generous bite. The chocolate was bliss to her tastebuds, but it sat a little roughly on her stomach; it had definitely been awhile since she last ate. As she chewed, she pressed the home button on her phone to make sure that she was still within her timeframe, and within moments she had shifted her focus to Malachite, who had busied herself with studying a pair of shoes by the door rather intensely. Lapis couldn’t help but snort a bit; she really did like children and how easily entertained they were. It made taking care of them a little easier, and she would be eternally grateful for her child’s fixation with just about everything.

“Anytime!” Steven replied happily, pulling himself up on a chair across from her. “How’s school going for you this year? Are you getting any smarter with college? Oh, have you gotten your degree yet?” She couldn’t help but laugh a little at his eagerness when he asked. Something told her that he was genuinely interested in how things were going, and despite how utterly boring they seemed from her end, she really didn’t blame him. The main question was whether to be honest with him or give him the romanticized version that praised her decision to go to college. She opted for the latter.

“It’s going good, actually. There’s a lot of homework to do, but I’m learning a lot of interesting stuff. And no, I haven’t gotten my degree yet. Those things take a long time to earn.” She shrugged, choosing to leave out the part about losing sleep in order to balance her massive workload and giving Malachite a decent childhood with a present mother. And the whole demon thing that was already making her life a hell of a lot harder despite only having been an issue for about five hours so far.

“Cool!” Steven proclaimed, and Lapis could practically see stars shining in his eyes as the word was used. It was enough to make her smile, though another glance at her phone was enough to make panic settle in. Shit, she was a minute late.

“Look, I better get going.” She stated rather abruptly, shoving her phone into her pocket and pulling her bag on her back. “I’ll see you after school, alright? I’ll come over right after, and you and Malachite and I can all hang out and stuff.”

“Aw. Okay.” Steven seemed to be trying not to look dejected, and she legitimately had to put effort into not feeling bad for leaving as she ruffled his hair, gave Malachite a little kiss on the forehead, turned with a wave goodbye, and rushed out the door.


	9. Class Disrupted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot bothers Lapis during class.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this is short, I've been so busy with Christmas stuff lately.

Peridot did not understand a single thing that the college professor was saying, and so she had tuned it out several minutes ago. Honestly, even though she was immortal and possessed intelligence past what any human would ever be capable of understanding, let alone reaching… she never was able to wrap her mind around biology. Technology and computers were more her style. The tight-lipped teacher was going on a rant about what physical properties a humanoid creature would have to possess in order to live in the uncharted areas of the ocean courtesy of one of the bored students near the back asking a question about mermaids, and watching Lapis Lazuli diligently take notes and even understand the bullshit being talked about was enough to make Peridot respect her even more. Maybe humans were more intelligent than she had been giving them credit for. Or maybe the blue-haired teenager was just a special case. Okay, if that was it, she was even more frustrated. The demon liked beings that possessed smarts rivalling her own, and didn’t want to waste any real potential. Perhaps that was the reason she hadn’t done anything to perturb the human sitting in front of her yet. Academics were valuable to her.

Even so, she had a job to do, and so she examined what exactly she was doing. Just pestering her, shifting her pencil, making her lash out at nothing might work. Peridot knew very well that she was invisible to all adult humans besides the one she was haunting, and so she was not afraid to cause embarrassment. Something within her told her that feeling like an outcast could do more damage to a human’s psyche than nearly anything else, so alienating Lapis further from her peers may just be what the green demon needed. Without even needing permanent records she could tell that the young woman was the youngest human in this room - a seventeen year old surrounded by twenty year olds. Damn, she must have truly worked her ass off in order to get into the oceanography program so quickly. It would be a lie to say that Peridot was not impressed.

Disturbing her during class may even cause her grades to drop, and the stress of that plus motherhood placed on her would be unrivalled by anything else. It would do her in quickly and easily, with as little mental manipulation as possible required! This would be easy, almost too simple, really. So Peridot reached over and placed her clawed hand over Lapis’ smooth, warm one (why did she notice that) and jerked it ever-so-slightly to the side in order to make an ugly graphite line amongst the neat little letters. The high pitched noise of pure distress that pushed past the girl’s throat was entertaining, and the demon almost didn’t really care about how much of a shame it would be to waist such potential. As a being quite literally from hell, human suffering was very amusing and pleasurable to her - in short, Peridot was a filthy sadist, even if she refused to admit it to anyone.

Just to fuck her up even more thoroughly, the green being muttered a quiet ‘hello’ in the human’s ear and jerked her hand upwards and into the paper, causing a clean rip to slice through the notes she had taken thus far. The delicious distress she was causing and the happiness it arose in her instinct driven ever-present demonic side was enough to keep her from thinking about how much of a shame it would be to destroy such valuable information. “Oh, man. This is gonna make finals so difficult for you, isn’t it? Man, you should really stop fucking up these notes.” Another flick of her wrist guided Lapis’ hand and pencil to rip the notebook paper even more thoroughly.

Lapis, perfectly aware that nobody else could see the demon, really didn’t want to make a fool out of herself. Her struggle was silent, and for the most part she tried to keep it restricted in physical action as well. A bony elbow jutted back, aimed perfectly at Peridot’s gut - if she weren’t mostly intangible at the moment, she was sure that she probably would be winded by the impact. Her hand was focused on trying to regain control and stop decimating her valuable notes, and a sharp glare was shot at the being behind her. Peridot really wished that they weren’t in the very back row of the room right now - oh, to have Lapis look like she was losing it at a completely innocent person would be utterly hilarious. As it stood, though, she was safe to look back and mouth all the obscenities she could think of at the persistent and utterly annoying immortal behind her. Not that it was effecting Peridot, of course.

Finally, the demon just let her have her hand back and permitted her to take out a blank sheet of paper and begin her notes again. She had to think for several seconds to figure out a route she could take that would mess the human up just as much. Perhaps keeping her from even listening to the lecture would be helpful? Peridot just about flung herself across the desk in a less than graceful pose and began to screech in a noise akin to an angry bird. Lapis looked like she wanted to rip the demon apart right then and there, and it looked like she couldn’t even hear what the professor was saying. Good. For once in her afterlife, it looked like the volume and persistence her voice could attain was serving Peridot well.

When she didn’t lose her temper and lash out, though, the demon grew frustrated. Why wouldn’t this clod just react in a negative way? Just looking like she was ready to pull all her hair out wasn’t enough. She needed to do something that would isolate her even further from her peers and make it so that nobody would want to be near her again. … Was college even as petty as high school as far as things like that went? Peridot didn’t remember enough of her human life to know that. Hell, she wasn’t sure she ever even set foot in a college building. It was worth a shot either way.

A completely fuckin’ genius idea popped into her head after thinking about it for a couple of seconds, and the demon flat out snatched the mechanical pencil from Lapis’ hand. The human made a sound of disbelief and anger, lunging a little to make a grab for it shortly after the shock wore off. Peridot floated a little ways off the ground to prevent her from getting her hands on it, and directed her gaze towards the instructor at the front of the room, who had begun droning about the physics of the ocean and how the moon affected the tides. Perhaps it was a bit fascinating, but honestly, the demon could care less about how this clodding planet worked at this point. What mattered was that she had her target, and her aim would not be off even a little. The hissed “don’t you dare” beside her did absolutely nothing to ward her away from chucking the pencil.

So that’s exactly what she did.

The object went sailing through the air with about as much grace of a ballerina, a horrified Lapis watching it go the entire distance until it reached the stoic professor and smacked against his bald head. Looking more disgruntled than anything else, the middle-aged man picked up the object to examine it, and could deduct exactly who it belonged to with the help of twelve neatly printed letters against the side of the mechanical pencil in Sharpie. Anger became clear on his face shortly afterwards, and Peridot held back hysterical laughter as the veins in the sides of his head became visible through the depressingly naked hair there.

“LAPIS LAZULI!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys honest to god please leave a comment at this point I'm only writing it for my own enjoyment and that's only gonna carry me so far


	10. Pearl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pearl really, really dislikes demons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHAT'S THIS? THERE ARE OTHER CHARACTERS IN THIS STORY AS WELL? That's right, the Crystal Gems and Jasper are also going to be involved fairly minorly in the plot! The focus will remain almost exclusively on our favorite cross-species soon-to-be couple, though, no worries.
> 
> Can you catch the reference to another Cartoon Network show in here?

Pearl could not  _ stand  _ demons. She was aware that, like her, they were just doing their jobs. But when their careers overlapped and her own livelihood was put in danger, that was when she hated them. Always, without fail, the beings opposite her would be rude and annoying and act as childishly as they could. She avoided dealing with them when she could, preferring to watch from afar and ensure that the boy she was in charge of protecting would come out of the ordeal unharmed. From what she could tell, this green nuisance was focused solely on Lapis Lazuli, not even making herself known in order to interact with Steven - but, for god’s sake, Pearl was not going to stand by and allow this  _ hooligan  _ of an immortal get in the way of the teenager’s education! She at least deserved to get her college degree.

The pale being was absolutely seething by the time they made their way back to the Quartz Universe household a short amount of time later, after Lapis had been sent home early due to disrupting the class with nothing more than a promise that the professor would e-mail her a transcript of that day’s lecture before midnight. Thank goodness it was a Friday and she could wait until tomorrow to get the things and review them. Pearl simply trailed behind Lapis, who was being poked and prodded and chatted to by a very smug and childish demon. Oh, she could just feel her hatred burning up and blossoming and thriving with every motion of that green ruffian. Perhaps she was a bit overly emotional and too passionate for her own good, but the anger that was growing within her was bound to either come spurting out or cook inside her long enough to hurt her. Being as riled up as she was, the obvious choice seemed to be simply confronting that delinquent right then and there.

The lithe immortal floated up until she was close enough to touch one of them. Lapis swung the front door to the house open and stormed inside, slamming the door behind her. Demons could not enter that place - many enchantments were in place to ensure of that, and Pearl was glad for it. Upon touching the outer border and realizing she could not follow her victim within, the demon plopped down on the porch, crossed her arms, and pouted like an oversized three year old. Which, Pearl decided, she basically was - she had dealt with many demons in her time, and this was the least mature she’d seen.

Pearl figured that it might be more entertaining if the element of surprise was on her side this time, and so she slunk to behind the green being and peered at her from behind for a while, waiting until the demon realized that something was behind her and turned. The paler of the two tried not to become amused when the malevolent creature jumped a solid three feet in the air, and then settled to her feet and tried to put on a stoic and professional expression. Pearl wanted to smack it right off her face. She hoped it didn’t last very long, mainly because by now she knew it was just a ruse.

“It has come to my attention that you are intent on driving Lapis Lazuli to doing not very pleasant things, demon.” She stated, trying to sound calm but really only succeeding in giving off a very good suburban mother impression. Pearl folded her hands in front of her abdomen, staring the demon down in an attempt to make her uncomfortable. It seemed to succeed. Of course it did. Angels and demons were evenly matched as far as power went, but the light given off by the former tended to be quite unconventional for the ladder. Good.

“It’s my job. And my name is Peridot. Use it if you’re going to try and threaten me.” The green being responded, apparently putting effort into maintaining the cold and uncaring tone to her voice. The angel, however, could see right through it. This demon was becoming more and more uncomfortable with every second that passed. Never mind that being around an immortal of the opposite caliber was enough to make her squirm as well. Or that she’d never actually spoken to one head on and had no clue what to say or do in order to tip the situation in her own favor.

“Very well, Peridot. You are to address me as Pearl.” Speaking down to her would surely make her feel inferior. Right? “It doesn’t matter that this is your job. It is not morally correct, and may interfere with my own task. Which I have held much longer than you, I might add.” What was with the sudden urge to spread her wings and fly the heaven out of here? “I would like to suggest that you leave the mortal realm and report back to your superior before I force you.”

The brat just rolled her eyes in response, which honestly made Pearl want to deck her all the more. “Look, princess, I can’t do that. A job’s a job, no matter whether you like the moral implications of it or not. Lazuli doesn’t have any angels assigned to her, so unless you’ve gone rogue there’s nothing I’m doing that’s keeping you from doing your job.” Peridot actually had the gall to stand up and face her following that - luckily, Pearl was taller and therefore they were still on uneven ground. “I don’t need a goody two shoes walking around trying to tell me not to do what I’ve been told. Kindly fuck off.”

Ooooh, she was trying rather hard not to lose her temper and lash out. Angels were professional and kind and did not do such a thing. Even if the demon they were dealing with was driving them absolutely up the wall. “My job is to ensure the protection and happiness of the boy she used to babysit and is still friends with. Steven. If you drive her to kill herself, then not only will I have failed in gaining someone an opportunity to become an angel, I will have also failed in making sure that my charge stays happy and healthy. What happens if you get her to do it? You get a pat on the back and maybe a higher rank? A smack with a ruler if you don’t?” Admittedly, she heard that things weren’t nearly so cruel in the strict order of heaven as they were in the controlled chaos of hell. But that wouldn’t stop her from trying to make it look like she was the one in the right here - which she was certain she was! “I may have to get my own superior involved if you don’t relent.”

“If it’s so important, why don’t you get out superiors to talk to each other then? I’m sure that’ll go swimmingly after yours, you know, excommunicated mine. Bringing them into this won’t do much besides causing a fuckton of avoidable drama over one pitiful and insignificant human.” Peridot crossed her arms, green eyes glaring heatedly into baby blue. “Give it a rest, Pearl. I’m sure Pink Diamond will let one human slide considering if I do the same I run the risk of losing my job and status and getting thrown right into Tartarus without a second thought.” Evidently, she was trying to best the angel at her own game, and while it did force Pearl to see the other side of things it also enraged her.

They were at a bit of an impasse here, though the pale immortal forced herself to believe that she was going to win this argument and the other would be sorry for it. Though it was unnecessary and forced her to glance down and watch the other from the lower corner of her eyes, Pearl straightened up and watched the green demon impatiently. “I don’t understand why you’re being so difficult about this. Lapis has done nothing wrong besides get pregnant at sixteen and then maybe self harming or drinking alcohol or lashing out a few times beforehand. She was on a fairly clear path to being a civilian up in Cloud City. It’s not really necessary for you to be swaying her over to your side… not to mention it’s just plain cruel. Hasn’t the poor girl been through enough already without you sending her mental health all haywire?” She huffed and crossed her arms. Did Peridot even have emotions to cater to?

“Hasn’t she been through enough without you trying to use her as a bargaining chip against me?” The demon snapped back, though Pearl was convinced that she was entirely incorrect. The angel was doing no such thing. “Just let me do this one thing. I’m not going to be bothering your human. Hell, I’m probably not even going to be able to look at him all that much. In fact, I think it’s a pretty fair deal that Lapis gets a safe zone without me in this house. It’s more than most other assignments get.” Okay, admittedly, that was correct.

“... Fine.” Pearl finally admitted, quite bitter about losing the argument. Typically, she came out the victorious one. Even when she was wrong, which she normally convinced herself she wasn’t. “I have another condition, though. If you do not succeed in getting her to kill herself before the new year begins on January the first, then you will give up and tell Yellow Diamond that you failed.” Perhaps that was stretching it a bit, but in the angel’s eyes it was perfectly reasonable. That gave her four and a half months to put an honest effort in, and considering how strong Lapis was it was a fair bet. A thin hand was outstretched, though she dreaded feeling that clawed one in her own. Momentarily, she was in disbelief that she was trying to strike up a deal with a demon, of all creatures. But it felt to be her last and safest option - from what she heard, they never went sour on their bets.

“I can make no promises now.” Peridot replied reluctantly, crossing her arms tighter and glaring suspiciously at the extremity offered to her. Pearl could assume that she was trying to figure out a lie in this, something that was less than reliable. Typical for a demon, in all honesty. They were not the most trustworthy of species, especially for an afterlife type. “... But I can agree to it for the moment. So long as I can back out of the deal anytime before that one human holiday… Christmas, or whatever it’s called.” Of course she was looking for loopholes.

Pearl decided that she would have to take what she could get out of this hooligan. Whatever would more easily guarantee the human’s safety. She didn’t see very much that could possibly go wrong with this, unless of course Lapis was suffering more than she let on - which was also somewhat likely. She fretted over it for quite a bit of time, trying to think of whether this was the most adequate of choices. Finally, she nodded and stretched her arm ever so slightly more. “That seems reasonable. And yes, it is called Christmas, and it takes place on the twenty fifth of December. So one week before your deadline.” Not the longest gap of time, but she could live with it.

With an ounce more reluctance, Peridot glanced around to ensure nobody was watching and slid her own hand against the other’s. A firm grasp and a solid shake were performed, and Pearl felt as though she would fall to her knees for a moment - was this against some code? Was her soul being bound with the initiation of the bet? Or perhaps she was just being dramatic. That was a pretty fair assumption as well, in all honesty, and the one that her partner Amethyst would readily believe at the drop of a hat. No matter - the deal was set, and according to code they were both bound to it.

“I’ll have my eye on you.”

“I look forward to the endless annoyance.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pearl is fun to write, I utilized the thesaurus a lot on this chapter.
> 
> Thank you so much for the comments. I don't normally reply unless they're questions or things I feel need replying to just to keep it clean, but I read every one of them and they fuel me with the inspiration to keep writing. I was really pleased with the feedback of the last chapter.
> 
> Maybe I'll stop slapping comment-fishing at the end of every chapter and maybe the world will end idk
> 
> ALSO just a reminder I check the Tumblr tag "hahd lapidot" every day and I have a writing Tumblr, teamchaosprez!


	11. The Student's Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot bothers Lapis while she takes her notes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know about you guys but I'd probably cry if I was trying to do my homework and some annoying bugger started bothering me.

Spending the rest of the day up until dinner with the Universe family had, for the most part, improved Lapis’ mood gone sour… especially because Peridot hadn’t followed her. Maybe it was a bit of a blessing that she had been sent home early as well, because she had an extra two hours to sit around and watch deep sea documentaries with Steven and Malachite and talk to Rose about some issues she’d been having as far as the emotional and social consequences of being a mother went (she didn’t bring up the whole demon issue, of course, that would just get her shipped off to the looney bin). In fact, by the time she brought her daughter home an hour before her bedtime, she was relaxed and had almost completely forgotten about her little predicament. It certainly helped that her own mother was out of the house and her personal demon did not make a reappearance - bathtime and storytime had gone on peacefully and easily, and thank whatever god there was, Mala was snoring by the time Lapis had given her a soft kiss on the forehead and left the room with the door open a crack. Maybe she would actually have some piece to take some notes from the transcript her professor had hopefully emailed her by then.

The teenager flopped onto her bed, stretching over the navy blue comforter with a bit of a yawn. With any luck, she’d be able to get to bed before nine, and then she could sleep in until her toddler decided that it was time to get up and face the day. A glance at the analog clock hanging above her closet told her that it was just past six. In order to meet that goal, she’d have to power through the lecture in about three hours - which was a good sixty minutes more than what had been planned for the class. And maybe she could copy and paste important points into Microsoft Word and print it out later to study from, too, since she didn’t need to sprain her hand scrawling down every little thing that the bored robot of a professor was saying. Damn, it was probably a positive thing that she’d been kicked out! For a second she honestly considered emailing the teacher back to see if he could just send her every lecture, which would let her doodle during her oceanography classes and still ace the final come December with flying colors. Though that would probably make her seem unprofessional and not be very beneficial if she ever needed to have that particular professor write her a letter of recommendation. Whatever.

Lapis grabbed her computer from where it rested beside her bed and pulled it open, entering her password and proceeding to impatiently clack her nails against the surface of the device as it booted up. She opened up the Google Chrome application almost mechanically and quickly typed in the address that would bring her to her school email. Sure enough, an email titled “Today’s Lecture” with an enclosed PDF sat in her inbox, waiting patiently for its recipient to open it. Luck really was on her side today, which was a rare occurrence but a welcome one nonetheless. Indeed, by this point she had either forgotten completely about Peridot or assumed that the nuisance would not be paying her a visit tonight. A purposeful click of her mouse was all it took to open up the file, and glorious Times New Roman was presented before her. She’d already sat through a good third of this lecture, and it looked like it would be fairly easy reading - she’d learned most of this shit in high school physics anyway! She was optimistic about how this would go - easy as pie. Maybe even easier.

The process was mostly efficient, if not tedious. She thought about putting on a podcast to ease the boredom and make it a bit less vanilla, but she’d heard long ago that listening to things with words derived from the focus of studying and made you less likely to remember. Wow, how pretentious, but it was a superstition that refused to let her be. Lapis was practically falling asleep on her laptop by seven o’clock, when she was about halfway through the document. Having such snore-inducing ways of learning this material really killed her passion for it, and though it was a shame and she knew it she didn’t dwell on it. She just wanted to copy down these key points and go the fuck to sleep, even though most of her brain power was focusing on not collapsing on top of the keyboard and snoozing the rest of the night away. There were pros and cons to just letting herself do that, the major con being the fact that falling asleep now would absolutely decimate her chances of working up the necessary effort and inspiration to get to work on her notes later in the weekend which would lead up to the rest of the semester which would leave her completely behind and unlikely to do well on her final. Needless to say, her fear of failure was the main factor preventing her much-needed rest at the moment.

“I believe teenage humans need eight hours of sleep every night in order to function properly, and human toddlers are normally early risers due to their parents putting them to bed early.” A nasally voice spoke behind her, and Lapis near jumped out of her skin. It quickly gave way to a groan of annoyance - there goes her potentially peaceful night. “Not to mention you’ve been down on sleep lately as is. Wouldn’t it be beneficial and just logical to shut down your computer and go to bed?” For a moment, the teenager almost believed that the demon was genuinely concerned for her wellbeing. Then she remembered that, at several points during her down times in high school, the fear of failure almost did her in. This piece of shit was trying to play on what had given her mental health issues in the past, and that pissed off Lapis Lazuli more than anything else possible. She’d fought it and won. This piece of shit immortal know-it-all wasn’t going to throw her back into a pit she’d worked so hard to get out of, not now, not ever, not in a million lifetimes.

When she spoke, her voice was filled with venom, her anger and annoyance clear in every word she shot out from her mind. “Fuck off, green bean. My sleep schedule isn’t of any concern to you.” Her fingers worked the keyboard even harder, each stroke coming out in a series of loud clacks. “And neither is my daughter’s. I’ll have you know that I function perfectly fine on a few hours of sleep a night. It kind of comes with the whole motherhood thing.” Once she finished with her sentence, her dark blue piercing gaze was shifted so that she was glaring heatedly at the demon. If looks could kill, Peridot would certainly drop dead right that moment. Double dead? Whatever, it didn’t matter to Lapis how dead this massive twerp was, it just mattered that she could get the annoyance to get the hell out of her house and potentially even her life. “Don’t you have another human to be driving to suicide?”

The demon didn’t even flinch at her glare nor her tone, and while under most circumstances that would have driven Lapis further into a rage at the moment it was just tiring. God, it wasn’t even seven thirty and she was tired beyond withstanding anger. What happened to the bright eyed fourteen year old that could stay up until three in the morning screaming about cartoons on Tumblr and would hold grudges for months? Had she died somewhere along the way the last three years? Or maybe she was laying dormant somewhere deep inside, waiting for something. Yeah, that sounded better.

“No, I don’t. You’re my only assignment at the moment.” Wow, lucky her. “And maybe your sleep schedule is important! Maybe you need some sort of stability in order to have the energy to kill yourself.” Was this demon seriously trying to use reverse psychology on her or was she just an idiot. “And maybe I like letting my humans get attached to me and convincing them that I care so that it’s all the more satisfying to watch when I break them into a million little pieces and they finally lose the will to live and the pain and hatred in their eyes when they see me in hell is absolutely golden.”

Jesus bleeding Christ on the cross.

“That’s fucked up.” Lapis commented in response, returning her concentration back to the screen. She had to finish these notes, and she couldn’t afford to let this annoying being distract her any further. She’d already lost a good ten minutes to this conversation, and she really, really wanted to get to sleep before nine if she could. Though part of her was tempted to throw off her ability to snooze even further just to mess with Peridot and maybe increase the chances of her own survival. This haunting ordeal couldn’t go on forever, right? She just had to tough it out, wait until whoever was in charge of this green disaster came around and declared her a failure. Or wait until she couldn’t take it anymore and had to go get exorcised, which she really hoped wouldn’t be the case. She’d seen enough scary movies to know that nothing but negative consequences to her body and psyche would come from that.

“That’s your opinion.” The demon responded with a huff before shifting to hang upside down in midair behind the human. Lapis glanced backwards, a bit weirded out by this display but not letting it show, before returning to copying and pasting and typing. She was certain she’d be ctrl v’ing in her sleep. “Whatcha working on?” Peridot asked, studying the words on the screen before turning her bright green eyes back to the student diligently working. The teenager tried to avoid the urge to turn towards her, but with an annoyed sigh she did so.

She could not explain why her heart skipped a beat upon their faces being so close. Or why it ran through her mind that the demon owned the greenest pair of eyes that she had ever seen. Or why she was suddenly tempted to lean forward the rest of the way and smash their lips together. As far as she knew, Peridot was not a succubus. In fact, while certainly not ugly, the demon wasn’t exactly the most gorgeous thing Lapis had ever seen in her seventeen short years of life. It was simultaneously confounding and frustrating, and the teenager hated it right to the very core of her being.

Curse being a homosexual. If only she was straight. Maybe she wouldn’t be so fucking torn about how exactly she felt if she was. She was not attracted to the demon trying to get her to kill herself, absolutely not, well, okay, maybe she kind of was, but there was no way she would ever act on it. Or let it interfere with the growing dislike she held in her opinion of Peridot. Fucking hell, she hadn’t felt this much self hatred over her sexuality since the eighth grade, and she wasn’t sure how she felt about it.

“I’m trying to take notes I missed for the class you got me kicked out of. So it’s extra impolite of you to be bothering me right now.” Lapis finally responded cooly, hoping that maybe the slight pause had gone unnoticed by the immortal. And then hoping that the slight ruddy color beginning to appear across her cheeks was also unnoticeable. Wait, she thought she saw a darker shade of green beginning to take over the demon’s face. This was… surreal. “Just let me do this. I really need these notes so I can study for my final at the end of the semester, and while failing it won’t drive me to your amazing goal, it’ll certainly stress me the fuck out. I don’t know if you’ve ever been human and experienced this bullshit before, but school is really important and stressful and I really need to do this so that Malachite and I don’t wind up homeless when my mother inevitably decides enough is enough and kicks us out or I decide that it’s time to break off my current dependency and provide for myself.” Would using big words help her point? Would that get her message across? She didn’t use her vocabulary often.

Peridot pouted momentarily, though Lapis could see her thinking about it. Wow, she got a really fucking weak demon, with sympathies that were beginning to look too easy to play to. She was almost offended by it instead of, you know, the normal person emotion of relieved. If it was so imperative that she die, why hadn’t the big guy sent up the most mean and ruthless demon he had to haunt her? By a logical standpoint, it made very little sense, and it was a bit frustrating.

“... Alright.” The immortal finally spoke, and Lapis wasn’t even shocked that her attempt at rationalizing had gone through like she probably should have been. “But I’m not promising you a peaceful night! And I’m going to be absolutely ruthless tomorrow, just wait and see.”

“Okay, okay, whatever.” She rolled her eyes and went right back to her notes. Lapis didn’t even realize when Peridot had vanished through yet another portal until she had finished and burrowed under her blankets to surrender to the bliss of sleep disruption-free, welcoming the dreamless sleep that awaited her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Peridot is not a succubus they're both just thirsty


	12. Complicated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's an ugly job, but someone's gotta do it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man it feels like I haven't written in this since last year //shot
> 
> I'm so sorry about the wait you guys!

Peridot had openly expressed to Lapis that the teenager would probably not have a very peaceful night, and yet, she went to bed anyway. Perhaps it was a bit annoying, but it was all confusing. Most people would have been afraid to know that a demon might be bothering them all night, but yet again, the Lazuli was apathetic towards her antics. It led the green being to wonder what exactly she could possibly do to get under the human’s skin, if it was even possible. Why had Yellow Diamond assigned her this? It was difficult past her own skill level and experience, to the point she wasn’t even sure she could do anything to lower Lapis’ mental state - let alone before January! Her days were numbered.

The demon plopped into a sitting position in the corner, glaring at the lump in the blankets that was Lapis Lazuli. Part of her wondered how much it took for a human, the most sensitive and easy to break of beings, to become the way she was now, and that part felt sorry for the girl - someone so young shouldn’t really be that dead inside. The rational part of her, however, was thinking back on her observations, on the weaknesses she’d discovered, trying to find the weak link that would bring that wall of apathy tumbling down until it was nothing but rubble at Peridot’s feet. Perhaps it was easy to find, but the demon still had some sense of morals, some way to sense right from wrong, and she didn’t want to target innocents that weren’t part of her job. Lapis was her target, that was it, no ifs ands or buts about it, and she was all that the immortal needed to avoid her own certain doom and maybe move upwards in the food chain down in hell. (Moving positions sounded nice. More benefits.)

Malachite. Malachite was the weak link, one of the only things left that Lapis truly cared about and the only reason the human continued trying as hard as she could in life. The last thing in the world Peridot wanted was to cause damage, however small, to a one year old child. It wasn’t right, even for a demon, and the poor kid had done nothing wrong aside from perhaps disobeying her mother once or twice (and that wasn’t really a sin anyway, since she was too young to be reasoned with). Let alone the lifelong issues that could be set up if her psyche started getting messed with at this age. Because of that, Peridot was forced to think about whether or not she was that desperate, whether or not she should wait for now and see if she could find other little pressure points that could be slashed at in order to break the human down. The time limit she was under was what determined that she was, in fact, desperate, even though it had only been a couple of days. She needed to start breaking Lapis  _ immediately,  _ even if it meant tormenting a toddler that couldn’t even walk more than a few feet yet.

It made her sick that she had to do it, but hey, whatever got her job done.

Peridot rose slowly and began floating down the hallway, fretting the entire way. It was easy to give a toddler a nightmare - they were scared of almost everything at this stage in life, no matter how hard the parents tried to help them get over it. And if the demon could interfere with Malachite’s sleep schedule, then she could also interfere with Lapis’ sleep schedule, and sleep deprivation did wonders when it came to bringing someone closer to suicide - and that wasn’t even beginning to think of the helplessness that the young mother would feel watching her daughter get crankier and become too scared to go to sleep every night. It was brilliant, in a disgusting sort of way that made Peridot doubt her life choices and wonder if there was any way she could quit her job without getting her soul destroyed - and then that made her wonder if she’d been given much of a choice when it came to her current situation. She couldn’t remember most of her humanity, let alone how she’d died or how she wound up becoming a demon that made people kill themselves for a living.

She supposed she hadn’t as she reached the child’s room, and it didn’t really matter, anyway. Peridot did have some free will, but not enough to really matter - her decisions weren’t made for her, per se, but she couldn’t go back on anything her leader said without her own destruction coming up at her with all the force of a freight train. It was unfair, yes, but she had never questioned it before this point - what, exactly was this damned human doing to her? Maybe it would be better for her if she were to just stop thinking, follow her orders and do whatever she needed to do in order to finish her assignment without having to worry about  _ mercy  _ and  _ morals  _ and all that bullshit she had left behind the moment she died as a human. She’d been able to do that when it came to her previous assignments, so why not now?

Hovering over the peacefully sleeping Malachite made Peridot feel menacing, and perhaps not in the best way. The  _ monster  _ kind of menacing, which she couldn’t say she particularly liked. If she held more recollection of when her soul had potential, then maybe she would have despised what she had become - but as it was, she felt as though she was just created that way, and it made her feel awful about her existence for the first time. Even if hating herself was a new sensation for her time as a demon, it felt familiar, in an aching and hopeless way, which she despised but didn’t know how to deal with. Feeling more and more frustrated the longer she waited, Peridot opted for just ditching her train of thought altogether and running on autopilot.

Closing her eyes, she began conjuring a dream in her hands, a little chartreuse orb that grew as she added to it. Nothing very major, of course - she didn’t need to work very hard to scare a toddler, but she still wanted to make it a little intense, working with both Lapis’ and Malachite’s fears and anxieties which she had picked up on in her time haunting the little family. A very simple, very effective nightmare in which Lapis would leave her daughter in a dark room and then forget to come back for her, leaving the toddler to be taken away by tall, hooded strangers without faces. All things considered, it wasn’t a very difficult concept to think up of - for a single busy mother and her lonely child, what more did she need to do, really? And as soon as she pressed the dream into the baby’s mind and checked to ensure that the reaction she wanted was being built up to, then she would be able to go back to her quarters for the night. How easy and simple things became when she let herself be ruthless.

As soon as the nightmare was complete, she knelt so that she was at Malachite’s face level. The girl was already dreaming, her little hands twitching in her sleep and her expression changing occasionally. Just by watching her, Peridot could tell that the dream was probably pleasant, and that caused another stab of guilt to run through her chest. She would be relieved when Lapis finally died, if not just because she would be done with the most difficult and stressful job she’d been faced with, then because this poor child and her mother didn’t deserve any of this.

Gently, Peridot rested her clawed hand and the orb against Malachite’s forehead, watching as the toddler’s face twisted in confusion as she pulled the extremity away. A small glow was visible on her head for just a moment before it dissipated and the dream sunk in. She couldn’t help but stick around to watch, almost feeling a sick twist of glee in her gut as the poor child began tossing and turning, but mostly occupied with the fact that something about Malachite’s appearance was familiar. That nose was very peculiar, and she would be an idiot to forget it - and that wasn’t even mentioning the mane of untameable pale hair that sprouted from her hair, which also caused a bit of curious deja vu. It was an enigma, it vexed her, and she swore to herself internally that she would figure it out before her job was finished, even if she had to visit on occasion after Lapis was dead and gone.

Straightening back up, she walked away from the troubled toddler, approaching the corner of the room. Peridot quickly located where this world and her own met, and dragged a razor-sharp claw down the seam to open a portal that only she could see. She sighed in relief as she felt the inviting heat of her own dimension. The demon quickly hopped through, finding herself back in her quarters within moments. Turning back to her portal, she quickly punched the edges back together - perhaps it wasn’t her most thorough job, and it wouldn’t keep anything  _ in  _ hell, but it would certainly prevent humans from entering the place of the damned - to see the hierarchy because of her would drive a human to madness, would cause a need to rearrange everything and the entire order, and would certainly end in Peridot’s demise.

Sinking into one of the few pieces of furniture she owned - a chair near the entrance - she let out a tired sigh and rubbed her temples. A headache was already beginning to form, and her constant turmoil over the nature of this particular assignment certainly didn’t help anything. Peridot was torn between wanting to take a nap or wanting to return to the human dimension, disguise herself, and drink herself into a stupor at the first bar she could find. Whilst the latter option certainly sounded more appealing - no chance of oversleeping - it would also be dangerous and take a lot of effort.

Napping it was, then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter was shorter than usual and I'm really sorry. I'm not looking forward to the next one because I'll probably cry while writing it.


	13. Slice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis calms her daughter down and then falls into a pit she never wanted to return to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: SELF HARM. DO NOT PROCEED TO READ THIS CHAPTER IF THIS TRIGGERS YOU, OR STOP READING WHEN LAPIS GOES DOWNSTAIRS. VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK, ET CETERA.

Lapis wasn’t entirely sure what woke her up at first. Music was playing through her earbuds, so no noise could have woken her up, and a quick glance at the clock told her it was just after midnight, so she hadn’t gotten the eight or nine hours of sleep that usually woke her up automatically. At first, she thought it must have been a dream she had already forgotten, and so she turned over and curled her blankets a little tighter around her, fully intending to go back to sleep and forget about it. She still felt kind of dead, after all, and absolutely no part of her wanted to get out of bed whatsoever.

However, there was a nagging feeling in the back of her mind that just wouldn’t let her be. With a long and exaggerated groan, she decided that she would just get out of bed and get a glass of water and pretend she had never woken up. As soon as she had stretched and removed her earbuds to allow sound to reach her, however, her attention was called to something.

Crying.

Very  _ loud, _ very  _ familiar _ crying.

Malachite.

Fuck.

The teenager quickly jumped out of bed, actually avoiding tripping over her feet, and all sleepiness was forgotten as she made a run for her child’s room. In a bit of a blind panic, she had a bit of a struggle with the doorknob, but quickly managed to shove the door open and turn on the light. As soon as the incandescent light flooded the room, her heart lurched in her chest; Malachite was clutching the stuffed shark she slept with, trying to calm her sobs but failing. Lapis was at her daughter’s side in less than a second, pulling the toddler onto her lap and rocking her slowly. Malachite almost immediately clung to her mother, pudgy little arms adopting a death grip and face buried in her shirt.

“Shh, shh, it’s okay, Mala. I’m here, I’m here.” She murmured softly, gently combing her fingers through the child’s pale hair. “It was just a bad dream, you’re okay.” At least, she was assuming it was nothing but a bad dream - Malachite was a heavy sleeper, and she wouldn’t freak out over seeing scary shadows or anything like that due to a firm belief that all the monsters were ‘there to protect everybody.’ There wasn’t much else it  _ could _ be, and internally Lapis knew exactly whose fault it was - though she couldn’t shake the internal feeling that her inability to  _ comfort  _ Malachite meant that she was a bad mother. Somehow, this didn’t seem very fair. “Do you wanna talk about it, Mala? It might make you feel a little better.”

The toddler sniffled and loosened her grip a little so she could speak, turning her face so that only her cheek was pressed against Lapis’ middle. “I-in dark room… y’said you’d be back… bu’ you never came… n’ big men wi’ou’ faces took me awayyyy…” The last word ended in a long whine, and her grip tightened again. “n’ den I woke up n’ I yelleded for you n’ you didn’ come n’ I though’ you really lef’ me like you did in m’ dream…”

Lapis tried to swallow down the lump forming in her throat, a bit of a sour taste in her mouth. She knew she didn’t always carry through on her promises, and she knew that her daughter probably sometimes felt abandoned… Christ, maybe the nightmare was  _ her _ fault. Had Malachite really thought that she’d been abandoned? Like Lapis herself had so many times as a child? The mere  _ idea _ of it made her sick to her stomach with self loathing, and she gently peeled the toddler’s face from her middle in order to cup her cheek, carefully wiping the tears away with her thumb and trying to remain composed.

“Malachite, I will never, ever,  _ ever _ leave you or forget about you. I don’t think I could. You’re my baby, and I love you so, so, so much. Do you understand?” Lapis spoke quietly and softly, trying to keep her voice steady and calm, though it was a bit of a challenge due to the tears preparing to spill.

Malachite sniffled and nodded before burying her face back into Lapis’ shirt. The teenage mother sighed heavily before resuming her gentle back and forth motion, carefully rubbing her daughter’s back in a soothing pattern. Eventually, the sobs died down, and Malachite was reduced to just hiccuping and whimpering. “Are you still gon’ spend the weekend wit’ me?” She asked quietly, meekly, as if searching for evidence that her dream really wouldn’t ever come true. Lapis bit her lip - she had to go surfing in the morning, she _had_ to, she’d been looking forward to it for months now.  
But most of her knew that no, she didn’t have to go surfing in the morning, and that she had agreed to sacrifice most of her own wants and needs in order to make sure her daughter was mentally and emotionally stable when she decided to raise her. And so she sighed, burying her face in Malachite’s hair in order to give her a soft maternal kiss on the top of her head. “Yup. I’m going to be home until Monday, and we can do whatever you want. We can even go see a movie together if you want! It’s going to be a lot of fun. I promise.”

That seemed to pacify the toddler, who made a meek little sound that resembled a ‘yay’ and loosened her grip so that it was  _ far _ more relaxed. Lapis remained where she was, simply rocking Malachite back and forth and humming a little melody that she remembered distantly from her own childhood. After a very brief amount of time, the child had gone limp and began softly snoring, her breathing completely relaxed. The young mother stayed still for a few moments after, and when she was certain that the baby wouldn’t wake up as soon as she was moved, carefully peeled her off in order to lay her down and tuck her back in.

Once she was satisfied that the look on her daughter’s face was a peaceful one and the rest of the night would be spent in peace, Lapis stood and turned the bedroom light off before leaving and walking downstairs. Self hatred was starting to hit her, and her mind didn’t seem to want to stop reminding her that her daughter had just had a  _ nightmare _ about her  _ abandoning her.  _ She couldn’t shake the fear that she was turning out to be exactly the same type of mother that her own was.

She convinced herself that she was just going to get a glass of water to calm down, but in reality, she knew  _ exactly  _ why she was going downstairs. She knew that the knife block was in clear view of the sink, and she knew that being around sharp objects was going to drive the urges she was suppressing far,  _ far _ past what she knew she could manage. Whatever.  _ Whatever. _ It wasn’t like anybody would care that she was starting to hurt herself again. Wasn’t like anyone would  _ notice. _

Lapis walked over to the cupboard and pulled out one of the larger glasses, walking over to the sink and turning the cold knob so that freezing water would pour out. She would drink the water first, she promised herself, and see if the urges would fade, see if she could make it through tonight without making her  ~~_ worthless _ ~~ self bleed. But then again, why did it matter? She was going to do it anyway, she knew she would, she was so  _ horrible  _ and didn’t know how to control herself. She sniffled, almost feeling as though she was about to cry, though her heart was beating too fast for that to happen. Her hands were shaking, and she hadn’t even realized it until cold liquid had splashed onto her wrist. She snorted a little, examining the skin of her inner arm. The scars there had faded fairly well - she hadn’t made a single cut since her sixteenth birthday when she was upset that her mother had forgotten.

Before she could even consider stopping herself, she’d reached over and closed her fist around the hilt of a steak knife.

Before she could even process what she was doing, she had pressed the blade to her skin and, in a shaky swipe accompanied by a lot of pressure, created a clear line in her skin.

It stung, but in an oddly satisfying way.

The blood came the wound quickly and unforgivingly, and touching it made it sting more. She sniffled a little - pressing on it  _ hurt,  _ enough to almost make her cry, but she muttered slurs and insults to herself over and over to help convince herself that she  _ deserved  _ it. The pain made her greedy, made her feel like she needed  **more,** and thusly she shifted the position of her blade to her upper arm in order to repeat the process, but this time applying even  _ more _ pressure so it hurt her even  _ more _ and created one of the deepest wounds she’d ever inflicted on herself. That was going to create a nasty scar - maybe it would even get infected and not heal quite right.

Good.

Slice, slice, slice. Cut, cut, cut. A grand total of six straight lines across both her upper and lower arm, and tears were streaming down her face from the pain at this point. When she realized what she was doing, she only grew  _ angrier _ at herself. She was horrid, useless, couldn’t even  _ stop self harming.  _ There was no way someone as fucked up as herself would be able to do anything in life.

So she pressed the tip of her blade against the far side of her wrist, intending to slit both of them so that the key veins would make her bleed to death. Good. That was what she wanted at the moment and that was what she was going to get. She could end it, give Peridot what she wanted so that her daughter would be spared the pain and keep  _ herself _ from damaging Malachite with shitty parenting.

“Lapis?”

The sound of her own name jerked her out of whatever trance she was in, and though she didn’t remove the knife from her wrist, she quickly turned her head to face the voice that was unfamiliar in her panic. However, she quickly recognized the tall woman, blinking the sleep from her eyes and without the hood she wore over her dark hair for once. Probably because it was going on one in the morning and she’d been sleeping. Ashamed, the teenager turned her face away from her mother again - how  _ dare  _ she come out here and interrupt her from offing herself!

Her shoulders were shaking a little from restrained sobs, and she didn’t even notice that Blue Diamond had approached until a hand rested on her shoulder - which, much to her chagrin, made her jump from surprise. “Lapis. Put down the knife.” She spoke slowly and patiently, and while Lapis  _ wanted _ to get angry at that, it didn’t do much besides get through to her and convince her to drop the knife to the floor with a clatter. Her mother turned her around and - a bit awkwardly - pulled her to her chest in a hug. At first, the teenager tensed up, unsure of how to react, but then she burst into tears and wound up returning the embrace with her uninjured arm.

Blue Diamond was patient, carefully stroking her hair and waiting for her to stop sobbing her eyes out. It was strange, but oddly fitting, that her mother would be there for her the one time she desperately needed it.

It took a solid three minutes before she managed to calm to just hiccups and uneven breaths, and her mother pulled away to gently take the hand of her uninjured arm. “Let’s get you cleaned up, okay?”

“O-okay…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry this took so long i had to force myself to write this & i really didn't wanna.
> 
> please comment with feedback!


	14. Amethyst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A certain purple angel shows up, and Peridot feels bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Amethyst is actually really hard to write wtf

Amethyst didn’t hate demons all that much, not really. Things were the way they were; angels worked up in Cloud City protecting humanity (or, in her case, one human), and demons worked down in Hell trying to lure people down to become more demons. Unlike Pearl, who tended to go on long and insufferable tangents on how thoroughly awful their rivals were, Amethyst was perfectly content to just let things happen as they did. If either species stopped working, the balance of space and time would be thrown off and humanity would fall into discord. While that would be funny to watch, it would also be absolutely disastrous and the afterlife would run straight out of new recruits on either side. And that couldn’t really happen - everyone would have failed their purposes.

Unfortunately, she was usually stuck in the house with Steven while Pearl and Garnet bided their time looking for other trouble. They always told her it was because she was such a wild spirit, and that she would probably cause some severe mischief that would throw balances off if she wasn’t constantly on house arrest. It was exceedingly frustrating to her, because she wouldn’t be a guardian if she couldn’t mostly resist temptation to cause trouble, but as the youngest of the group there wasn’t much she could do to defend herself and get a better job. Amethyst felt  _ trapped,  _ like a caged animal stuck in a prison that was kept under heavy watch and the strongest padlock known to man.

She never really considered that she could just disobey and leave while the other two weren’t watching, that she was free to do what she pleased when Steven was sleeping. At least, not until late at night (or early in the morning depending how one looked at it) when she was overcome by the overwhelming feeling that something was going wrong next door, that something horrible was going to happen. Instinct dictated that she get the hell over to the Diamond-Lazuli household and prevent what she could - she was vaguely aware that there was a demon after the soul of that girl (what was her name? Lapis.) and that said haunting was probably the reason that something was going down. The prospect of running into someone on the opposing side didn’t scare her all that much, though.

Amethyst might not have hated demons, but she knew how to fight them if she had to.

Upon drifting through the first floor’s wall, though, she noticed with a little bit of confusion that she couldn’t feel the presence of anything supernatural in the house. The presence of three humans, sure, but not the coldness that a demon would give off. Whatever was happening, she probably couldn’t blame it on the spook of the house… and that just unsettled her all the more. Pearl and Garnet had both forgotten their own deaths long ago, but Amethyst could still look back on hers and see it as clear as day. How alone she’d felt, dying alone in her cold apartment with nothing but a fuckton of pills in her stomach and cuts on her arms. She didn’t  _ want _ to remember it, and yet she did, and it all came back to her thanks to the vibes that whatever was happening let off.

She wouldn’t wish that sort of ending on anyone else, much less someone like Lapis who had been fighting her depression for years and just barely scraped out of the worst of it intact. So she quit walking and began floating, frantically searching for the human that she just  _ knew  _ would need saving. She thought up a very splotchy plan in her head, knowing that one of the few things she couldn’t do was directly interact with a mortal unless it was the one she’d been assigned to.

She could, however, do little things like rouse a human from sleep and give them the overwhelming urge to check in the kitchen. And she didn’t even need to really  _ see _ the knife in Lapis’ hands to know exactly what she was doing, so she almost immediately backtracked through the hall and started poking her head in doors. She didn’t know  _ for sure _ if waking up Blue Diamond and sending her to the teenager would help much, but she could at least hope to keep Lapis alive another day.

The angel hurried over to the bed against the wall, noticing at the last second that she really had no clue how to wake someone up. Frustration built up within her as she began pacing back and forth, trying to figure something out. After what felt like hours, she realized that she could just  _ create _ the urge and then plant it in Blue Diamond’s mind. That would surely get her up and moving to the kitchen in no time at all. Excellent plan - though she didn’t pat herself on the back  _ quite _ yet, instead focusing on conjuring the urge. Just to go check on Lapis, and maybe to take care of Malachite in the morning as well, because God knows the young mother would need her rest come sunrise.

The cast was rushed, and the orb that formed in her thick hands was glowing a frantic and pulsating bright purple. Silently wishing for it to be a quick and spotless process, she pressed the orb to the forehead of the sleeping woman, gnawing on her lower lip and shifting her weight between her feet restlessly. Time was running out, she could feel it, a gnawing and festering  _ something _ in the back of her mind that just refused to let her be until the threat was vanquished.

When Blue Diamond woke slowly and got out of bed without any hesitation, not even thinking to put on her hood, Amethyst was immeasurably relieved. She drifted just behind, watching to make sure that the knife was safely removed and Lapis was  _ not _ going to die tonight. It wasn’t until the girl had let her mother guide her to the bathroom to clean and dress her wounds that the angel allowed herself to relax. She made the quick decision to sleep in Lapis’ room that night, to protect her from the demon should she decide to come back in the morning.

If Pearl and Garnet complained about it, at least she knew they were in the wrong.

* * *

 

Peridot had overslept. By the time she realized that it was time to get up and get to her human, she knew that the time in the mortal realm was at least eleven in the morning. Lapis would be up and at it by then, taking care of Malachite and probably getting secure in the thought that she hadn’t shown up yet. And the demon couldn’t let that happen. She needed to make hopelessness a prime emotion.

When she split open a portal and stumbled into the teenager’s room, though, she was surprised to find that there was still a very unconscious Lapis on the bed. She was snoring lightly, so Peridot knew for certain that she was alive and simply asleep, but there were many things wrong with this… the most pressing issue being that the average human child of Malachite’s age would have normally gotten out of bed and roused her mother by now. Confusion was apparent on the demon’s face as she walked over to the mortal with a purpose, fully intending to find out what was going on…

… Oh.

The first thing that Peridot noticed was the bandages on Lapis’ left arm, blood leaking through the white fabric but dried and turned brown by then. It didn’t take a world class detective to figure out why she was wounded; the cuts were most definitely self inflicted.

And Peridot wasn’t quite sure why her stomach lurched and her blood ran cold upon realizing this. She certainly should have been pleased that she was getting through to her assignment more than the human let on. But instead of feeling smugness or enjoyment out of the discovery, instead she felt… something else, and she didn’t like it. It made her chest feel heavy and made her feel like she was the absolute worst being that ever existed, which made absolutely no sense. She didn’t recognize the emotion, but she was certain that it shouldn’t have been a reaction to learning that a human had self harmed and the indirect cause was the nightmare she planted in a child’s mind. She was a demon, for stars’ sake, and she was supposed to get giddy and take pleasure from the pain of others. So why wasn’t she happy about Lapis’ suffering…?

She didn’t have very much time to think on it, though, because in observing the sleeping human she accidentally stepped on someone. Peridot made an exaggerated startled noise as she nearly tripped and the mass of lavender hair on the ground groaned. Almost comically fast, the immortal backed up and slammed into the wall of the room, seemingly forgetting that she could just phase right through it.

The being on the ground woke up slowly and sluggishly, and Peridot could sense rather than see that she was yet another angel. Honestly, how many of these pretentious assholes were there in this part of Delmarva? Tenseness slowly drifted out of her muscles as she floated back over, sitting defiantly on the edge of Lapis’ bed with her arms crossed. She took a moment to subconsciously make herself invisible to all mortals once again - for some reason, the absolute last thing she wanted was for Lapis to wake up and see her talking to herself like some sort of loon.

When the angel made herself sit up, she stretched without getting up, and lazy dark purple eyes settled on the demon. “Hey. Name’s Amethyst.” The immortal spoke, seemingly not even realizing that they were on  _ opposing sides. _

“Peridot.” The demon replied simply and quickly, crossing her arms and puffing out her cheeks slightly. “If you’re here to try to get me to lighten up on my assignment, it’s not going to work. One of your angel friends already tried that.” And succeeded, though she wouldn’t admit that so easily. “And this human isn’t your assignment, so I suggest you get lost.”

“Nah, don’t worry about it. I was just about to leave.” Amethyst replied, slowly rolling to her feet. Much to Peridot’s relief, this one was about the same height as her instead of unneededly tall. However, she did approach so that they were uncomfortably close, and it took most if not all of Peridot’s self control to not squirm and back away like she wanted to. “I just gotta ask you a question, though. Ya don’t have to answer me. Just make sure you think about it.”

“If it will make you leave, I will comply.” The green demon responded, hands clenched together behind her back. “I have a job to do, and I’m assuming that you do as well, or you wouldn’t even know to come here.” Green eyes narrowed, scrutinizing the purple angel, who didn’t even seem to flinch.

“It will, it will, don’t worry.” Amethyst gave a slight laugh at the response, which befuddled Peridot more than anything. What had she said that had any humor to it? Whatever it was, it wasn’t intentional. “Look, I know that immortals like us don’t really have much free will. But, y’know, I’ve heard legends of some breaking through because of instincts… or feelings… or knowing better. So I just want you to think about whether or not you  _ actually want  _ to drive this poor kid to killing herself. I mean, you looked pretty shocked and not too happy to see that she hurt herself-”

“You were  _ awake?!” _

The angel ignored her inquiry, though, and just kept talking. Typical. “- and she  _ does _ have a pretty cute kid to look after and raise. So just, I dunno, consider if this is really the right thing to do.”

“It’s my job.”

“I never said it wasn’t.”

Peridot started thinking after that -  _ did _ she really want to do this, or was she just following orders? Lapis certainly didn’t deserve what she was getting, and she was so young and pretty and full of potential. It would really be a shame to make her die so soon in her life…

The silence of her thoughts was interrupted, though, by Amethyst - “And don’t worry about Malachite, b-t-w, she’s with her grandmother. Kid could kinda use her sleep, so don’t wake her up. Or I’mma have to fight you next time we meet.”

With that, the purple angel disappeared through the wall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aw, look, green bean cares a little bit.  
> Please please please leave some feedback if you're enjoying!


	15. Guilty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot feels remorse, and doesn't care for the emotion all that much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Lapis and I feel really bad that I always give her the full brunt of everything.

Peridot had no clue why the suffering of a human who was _supposed_ to suffer bothered her so much. She was kind of inexperienced in the whole “emotions” and “remorse” department, and as she paced about around the room, the answers didn’t become any clearer to her. There was a certain… urge to protect Lapis Lazuli, avoid hurting her mentality again, and said urge was overpowering all logic and the instinct to just do her goddamn job, and she didn’t know how to deal with it. She _wanted_ to hate the human girl for doing this to her, making her feel unfamiliar things. But, apparently, part of this mysterious affliction involved not being able to despise the cause.

She didn’t like it very much. She wished she could get rid of it, but she knew that she wouldn’t be able to through any means she was aware of. So she was stuck just pacing about in Lapis’ bedroom, occasionally glancing at the human to ensure that she was still asleep - she’d probably give her a day off to recover somewhat anyway. Which was partially against the rules as far as hauntings went - she was supposed to be merciless, cruel, hammer down on her assignment’s mental state until she cracked. She was _not_ supposed to feel smaller as a result of the job, and she was _not_ supposed to give any ‘breaks.’

But, hell, she wasn’t about to be told how to do her job. She’d do it her way, and if that included a day for Lapis to recover from almost attempting to take her own life and for Peridot to think about what she would do from then on out, then so be it. It wasn’t like Yellow Diamond was going to find out that she was biding her time, so unless someone showed up to tattle she wasn’t in any danger.

She sighed heavily and sat slowly at the edge of the bed, staring at the human’s face. Lapis was peacefully asleep, and Peridot couldn’t sense any dreams coming from her mind - she must have been too tired to envision anything in her sleep. Good. Any dream could turn into a nightmare, and the poor girl needed a break. The demon scowled when she realized that she had just considered it good that a lack of bad things were happening to the person she was supposed to lead to death. Great, now she didn’t have any control over how she responded to things. Not that she’d had any to begin with.

Lapis shifted in her sleep, and Peridot perked up a little, ready to do something; however, she did not wake. That was a bit of relief. The green being needed time to think, and she was no good at multitasking - if she had to bother the human while she was pondering, then she wouldn’t be able to get anything done. Without really thinking about it, she adjusted the blankets over the girl with a heavy sigh, shifting so that she was completely on the bed and crossing her legs.

This situation was only getting more confusing and exhausting as time went on. She was wandering further from being content and more towards outright hating her job. Peridot was fishing to blame _anyone_ for what she was feeling - and since Lapis probably hated her and had nothing to gain from making her experience **emotion.** Her boss, well, she was superior, and there was no way that Peridot could focus her anger in that direction. And if she was looking to be mad at her job, well…

The only direction to turn in was at herself. For getting into whatever mess led to her becoming a demon in the first place. For not hitting with her all right away and driving Lapis to suicide within a day. For… pretty much everything that made her a _demon,_ made her what she was. She was immediately frustrated, a little angry, longing to just smash something and make herself feel better by wreaking destruction. Unfortunately, the only thing nearby that was even possible to break was her glasses, and even though she was beginning to get violent urges, she was well aware that she was extremely nearsighted and wouldn’t be able to do much of anything - there was no way to get replacements.

A demon with terrible vision. She kind of wanted to laugh every time she thought about it. How had she even received this job? If they broke, she would be useless, stumbling around and squinting and impossible to take seriously - an already clumsy being trying to get by in a reality where everything more than a foot away was blurry as fuck. It would be Tartarus for her within minutes for sure. No, the violent and destructive urges would just have to be suppressed for now.

Peridot sighed heavily, and that seemed to cause the sleeping human to stir. The demon quickly shot upwards as best she could, darting from her position on the bed to zip through the inner door and into the closet. If she had a heart, it would have been pounding in her chest like a sledgehammer. Quietly, she inched open the door to the small space slightly, green eyes examining the waking human in near silence.

The thin human sat up slowly, stretching with a small strained noise before rubbing her eyes drowsily.  She seemed to take a moment to wake up, but Peridot could sense that she was rested for the first time in a while. That was good. And thinking that it was good frustrated her - she should have been hoping for Lapis to be sleep deprived, but she wasn’t. The demon thought about dashing out and terrorizing her for a little while, but couldn’t bring herself to do it, so she simply sat back and observed as the girl slid out of bed and caught sight of the clock above the closet door - not noticing her, thank goodness. She seemed to be confused, and then worried.

Lapis wasn’t used to sleeping in, that much was clear - Peridot briefly wondered how long it had been since she slept in past eleven like this. Or even past nine. Quickly, though, she had to stop thinking on it, because the human had begun to walk out of the room. She cloaked herself in invisibility, floating behind by several feet so as to not alert her to her presence. It wasn’t too hard, considering Lapis seemed to be quite groggy, still waking up, and probably was not too keen on watching out for anyone that might have been following her in her own home.

The demon watched silently as the girl stopped at the top of the stairs. Malachite was watching a cartoon on the television contentedly on the floor just a small distance from the base of the steps, a watchful Blue Diamond sitting on the couch to make sure she didn’t wander off and hurt herself. It was almost heartwarming, though Peridot didn’t really linger on it much. Moving slowly forward and eventually stopping a little to the side of Lapis - she seemed to be confused, relieved, envious, and jealous all at once, judging by the expression on her face.

“I’ll thank her later,” the human muttered, and for a moment the demon was worried that she’d spotted her and spoken to her, but that was not the case. She was just talking to herself, judging by how low her volume had been when she spoke and how her gaze had been directed downwards. Peridot had to move out of the way at the last moment to avoid getting run into, and followed close behind as Lapis began to walk back towards the second story bathroom. The demon barely managed to slip inside before the human shut the door behind her and locked it.

She remained invisible, a bit of a cyan blush appearing on her face as the other removed her clothes. The demon was tempted for a moment to avert her gaze, but did not in a last ditch effort to convince herself that she didn’t consider humans to be on the same level as herself. Besides, modesty was a completely idiotic habit created by humans! Naked bodies weren’t even inherently sexual, and even if they were, sexual activity was a completely normal habit across all biological organic life! Well. She also kind of enjoyed the view, which she was exceedingly ashamed of herself for.

Yes, she was… _attracted_ to Lapis Lazuli. That much she would admit, because that much she was familiar with. It was a new feeling for her, yes; she’d always assumed herself to be asexual. It was not unheard of for a demon to become sexually attracted to a human, and Peridot had suffered through Jasper blabbering about how sexy some of the humans she’d run into had been. She knew, at least, what she was experiencing in that regard. What she didn’t know, however, was why something in her chest tugged her towards the human, urging her to hold her and make her feel safe and kiss her softly.

Romantic attraction was, after all, unheard of for demons. Most didn’t even know that it was a _possibility._ To genuinely fall in love was rare for beings made mostly of darkness, and various punishments had been eluded to by their superiors. Nobody cared to find out what would happen if they were to act on a romantic attraction, and nobody really experienced it, so there wasn’t really a point in testing how far they could go without getting in trouble. Peridot wasn’t really willing to consider it a possibility, no matter how much evidence pointed towards it.

She found herself cruelly jolted out of her thoughts once more, though, when Lapis removed the bloodied bandages on her upper arms. The cuts there were deep, and would definitely scar and contrast dramatically with the girl’s tan skin. Peridot’s heart leapt into her throat, and she couldn’t resist the urge to cover her mouth with one clawed hand. _She_ had done that. Not directly, she certainly hadn’t brought a blade to the soft flesh, but she had caused the nightmare that pushed Lapis over the edge. And maybe that was even worse; to hurt someone in such a psychological manner was monstrous.

Her fault. Her fault. Her fault. It was _her fault._

Guilt constricted her throat, stomach dropping significantly to make her feel sick. She now felt guilty for spying on the human at the moment. Guilty for causing that nightmare. Guilty for doing pretty much everything since this assignment had started… hell, guilty for whatever it was that made her become a demon in the first place. This time, she couldn’t find it in her to become bitter at these thoughts. Just… guilty. It consumed everything, even her logic.

Perhaps it was a good thing, because as she slipped silently out of the bathroom and sank to the ground, she didn’t see any option but to _help_ Lapis instead of _hurt_ her. Peridot pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her face on them, giving a heavy sigh. She could be executed for this. She didn’t care. She would be sent into an eternity of suffering and damnation. She’d suffer the same fate if she just let the human fall into such a deep depression.

Yellow Diamond didn’t need to know, anyway. Lapis would die eventually, and Peridot’s superior was typically too busy having a stick up her ass to pay attention to exactly how. If the human went to hell anyway, she’d react just the same as if the demon had driven her to suicide.

If she didn’t, well.

Peridot would cross that bridge when she came to it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Demisexual Peridot, yo.
> 
> Feedback please! It gives me the inspiration to write!


	16. Halloween

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two months go by.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like if Lapis is really tired she just gets too uncaring to form lasting grudges tbh, kinda like me

Lapis didn’t  _ hate _ Peridot. Whether she was too tired to or just unable to wasn’t entirely clear to her, but hey, she didn’t really have space to complain. Besides, the demon had explained quite clearly to her (while she was still  _ naked, _ for fuck’s sake) how sorry she was and how she wouldn’t be causing any harm, physical or psychological, to either Lapis or Malachite in the future. Then she’d begged forgiveness, and the teenager had given it to her - not that she’d even been all that bitter to begin with. But, hey, if it made the demon stop apologizing and leave her alone to get dressed, then she was fine with it. It was nice to have the guarantee of safety, anyway.

All things considered, Lapis had her mental health back up to where it had been pretty quickly. She just had to throw all her focus into her parenting and schoolwork and surfing and, viola, she didn’t really have time to think on how much she could deteriorate after just a few bad days. She had a tendency to avoid her problems until they came back and punched her in the face, but honestly, that was fine by her; maybe one of these times it would  _ stay _ ignored and she wouldn’t have to worry about it ever.

Once Peridot stopped being a nuisance, Lapis had to admit that she was pretty cute, and had a good heart somewhere under all her… demon-ness. She adopted a tendency to help the teenager with her math homework whenever she had trouble, and was always willing to spend time with Malachite in a pinch when the load of homework got to be too much. Hell, the toddler even seemed to like her, and became one of the few beings that she was willing to babble to without many breaks. Lapis would frequently glance up from taking oceanography notes to find the demon spending time with her daughter, and admittedly, once she got used to it and wasn’t afraid anymore, it was pretty adorable.

_ She _ got along with the immortal, too. Most of her caution was abandoned pretty early on, because she honestly couldn’t find any ill will in Peridot to make her wary. She never had realized how much she’d needed someone to sit by and listen to her complain about things that were going wrong; having someone to vent to helped her immensely, and the demon hadn’t judged her once. She supposed that she didn’t have much of a right to, anyway, considering what had been caused by her.

Peridot seemed to trust Lapis in return, because she made a few confessions to the human that she hadn’t before, and may not have to anyone else. She told the teenager that she had led three humans to suicide prior, and that the more time she had to spend in the mortal realm, the more she regretted it. She admitted that there really wasn’t much of anything going right for her in Hell, with a boss that refused to budge on any matter and some of the most simultaneously annoying and lovable coworkers possible. And she told Lapis that  _ she _ was the one that had caused Malachite to have that nightmare - which the young mother had been angry about at first, but forgave her for fairly easily.

She couldn’t blame somebody else for her weakness. That was pathetic and childish. Even weaker than giving in to her own negative urges had been. Lapis was nearly an adult, hell, could be considered one since she had a child and was attending higher education. She had to start taking responsibility for her own actions as well as those of her child.

In the beginning few weeks, there were some days where Peridot would just stay in her own realm and avoid any contact with the family she was bound to whatsoever. Those days were quiet, uneventful, and spent in a bit of a lull. Sometimes, Lapis and Malachite would visit Steven and Rose and spend those days at that household. Others, the teenager would spend teaching the toddler how to swim in the ocean - or when the autumn air made it too cold, the local indoor heated pool. Mala seemed to enjoy water about as much as she did, which was an absolute delight to discover.

However, eventually paranoia set in for the poor demon, and she was too much of a wreck to visit her home without fearing Yellow Diamond’s wrath. So Lapis allowed her to stay in the regular house, and the closet became her space. At first, episodes where Peridot would become increasingly upset and consistently call herself a failure to all of demonkind weren’t uncommon, and while the teenager was saddened to witness them, there wasn’t much she could do but be there to listen. But as time went on and they fell into a rhythm, the demon was more at ease in her new home, however temporary it may be, and the episodes became few and far between.

All things considered, when living with an adorable demon for two months and sharing a friendship that was mutually beneficial, it became difficult to  _ not _ develop romantic feelings for her. Lapis didn’t have much of a hard time accepting it - it was fairly obvious to her that what she was feeling stretched beyond just friendly affection. What  _ was _ hard was wondering if Peridot, a  _ literal demon, _ was even alloromantic, and if she was, whether she returned the feelings.

It was Halloween; four days before Lapis was to turn eighteen. Early in the evening, Lapis had taken Malachite - who was dressed up as a six armed sea monster of her own design - out trick-or-treating in the neighborhood. Peridot had decided to stay home, using the high amount of demonic activity around this time of year as an excuse. “All the teenagers have their Ouija boards out and are trying to summon demons,” she’d explained fairly matter of factly, “and I don’t need any of my cohorts to see me hanging out with the human I’m supposed to be killing. You never know who’s a snitch in Hell. Some - like Jasper - rarely tell the bosses anything, but others - like,  _ god, _ Yvonne - feel the need to report  _ literally everything _ back to Yellow Diamond.”

Jasper. Why had that name seemed familiar to her?

Still, she had understood, and agreed, taking her daughter out to get some free candy by herself. Admittedly, being on her lonesome after two months of having a near constant companion was a little… odd. But at least it gave her space to think without her thoughts being clouded by the subject’s proximity.

Lapis couldn’t help but worry for Peridot’s wellbeing. She was constantly afraid, and that was extremely sad to watch. It was like her anxiety levels had gone through the roof since they met - could demons even have anxiety disorders? She supposed so. Honestly, the teenager felt kind of guilty; if the immortal was still pestering her, or had completed her job already, then she might not be in such an awful place mentally. Whilst she didn’t want to die, Lapis wondered briefly if Peridot was wishing she would despite not trying to harm her.

Which brought up a question that still vexed her to think about.

_ Why _ wasn’t Peridot trying to harm her?

As she carried Malachite up the porch steps to another house, she dug in any logic she could think of for the answer - the demon was a very logical sort of being, after all, and if there was any reason for it, it was  **definitely** one based in reason and knowledge. Much to her frustration, she couldn’t think of anything to explain it - unless she counted  _ science experiment, _ which she wouldn’t, because even though she probably didn’t know Peridot all that well she seriously doubted she was that kind of person. It didn’t make very much sense.

So the only option that was really left was the demon actually  _ having feelings for her, _ if not romantic then seriously strong in the platonic sense. Maybe sexual. She kind of wanted to laugh at the idea of only being spared because some demon wanted to bang her, but she refrained for fear of the people around her noticing and thinking she was insane because of it. She wanted to savor what little positivity she had left in her reputation after having a kid. Mostly so said kid wouldn’t be taken away.

Strong affection it was, then.

Lapis made a mental note to confront Peridot about it later. Now that she’d determined that it was a possibility, she really wanted to get answers on whether or not she was right; even if she was absolutely wrong in every conceivable way, then at least she would  _ know, _ and then she could pressure the demon to give her an absolutely correct response. That was her mission for the night - to find out if Peridot was interested in her romantically, and if not, why the fuck she was being spared.

She was wrenched out of her thoughts far earlier than she would be by her daughter’s voice, and upon snapping out of being zoned out she found that Malachite was practically falling asleep on her shoulder. Her heart melted at the sight of it.

“Mama, I’m tired. Go home now?” The toddler asked, her voice slurred slightly by fatigue. She was having a bit of trouble keeping her eyes open, and Lapis briefly felt bad for not noticing that she was getting sleepy before. It was probably way past her bedtime - which was fine, considering it was Halloween, but it made sense she was so tired already.

“Yeah, honey. We can go home.” Lapis spoke softly, turning around and heading back to the house from the way she had come. “Try to stay awake so I don’t have to wake you up to get you in your pajamas, okay? You’ll be really cranky if that happens.” Still, she took the little plastic pumpkin of candy that Malachite was carrying just in case, fumbling with a moment to detach the handle and clip it around her belt loop one-handedly.

“Mmkay…” The toddler replied sleepily, lifting her head a bit as her candy was taken only to have it go back to her mother’s shoulder.

Unfortunately, though she tried, she was dozing peacefully on her mother’s shoulder by the time they even reached the edge of their driveway. Lapis sighed slightly as she carried her home, making sure to keep one hand on her upper back so she wouldn’t snap back and break her neck. She supposed that she could just tuck her in like she was, considering her costume was just a pair of old footie pajamas with an extra set of arms sewn into the sides… even if she would almost definitely be faced with a toddler tantrum in the morning for ruining it.

Peridot was waiting for her just within the house, and a whispered greeting passed between them as Lapis walked past and towards the stairs. “How did it go?” The demon asked in a tone that was somewhere between a whisper and a mutter. “Have any fun?”

“It went well, and yeah.” Was her response as she reached the top of the stairs and made her way down the hallway to her daughter’s bedroom. “She got tired a lot faster than I thought she would. When I was little, I was always able to stay out on Halloween for  _ hours.” _

“Well, she is just a baby.” Was the demon’s response. She stopped at the doorway to lean against it, watching the young mother tuck her child in. For one reason or another, Lapis felt a little unsteady with an audience, no matter how familiar it may have been. “Infants and young toddlers need much more sleep than children and teenagers and adults do. It makes sense she would get sleepy.”

“Do you ever stop being a know it all?”

“Nah.”

The human rolled her eyes and gave her child a kiss on the forehead before straightening up and walking out of the room - though she didn’t exit before stopping at Peridot and poking her lightly on the chest, in an almost teasing manner if not for the serious tone of her voice.

“I wanna talk to you, c’mon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've gotten some pretty great fanart since the last update! Check em out!
> 
> toradoracherie: http://teamchaosprez.tumblr.com/post/139670246832/toradoracherie-took-more-than-a-couple-hours  
> extendedbone: http://teamchaosprez.tumblr.com/post/139701911662/extendedbone-its-all-my-fault-this-is-for  
> extendedbone: http://teamchaosprez.tumblr.com/post/139739210602/extendedbone-sarcasm-look-at-this-good  
> treker402: http://teamchaosprez.tumblr.com/post/139857536392/treker402-okaya-lot-of-people-ask-me-to-read
> 
> Also, thank you for the feedback and support. It ensures that this fic will be inspired enough to finish.


	17. A Slight Disagreement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And now, the moment you've all been waiting for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> god i love lapidot

Peridot always got excessively nervous when somebody told her that they needed to talk to her. It was force of habit, mostly, a fear that every little thing meant that she was in trouble with her superiors, but even when it was just  _ Lapis _ trying to communicate something with her, she just couldn’t shake the anxiety. So when she followed the small human back to her bedroom, it was with her head ducked down and one arm clutched to her side with the other. She didn’t  _ think _ that she did anything wrong, so it wasn’t like she actually had anything to worry about, and she knew that… but she just couldn’t stop herself from being paranoid, for one reason or another.

Lapis led her back to her bedroom, and closed the door behind them - an unnecessary step, considering nobody else could see the demon, but she supposed she understood her not wanting Blue Diamond to just so happen to walk upstairs as she was talking to the empty air. “It’s nothing bad,” she reassured, apparently having noticed the panicked look on Peridot’s face. “And it… probably isn’t all that big of a deal. I just want to know because surprises… aren’t very fun for me.”

This didn’t help the demon relax at all, but she did nod slightly in understanding. “I can get that,” she spoke slowly, moving backwards to lean against a wall and study the human up and down. “Which is why I don’t understand why you’re stalling in getting the talking over with! I don’t… particularly enjoy being kept in the dark, you know, and if you want to communicate with me I would much prefer if you were to just spit it out and get it over with.” She was slipping into a more formal way of speaking, which she didn’t particularly notice all that much; it helped her feel more professional and in control, and it was more of a habit than anything else. Even if others found it irritating.

“Okay, okay, point taken.” The human replied with a roll of her eyes. “I’m just… a little confused. You used to be all for just hurrying up and getting me to kill myself, but now you’re trying to protect me? Bonding with my daughter, letting me vent to you, helping me with my math homework… it’s just all very confusing, you know?” Lapis then proceeded to use one hand to brush back messy bangs with a heavy sigh, glancing over at the wall as if trying to avoid eye contact with Peridot. “I can’t seem to figure out  _ why _ you’d change your mind so thoroughly. It’s giving me… kind of mixed messages, and I’m confused, and it’s only getting worse because I’m… developing feelings for you. Of the romantic sort. And I’m… not sure if you’re… interested in that sort of thing, so it’s been making it kind of hard to be around you, and I… would kind of appreciate it if you’d… communicate with me a little better, and tell me  _ why _ you’re trying to help me and breaking some kind of demon code instead of doing your job.”

Oh.

_ Oh. _

It took a moment for the other’s words to sink in, and when they did, Peridot’s face turned bright cyan in a blush. She had been…  _ compressing _ her own developing feelings for quite a while - her heart had a tendency to skip a beat whenever she was near Lapis, and she frequently just wanted to impress her and show her that she was  _ somewhat worthy _ of being in her company. She was  _ aware _ that she herself was experiencing romantic attraction, but had been so wrapped up in trying to know if it was even  **possible** or  **natural** for a demon to feel for a human in such a way that she hadn’t considered if these emotions were reciprocated. And… apparently, they were, and she wasn’t entirely sure whether to be relieved or disgusted or some combination of both. She didn’t really think it mattered either way - they were both doomed if they did something about it, and they could never wind up together. Yellow Diamond would throw a conniption fit and possibly go to Satan herself, and Lapis… Lapis would have to suffer through keeping such a huge secret and get the brunt of whatever punishment was appropriate. But at the same time, Peridot did not like the idea of lying, so she took a deep breath and replied.

“Being honest with you, Lazuli, I have been avoiding leading you to your demise for much the same reason. I have developed rather intense romantic feelings for you in the last month I’ve been assigned to you. I would much rather… protect you than hurt you. It certainly doesn’t help much that Malachite is extremely easy to get attached to just on her own.” She heaved a heavy sigh and ran a hand through her hair, trying to think on how she could continue  _ without _ screwing up what little momentum for talking she currently had. “I am aware that I will probably get into immense trouble for this, but I simply cannot bring myself to bring any harm to you or your daughter. Because you have wormed your way deep, deep into my heart. Which I was not previously sure was possible.”

Lapis stared at her for a while, blinking, before replying slowly. “So what you’re saying is; you fell in love with my and are now completely sacrificing your own wellbeing because of that, regardless of the fact that you might be destroyed for even considering any of this.”

“Essentially, yes.”

“That’s stupid!”

The sudden outburst made Peridot jump and stare at her with wide eyes, but she wasn’t given enough time to process it before the human started pacing and talking. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m  _ glad _ that you stopped trying to hurt me, but -- but it doesn’t make any  **sense** to just sacrifice your own future for some girl that you have a crush on! If I was your friend, I would be telling you that you’re being ridiculous -- well, I am your friend, so this  _ is ridiculous. _ You can’t just put yourself under a death sentence for me. You should be doing your job. Demons are supposed to be merciless.”

Peridot… did not understand. She thought that Lapis would be  _ happy _ that announcing her feelings had gone well, but she seemed… upset, and distressed. Did she honestly care about how things turned out for her that much? That was touching, if a little confusing and worrisome. “I know,” she replied, “but I must not be a very good demon. I  _ can’t _ hurt you, Lapis. I just can’t. It’s either I get destroyed for helping you, or I live in guilt for the rest of my existence for hurting you. Dying would be a little bit easier to handle, I think… because then I don’t have to be sad about subjecting you to an eternity in Hell. You wouldn’t… be able to get a demonic position like me, so you’d either be suffering for an eternity or get shoved into some desk job, which I know you would  **really** hate.”

“It’s not healthy to do this,” the girl responded, her voice in a bit of a hiss. “It’s not… it’s not a good sign that you’re willing to get yourself killed  _ just to keep me safe. _ I mean, it would be one thing if you hated your job, but you haven’t… mentioned anything like that to me, so I… don’t know. I just don’t know.” She stopped pacing to face her, arms crossed over her chest. “Like I said, I’m flattered and grateful that you decided to protect me and go against everything for me, but -- but giving up your identity for someone is not… it’s not fun. Or good for you.” Peridot could have sworn that Lapis’ blue gaze darted in the direction of Malachite’s bedroom momentarily.

“I’m  _ not _ giving up any part of myself to help you, Lapis!” The demon responded shrilly, shifting forward so that she could grab ahold of the human’s shoulders - and she didn’t flinch. She really  _ did _ have a lot of this mortal’s trust, didn’t she? “Fuck, I think I’m  _ finding it again _ because of you. I never… I was on autopilot for whatever amount of time I’ve been under Yellow Diamond’s thumb, and I never broke out of it, never realized what I was doing until I was assigned to you. I forgot who I  _ was, _ whoever I used to be before I was who I am now. Anything I ever did that wasn’t directly ordered was at the poking and prodding of one or two of my colleagues. I wasn’t an  _ individual, _ but I am now.”

“And apparently you’re an individual with a death wish!” The response was fired at her almost immediately, though Lapis made no move to get out of her grip. “I don’t want you to have to die for me, Peridot! We can’t end up together, so what’s the point in prolonging my life in the first place? Are you just trying to set yourself up for a long, long existence of being lonely if, by some miracle, you  _ don’t  _ get caught completely disregarding your job?” She seemed to be getting more and more distressed the longer she was allowed to ramble. Peridot needed to find some way to calm her down, make her stop--

She wasn’t sure exactly  _ what _ she was thinking, but instinct demanded that the demon grip the straps to the human’s tank top and pull her close, mashing their lips together sloppily. This seemed to be effective in getting Lapis to stop, because she shut up almost immediately, but she also tensed up and twitched as if she was going to jerk backwards. Peridot quickly let go of the straps, prepared to pull back and apologize profusely, but the moment she released the fabric, the blue haired girl put one hand on the back of her neck and pulled her a little closer, tilting her head to deepen the kiss.

All reason was forgotten as Peridot just let herself melt completely, hands drifting to grab onto the smaller being’s waist. She sighed softly through her nose and closed her eyes, not particularly wanting to pull away -- and she didn’t really need to breathe, so there was no necessity to. It wasn’t until Lapis pushed on her chest a little to get her away and take a deep breath that the demon remembered that  _ humans _ needed oxygen, and her forgetting made her face begin to burn up. “Are you okay?” She asked, a little worried by the way that the human was gasping for breath a little. A dark blush had taken over her cheeks, which only made Peridot’s deeper.

“Yeah, I’m just… we probably held that longer than we should have,” she responded breathlessly, ducking her head a bit and proceeding to look up at Peridot through dyed bangs. “It was… nice, though. I didn’t know you were such a good kisser. We’re going to have to do that again. If you want to, I mean.” She sheepishly tugged at a strand of her hair, and the demon decided that she was exceedingly, heartbreakingly adorable. It just wasn’t fair that such a small and weak being could steal her heart this thoroughly and make her completely abandon any sense of reason, but… she couldn’t bring herself to be bitter about it, especially considering what had just happened.

“I’d be fine with that,” was all the could really reply with, being quite a bit flustered and not particularly good with words to begin with. This state of chagrin was only made worse when Lapis moved forward to wrap her arms around her and looked up at her with a rather suggestive grin on her face, tilting her head. Oh, god, Peridot had to metaphorically beat down any lewd thoughts coming to mind with a broom.

“Maybe, eventually, we can work our way up to doing  _ other things.” _

“LEWD!” She shrieked, mortified -- judging by the giggles that overtook Lapis, this was quite amusing. “You don’t even need my guidance to end up in hell, I swear to Lucifer…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> theyre not actually gonna do the doodle yet that doesnt come until chapter 22
> 
> feedback appreciated!


	18. Jasper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A certain orange clod pays a visit and meets Malachite. More information on Blue Diamond is also revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY. FAIR WARNING. I am extremely out of practice with writing Jasper. I have barely touched up on writing her since June. So she might be a bit (or a lot) OOC.

Jasper had gotten fairly  _ concerned _ when she didn’t hear from Peridot for a while. She couldn’t really be classified as someone that was  **overprotective,** but she did care about the much younger demon as though she was a little sister - and a couple months might have been like the blink of an eye to a being that had been alive for  _ centuries, _ but she was fairly certain she knew that it had been longer than Peridot usually took to get rid of a target, and that had her worried. Humans may have been mere mortals with short as hell lifespans, but they did know some tricks that could get rid of demons if they figured out that one was around. Many a demon had been lost over the years to priests and demonologists, and that was part of the reason that it was rare to find the old and more scary methods of haunting and possessing; but Peridot had only been a demon for six months, and wasn’t nearly as experienced as she should have been to get a high profile human like Lapis Lazuli (seriously? The daughter of a demonologist  _ with _ a half demon child with her? It wasn’t uncommon for the mothers of hybrids to be haunted and killed, but it also wasn’t uncommon for said hybrid to lash out and kill the demon on the job).

So Jasper had gone into Peridot’s quarters in search of the space where she normally used a portal - they were difficult to find, because the younger being was normally exceedingly careful when it came to resealing, but not entirely impossible. As soon as the burly immortal had found the slightly torn area between dimensions, she stepped through without a problem, taking the dizziness that came with moving from Hell to the human realm with grace. She visited this  _ particular _ area often, so the change in atmosphere was a familiar one and not really a surprise. What  _ was _ kind of different was that she found herself in the bedroom of a child - evidently, the one that was the cause for the haunting - and that it was the middle of the night, according to the darkness enveloping the room and the analog clock on the wall reading three hours and five minutes. Normally, she showed up early in the evening or shortly after the night began… but whatever, it might be helpful if all the humans were asleep.

Though she knew that she probably ought to find her friend before she did anything else, she couldn’t help but be curious as to what the hybrid child looked like. Putting a bit of effort into blinking down the amber glow of her eyes, Jasper walked to the child’s bed with a quietness that would not be expected from someone so large - though all of her effort towards being subtle and silent was forgotten when she got a good look at the toddler’s face. She was familiar. How could she not be? Certainly, Jasper recognized her nose and the shape of her lips and the wild mane of pale hair around her head and the pale stripes against her dark skin - how could she not, considering she shared a similar appearance?

Large hands shifted around the child’s torso, and the demon lifted her to get a better look. Yes, this hybrid definitely was her biological offspring - there wasn’t even a way she could deny it by claiming that she was always safe. She wasn’t, she tended to get drunk and forget about it whenever she snuck into human parties or bars to bed a human. Shock gave way to horror - how could she have been so stupid, this thing might be dangerous to the balance - but  _ that _ gave way to a certain sense of… pride? The child might have been only a baby, but Jasper could tell that she would grow to be strongly built, and she wasn’t exactly an  _ ugly _ toddler - quite the opposite, she was actually pretty cute. But what else could be expected from something that  **she** had helped make?

Bright green eyes, dulled by sleep, blinked open to look her over. It must have taken a moment for the toddler to register her current situation, but when she did, she looked… terrified. Not that Jasper could blame her - biological parent or not, it must be pretty startling to wake up to find a massive beast of a demon holding you up. What wasn’t expected was when the child let out a shriek and began wriggling to get out of her grasp - shit, that would wake people up. Jasper let her go fairly easily, lowering her back onto the bed and taking several steps back, trying to assure the child that she wasn’t a threat. It must have worked, because her expression turned inquizitive and she simply stared down the demon as if trying to figure out who she was and why she was there.

Jasper had been about to speak - though she wasn’t sure what she was supposed to say to a toddler - but before she could say anything the door of the room slammed open and a very familiar tiny green demon rushed in. Well, that solved one problem. Peridot hurried over to the curious child and lifted her, holding her against her hip before turning to Jasper. The larger demon wondered why on earth the toddler was so trusting of the other, but she didn’t really care to ask for the moment.

“What are you  _ doing _ here?,” Peridot asked in a low hiss of a voice, green eyes squinting up at her. The child clung quietly to her, staring at Jasper with wide eyes and a minute frown on her chubby face. The larger demon couldn’t help but to focus more on the baby than on her friend - she was still slightly in awe. “I get that you’re a higher ranking demon and don’t get assignments as often as I do, but Lucifer, do you  _ really _ need to come and interfere with mine? I’m not a child. I can take care of myself.”

Amber eyes shifted back to Peridot when Jasper realized she probably ought to reply. “Well. I got worried. You might not be a child, but you  _ are _ inexperienced, and you’re in the home of a demonologist. I just wanted to make sure you’re alright,” She shrugged, and judging by the expression that crossed over the green demon’s face, she hadn’t been aware of Blue Diamond’s profession. If not for the knowledge that she  _ should _ have been given, Jasper would understand - to her knowing, the woman tended to lay low and ignore almost everyone. As it stood, though, she was a bit frustrated that Yellow Diamond had not told her  _ everything _ that she needed to know about this job. “Is she mine?,” she asked as an add on question when she didn’t get a reply, gesturing to the small human still clinging to the shorter demon.

“Malachite is Lapis’s,” Peridot replied nonchalantly when she came out of whatever shock must have overwhelmed her, shifting the child a little. Ah. So Malachite was her name - it was an alright one, she supposed. Fitting. “But what do you mean, the home of a demonologist? Lapis is a college student. She isn’t even  _ studying _ demonology. And I’m fairly certain it couldn’t be her mother - she’s home most of the time, and even if she wasn’t she doesn’t seem like the sort of human to be an exorcist.”

She sort of remembered the name Lapis - she could kind of associate it with a human party maybe two years previously, but she could mostly just remember a blurred petite girl that had been surprisingly good at… what they had done that night. But the alcohol she had consumed at the time served to make it difficult to actually recall the human. “Blue Diamond was fairly well known in the eighties,” she replied simply with a shrug. “She was kind of the non religious backup for Ed and Lorraine Warren. As far as I know, she’s still in the business, but a lot less than she used to be. Retired unless it’s an emergency, or something like that.”

“How do you  _ know _ that?”

“We’re demons, Dot, we kind of need to be well educated as far as who could kill us goes. Remind me to teach you about some demonologists after your assignment kills herself.”

Malachite seemed fairly confused, looking back and forth between Peridot and Jasper. She probably didn’t understand a word of what was going on, but she could most likely tell that it was bad, because she had tightened her grip on the younger demon and looked concerned. Smart kid. As for Peridot, she laughed slightly - nervously - and rubbed the back of her head with her free hand. “Yeah, about that,” she spoke slowly, glancing away and staring at the wall, “I’ve kind of decided not to deplete the mental health of Lapis Lazuli. Not do my job. I’m, uh, trusting you to not tell Yellow Diamond.”

Well, Jasper wasn’t as  _ upset _ as she supposed Peridot must have been expecting, but she was… shocked. She didn’t thoroughly understand why the smaller demon would want to just turn her back on everything that either of them knew, as sensitive as the subject of suicide and mental health could be - both of them had caused a few deaths, after all, and neither had a problem with it beforehand. But she supposed that the younger being could have a choice in what was happening - hell, almost admired her for finding her free will again. “Am I allowed to ask  _ why?” _

“I have found that the human is… very  _ alluring, _ and I feel that it would be a waste of her potential and presence to just drive her down into a deep hole and get her to kill herself,” Peridot kept her chin up, and spoke in a professional tone despite the cyan blush appearing on her cheeks. “I would rather have me face punishment than have her die, but I am keeping up the cover of doing the assignment for the sake of preventing more powerful demons from coming after her and for the sake of continuing to have her for company. I enjoy being in her presence. I think she’s great. I don’t want to hurt her.”

“So you’re keeping her for sex.”

_ “Stars, _ no, Jasper! We have not engaged in intercourse yet, and I don’t really want to just now. I don’t think she does, either. She says that she doesn’t want to do it with anyone until she gets married because last time she did she wound up getting pregnant. I mean, sex would be… a nice bonus, but I just enjoy her as a person. I would like to help her rather than hurt her,” her face was bright blue, which Jasper found somewhat amusing despite not being able to understand what exactly she was talking about. “I do experience an… attraction to Lapis Lazuli, but it is a romantic one moreso than sexual.”

There was a long pause, in which the brutish demon stared at her smaller counterpart for a few moments. She could tell that Peridot was squirming slightly under the scrutinization, though Malachite seemed to be getting less cautious and more just curious as time went on, the look in her eyes one of wonder instead of fear - which Jasper was kind of glad for, she didn’t want her own offspring to be afraid of her. “I didn’t know it was possible for a demon to experience romantic feelings, but I… guess I’m happy for you. I won’t interfere with you doing as you want, and maybe I’ll even help cover for you to Yellow Diamond, on a few conditions.”

Green eyes squinted into an inquizitive and suspecting glare, as if the smaller being didn’t entirely trust her - she supposed she didn’t blame her all that much. “And what would those conditions be?,” she asked slowly, cautiously, though the older of the two could tell that she would most likely accept. It wasn’t like she was about to ask for something insane.

“Let me come and go as I please for as long as you’re here. I won’t do much, just check up on you and the child and maybe make sure that the demonologist doesn’t hurt or suspect you. And I want you to get some information about Malachite’s other biological parent. I think it’s probably me, but I’d like a confirmation so if I’m wrong I don’t look like a  _ complete _ idiot.”

“You  _ are _ a complete idiot,” Peridot countered, turning a bit to carefully lower Malachite back on the bed and tuck her back in. Jasper could tell from her relieved tone that she wasn’t going to get turned down, and that was confirmed moments later. “But alright, I accept. As long as you don’t  _ directly _ interact with Lapis. I know you, and you’re nasty as hell.”

“You wound me,” the older demon replied in a mock offended tone, though the had an amused look on her face. “But yeah, that sounds reasonable enough.”

“What makes you think she’s  _ yours?” _

The question was enough to make Jasper roll her eyes. For someone so observant and knowledgeable, Peridot certainly was clueless. “Dot, look at her face, then look at me. Does anything at all seem similar? Even a  _ little?” _

The younger demon rolled her eyes and studied her for a moment, then turned to look at Malachite. It took about ten seconds for her to piece together what was similar between the two, and when it finally clicked she practically jumped, whirling back to Jasper with wide eyes. “Oh, my Satan, she has the same nose as you. And the stripes, and lips, and hair.”

The older immortal nodded, crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow. “So? What do you think?”

“... You’re probably her biological parent, yeah.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow this only took me three days to get done
> 
> Comments would be appreciated!


	19. Not As Far Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot and Jasper talk. Also, Garnet is there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've never been any good at writing Garnet for which I apologize.

“Are you sure you’ll be alright on your own for a few hours?,” Lapis asked, and Peridot was genuinely having a hard time not rolling her eyes. She’d been the one to insist that the demon watch Malachite while she was out practicing her surfing, for Lucifer’s sake, and if the green being was honest she was a little aggravated that the young mother had not completely thought the whole thing through before asking. And also maybe a little bit that she was doubting Peridot’s ability to watch a one year old hybrid that was intelligent for her age and pretty easy to take care of depending on her mood.

“Lapis. You’ll be home in time to feed her and put her to bed. All I need to do is play with her and give her a snack. I promise, it’ll be fine,” the demon replied impatiently, crossing her arms and leaning against the doorway slightly. “She likes me, I like her, I know what she needs, and I know how to take care of children. Everything is going to be fine, I promise,” She added, deciding to add on a bit of physical reassurance by stepping forward to gently wrap her arms around her human lover. Mortals liked being hugged to let them know for sure that things would be fine, right?

Her theory was proven correct with maybe a  _ little _ bit of smugness when Lapis hugged back, resting her head on Peridot’s shoulder. “Okay, okay, I trust you,” she grumbled in response, and Peridot didn’t need to look at her to know that she was sticking out her tongue slightly. “Just don’t give her too many snacks, or she won’t eat her dinner. Don’t let her eat any sugar after three. I’ll probably be back by three thirty, if I’m not, feel free to take her down to the beach too.”

“Sounds good to me,” the demon gently kissed her lover’s cheek, pulling out of the embrace to lightly ruffle her hair. “You should probably get going. You’re burning valuable daylight standing around worrying about whether I’m actually a capable babysitter or not.”

“Are you trying to get rid of me?,” The teenager asked with a small scoff, rolling her eyes but retrieving her beach bag from the ground anyway. She lightly poked Peridot’s chest before giving her a short but sweet kiss on the lips. “Thanks for agreeing to take care of her, though. I know you’re probably not all that comfortable with small human children, so it means a lot to me.”

_ Half-human, _ the demon corrected internally, but gave a fanged (and hopefully charming) smile despite her internal wish to be a nuisance. “It’s not bad, really. She’s more mature than some of the demons I’ve met while actually doing my job,” She… honestly wasn’t lying. Some of her coworkers threw more temper tantrums in one hour than Malachite did in a single day, and others - she resisted the urge to turn slightly and shoot Jasper, who was currently invisible to Lapis, a look - were just massive annoyances half the time that made her afterlife more difficult than it really needed to be.

“If you say so,” Lapis shrugged, and gave her one last tight squeeze before walking out the door and closing it behind her. Peridot watched her go and continued smiling at the door for a few seconds, and when she was certain that the human wouldn’t turn around and walk back into the house, she turned on her heel and walked briskly past Jasper and out of the kitchen. It was not difficult to find Malachite; she was still where she had been earlier, sitting on her bedroom floor playing with her stuffed shark and a surfer Barbie doll. Peridot was always surprised by how gentle the toddler was with her toys; so unlike most human children, who had a tendency to rip apart every item they owned and toss it to the side before demanding a replacement. Not at all what she would expect from the offspring of Jasper and the feisty human that had stolen her heart, either… though she supposed the babe would grow up to become just as quick tempered as either of them could be. Which meant there was time to enjoy her current state of being a quiet, peaceful, and amicable child before everything went awry.

“So how long, exactly, do you plan on keeping this up?,” She heard aforementioned older demon ask behind her as she lifted Malachite to rest on her hip. The toddler whined slightly in protest, unhappy that her game was interrupted, but continued playing with the toys with her body twisted slightly so she was facing away from Peridot. “You can’t keep doing this forever. Yellow Diamond is going to actually send somebody to check on you eventually, and then you’ll be thrown into Tartarus with someone not nearly so soft being sent here as your replacement. All you’re doing is delaying the inevitable and making things more painful for everyone involved.”

“I can try,” the smaller demon replied with a small amount of disgruntled determination, puffing her cheeks out slightly. “I know I  _ probably _ can’t keep this up forever, and that’s why I intend to find some way to… quit being a demon. I don’t enjoy my job all that much anyway. And I’m going to find it impossible to do without feeling bad if I manage to live past this particular assignment.”

Jasper simply blinked at her, studying her closely, and for just a moment Peridot had to wonder how much intelligence the brute was hiding under her bravado and muscles. The larger immortal stepped forward so that she was towering over her companion, and the green being had to remind herself that Jasper was her friend and didn’t want to bring her any harm, because damn if every inch of her body didn’t want to shrink away from someone so much huger than her. “You really like her, don’t you?,” She finally asked, and to Peridot’s relief there wasn’t any anger in her voice.

“Yeah. I do. I’d rather protect her than hurt her. I’ve said that before,” She replied, shifting Malachite in her arms slightly. “I know being cruel and coldhearted and everything like that comes with the job. But I don’t think I can bring myself to do that anymore. And I think only part of that is because of Lapis, but most if it is just something I  _ feel _ deep inside. Is that normal? Is it… healthy? I mean, has every demon felt like that at one point or another or am I defective?”

The brute didn’t answer her for a long while again, but did reach past her to gently pluck Malachite from her arms and place the toddler on her shoulders. Said baby squealed slightly, frustrated, and banged on one of Jasper’s curled horns with her Barbie, but quickly went back to playing - this time using her biological parent’s head as a table of sorts. Peridot couldn’t help but feel mildly offended and betrayed, but she settled for crossing her arms and squinting, waiting for an answer.

“No, it doesn’t make you defective,” The older of the two finally spoke, seemingly not noticing or just ignoring the small blows to the cranium she was receiving. “It makes you less far gone than the rest of us. You’re still a pretty new demon. Six months in the afterlife, max - I know it feels like longer, but that’s just because time doesn’t exist when you’re rotting in hell. You haven’t had as many assignments as a seasoned demon, and you haven’t been made numb to most long lasting bittersweet emotions. Love is definitely bittersweet, and it’s what you’re feeling,” she explained with a simple shrug, shifting the toddler on her shoulders slightly but not enough to disturb her. “There’s a way to make yourself a human again, if that’s what you really want. I’ve never been interested in it, but I know how it works. If you want, I can explain in the other room - I don’t think the kiddo should hear it.”

Peridot was stunned for several long seconds, but eventually nodded in response. Jasper removed Malachite from her shoulders and placed her back on the bedroom floor - the toddler was rather pleased about being returned to where she could reach the rest of her toys - and began leaving the room, gesturing for the green immortal to follow. She did, trailing after Jasper with more than a little bit of curiosity and maybe just the slightest spark of hope in her chest.

* * *

 

Malachite was used to getting left behind so grown-ups could talk. It was far from a new experience - Rose did it all the time, her mama and Peridot were  _ always _ having grown-up talk, even the nice ladies at the daycare did occasionally and came out smelling kind of funny (like grapes, sort of) - so she didn’t really mind. If anything, she was kind of happy that now her dolls could talk in peace!

It didn’t take her very long, though, to get a funny feeling on her back - like something was watching her from behind. She puffed her little cheeks out and tried to continue playing unperturbed, but the feeling was just too much to keep her from getting distracted. For Pete’s sake, she just wanted to have fun with Sharkie and Barbie, but it seemed like that was too much to ask for. With her chubby arms crossed, she quickly got to her feet and quickly turned around to find out who was being rude.

It was a tall woman with dark skin and big hair, standing in the corner of her bedroom. Strangers always made her nervous, but something about this lady told Malachite that she was alright and probably wasn’t going to hurt her - even though she was tall and quiet. If anything, the toddler found it ridiculous and silly that she was wearing sunglasses inside! “‘S rood stare,” She calmly informed the stranger - her mama always told her that she wasn’t supposed to stare at people, so she didn’t see why it should be okay for a grown up to do it.

“Of course it is, I’m sorry,” the woman replied in an emotionless voice with a thick accent. She walked over to Malachite and sat down in front of her, picking up her Barbie and looking at the doll for a moment. “I was just curious. Can I play with you for a little while?”

“Mama says not s’pposed to play wit’ strangers,” the hybrid replied uneasily - she didn’t think she needed to be scared of this tall woman, but her mama only made smart rules that made sense. She wasn’t supposed to talk to or play with strangers because they might take her away and she’d never get to go home. The only exception to this rule were kids, police officers, and babysitters - and while Malachite liked breaking rules and taking risks (mainly by playing after her mama had read her story and said goodnight), she didn’t want to get taken away and never see her family again.

“I’m not a stranger,” the stranger spoke with a small, almost undetectable, smile. “I live next door, with Steven and Greg and Rose. Your mother just can’t see me, that’s all - and usually, I stay out of your way. My name is Garnet. Don’t tell your mama, but I’m a guardian angel.”

Oh! Well, angels were trustworthy, right? They must be, because Malachite had never heard a bad thing about a guardian angel. “Never me’ angel b’fore.”

“We’re not supposed to let humans know we exist.”

“Why?”

“They wouldn’t understand. Just like how your grandma wouldn’t understand about Peridot or Jasper. We’re frightening to grown-ups, because we’re powerful.”

“Oh. No’ danger?”

“Not to people who are good.”

“‘M I good?”

“Yes, Malachite, you’re a very good girl.”

Malachite beamed with pride, hugging her stuffed shark tightly to her chest and giggling happily. This lady was nice! She was pleasantly surprised.

As she found out over the next ten or so minutes, though, Garnet wasn’t as good at pretending as she was at being nice. She was kind of - what was the word? - dry, and not very skilled at playing Barbie. Malachite didn’t mind, though - she was mostly just glad to have a friend, and some of the other kids in her daycare weren’t all that great at playing dolls, either. The angel lady at least got the basics and was nice to Sharkie instead of making Barbie be mean to him.

“Have Jasper or Peridot hurt you?,” Garnet asked suddenly, catching the toddler slightly off guard and confusing her a little. Their game halted, she tilted her head and hugged her shark - he always made her feel better about things she didn’t understand.

“No. Nice,” She replied quickly and honestly - Peridot was nice and fun (albeit really gross and kissy around her mama for some reason the last few days) and Jasper was strong and warm and apparently her other mama. Were they  _ supposed _ to hurt her? If they were, then they were doing a pretty lousy job! “Fun n’ nice,” she reaffirmed with a nod and a look almost comical on a face so young.

“I see,” the angel replied with a small nod, then gently ruffled her hair. “I need to go, but I’ll come and visit you again to make sure you’re still being a good girl,” She stated, and Malachite was briefly kind of disappointed that her new friend was leaving so soon. “Make sure you let me know if either of them tries to do anything that hurts you or your mother, okay? And don’t tell them that I talked to you. They don’t like angels very much.”

Malachite furrowed her little brow in confusion, but nodded seriously. She didn’t understand why there was such a need to not tell anybody about Garnet, but she would make sure she didn’t! She was the best in her class at keeping secrets, after all. The angel smiled, stepped back, and seemed to disappear into thin air, which only befuddled the poor toddler even further. What was  _ with _ people and suddenly disappearing lately!

Peridot and Jasper walked back into the room not long after Garnet had left, and the look of deep thought on the green demon’s face only got her even more confused. Nobody told her anything that made sense anymore, and that frustrated her!

Hopefully, she’d eventually get answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pls don't hate me for coming up with loopholes that my characters can dive through. I like me a happy ending, because life is bleak enough without me making fiction edgy and dark too.
> 
> Comments would be much appreciated if you have the time.


	20. Late Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just because it's almost midnight doesn't mean you can't have discussions about the future and a borderline unnecessary amount of fluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took so long

It would never not be odd to Lapis that she could feel so safe, so serene, when she was held close to a demon. Sleepiness weighed down her eyelids and a clawed hand was gently stroking her hair, Peridot warm and soft underneath her and feeling more like home than anything else. The only reason she was still awake at all and had not yet succumbed to the calm surrounding her was the simple, stubborn goal of staying up until the clock struck midnight and her eighteenth birthday had finally arrived. Considering it was what she had been waiting for the better portion of her life, the teenager was unmoving in her efforts to be conscious when she became a legal adult despite the demon explaining to her several times that it really wasn’t all that big of a change and she needed her sleep.

Silence was what held in the room now, though, Lapis half believing that Peridot had fallen asleep - the steadiness of her breathing was almost unnatural with the constant state of anxiety the immortal lived in, and the beating of a heart the human was still surprised existed was faint and relaxed. This was rare, and it was nice - she promised herself she’d commit this to memory. Remember this moment of calm when everything went to hell… quite literally.

“You’ve already hit the major milestones that most adults look forward to,” the demon spoke softly, still stroking her hair - Peridot’s voice was sleepy, lazy, and soothing to Lapis in the most strange of ways. Maybe it was the familiarity and the relief that she had somebody that she genuinely believed cared. “You’ve gone to college, you’ve gotten drunk on at least one occasion, you have a kid. I don’t really understand why you’re being so stubborn about staying awake.”

The bluenette didn’t care to lift her head and check the clock. She knew it wasn’t midnight yet if the immortal was talking to her, and she was far too tired to do so any time before her goal. “It’s all about the concept,” she replied, and was almost embarrassed by the slur of tiredness that coated her words. “I’m about to be an  _ adult. _ It’s about to be legal for me to move out of this town, have sex, buy cigarettes, whatever I want. It’s like I’m tricking myself into this illusion that I’m about to be free, even though I don’t intend to move out, promised myself I’d never smoke, and don’t really wanna have a one night stand ever again. My last one ended  _ wonderfully, _ after all.”

Lapis heard Peridot snort and lightly brush her lips against her hairline. She didn’t mind; if anything, the affection made a smug little smile appear across her lips as she shifted back into the immortal slightly. The being responded by moving her arms to around Lapis’ waist, burying her face in her hair. The position was intimate, but not invasive; more welcome than anything else. She’d only known the immortal for a couple of months, but the human was already more comfortable around her than she had been with anyone else in her life… she hated to think it might be temporary.

“Were you ever human?,” she asked groggily, opening her eyes in order to look up at her lover as best she could. A small frown appeared on Peridot’s face, and she almost felt guilty for asking, but she was curious. Tiredness pretty much murdered any sort of censor she had over what was appropriate to ask anyway; hopefully the question didn’t force the demon to relive any negative memories.

Silence passed for a time, arms tightening slightly around her middle as the immortal thought. Lapis felt a pang of guilt, wondering if she had gone too far with the question, but her fears were assuaged rather easily when the inquiry was answered. “Yes,” was the simple word spoken as Peridot shifted her legs so that she completely enveloped the human. Said teenager wondered if the demon thought of her as something fragile and breakable; her life was so delicate and could be ended so easily, after all. “I was a human once, then I died and went to Hell. I don’t really remember how I got my job as a demon, but, well, here I am.” Her grip shifted slightly, and Lapis assumed it was because she had shrugged. She sounded so nonchalant about it…

Unfortunately, the human’s curiosity was only heightened, and she turned over a bit so that she could better study her lover’s face. She hesitated for a little while before asking, “How did you die? And how old were you? I mean, if you don’t mind me asking. You seem to be really young, so I don’t really understand how you could’ve gotten into Hell unless you did something really, seriously bad and never had enough time to make up for it. It’s weird.”

Lapis felt Peridot tense under her, and almost felt a little guilty at having asked the question - asking how somebody died was probably impolite, wasn’t it? She was about to quickly announce that the demon didn’t have to answer and she was sorry for inquiring, but before she could develop any actual words the immortal responded with an almost eerie lack of emotion. “I don’t remember. I have little bits and pieces of memories from when I was human, but my death evades me. Most of my recollection is really dark and murky anyways - kind of like trying to look around underwater in a dirty pond.”

“You’d get pond muck in your eyes,” the human responded sleepily, turning over so that she was laying on her stomach and burying her face in the crook of the demon’s neck. Peridot was warm; her body temperature was higher than that of a human for some reason, making her feel like a space heater stuffed inside of a teddy bear. Though it was making it harder to stay awake, Lapis loved it; she wished she could remain snuggled up to her supernatural lover for the rest of her life.

“I was just trying to make it easier for your dull human mind to understand, you clod,” the immortal responded with a huff. The statement might have been meant to be hurtful, but it was difficult to detect any sort of ill will in Peridot’s voice; though whether that was because she was Peridot or because she was fond of her, Lapis couldn’t tell. She was too tired to really care, really… and the warmth and serenity of the night was beginning to make it even more difficult for her to stay awake.

Silence enveloped them for a little while, and the human relaxed, listening to the ticking of the clock combined with both of their soft breathing and the cold, cruel November air outside the window. There was supposed to be a storm overnight, which Lapis supposed was only fitting considering it was her birthday and she had always been referred to as a contained storm. She wondered if it would snow; that would be the earliest it had happened in a while, and would also mean that she couldn’t go out and surf in the ocean until it started getting warm again.

“So, since you’re so  _ stubbornly _ refusing sleep and I’m pretty sure you’re tired enough that you’ll forget all this by morning, there’s something I want to tell you,” Peridot spoke suddenly, and Lapis’ interest was piqued. She shifted again so that she could look at the demon and let her know that she was paying attention. “It turns out that there’s a way for me to stop being a demon, since I apparently haven’t been dead for very long. It’s a little bit of a long shot, but if I can manage to get my way, then we can be together  _ without _ the whole problem of me being here to make you kill yourself.”

Lapis managed, with a bit of effort, to blink away some of the tiredness from her mind. She needed to formulate an intelligent response, which would probably be more than a little difficult if she was stuck in a half awake state. “If you only want to do it so we can be together, then I don’t think you should,” she spoke, cautiously and slowly. “I mean, I’m still really young. I don’t want you to go ahead and make a huge decision that will impact the rest of your existence based around a relationship that could possibly end at any given moment. We might fall out of love, and then you’ll be stuck back in a human body and probably on the bad side of Satan himself. Not that I don’t  _ want _ to be with you, of course, I  _ do, _ but… neither of us should shape our lives around our relationship.”

Peridot snorted, leading the human to wonder what, exactly, was so funny about what she’d just said. This was an entirely serious matter; she didn’t see any reason to be amused! “Lapis, I know, I’m not stupid. I don’t just want to go back to being human for  _ you. _ It’s also because I want another chance, to do something actually decent and  _ not _ do whatever got me killed. I don’t… actually like being a demon all that much. I screw one thing up and it’s either the destruction or my soul or eternal suffering. My afterlife is a constant dreary stream of wandering from one morally dead job to the next. Not to mention I really can’t stand my boss anymore. It would be better for me if I left.”

Lapis huffed a little, but she supposed she couldn’t argue with that. She rose slightly to her hands and knees, shivering slightly at the sudden loss of the heat against her skin, and studied the demon closely for a little while. Peridot was looking at her with a small smile, nothing but honesty (and was that adoration?) in her eyes. A brief thought that ran through the human’s head was that the immortal looked adorable without her glasses; but at least she was being honest with her, that was all she really wanted.

She lowered her face so that she could press her lips against Peridot’s, a soft kiss that began getting a little bit hungrier and more rough as it went on. Clawed hands reached, one arm wrapping around her waist and the opposite hand burying itself in her hair. Lapis shivered ever so slightly as she allowed herself to lower down, pressing her body up against the demon’s as the kiss progressed. When she was this tired, the physical affection felt… excessively nice, to put it lightly, and she was beginning to find herself overwhelmed by some rather impure desires.

Before she could actually initiate anything, though, the immortal broke the kiss. The human made a vague frustrated noise, but admitted defeat rather easily and thudded her head against the other being’s sternum. “You’re not eighteen  _ yet _ ,” Peridot scoffed, and even though she was annoyed Lapis could appreciate that she continued holding her close. “Besides, you’re too tired to really do anything risque… and I thought you were waiting until marriage to have sex again?”

“I was  _ joking, _ you egg,” the human grumbled, though she was able to nestle herself back into a resting position rather easily. She  **was** tired, she couldn’t really deny that, so it was probably best for her to just get some sleep instead of complaining and trying to get laid.

Lapis loosely wrapped her arms around Peridot and closed her eyes, feeling the heavy numbness of sleep approach her. She could vaguely feel a pair of lips brush against the top of her head, scarcely hear her lover’s voice announce to her that it was her birthday, before the deep and dreamless void enveloped itself in her grip and brought her into whatever rest she would be able to achieve until the chaos that had become her life caught up with her once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> damn lapi back at it again with the run on sentences
> 
> Comments would be appreciated!


	21. That's a Sin, You Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS: Sexual content, tentadick, and rough sex towards the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HHHHAH i was gonna make this short but well here we are

Lapis had gone through her day with an end goal in mind. That wasn't to say it wasn't pleasant – no, she had taken Peridot and Malachite around the town, watching some animated movie she didn't care much for in the theater, getting lunch at some nice restaurant after and then spending a few hours at the beach letting the toddler play in the shallow water and building sand castles. Lapis Lazuli's eighteenth birthday had been nice, maybe even great, and she was a little sad when the sun started going down after dinner... but for the most part, she was filled with the determination (and thirst) needed to approach Peridot and get what she wanted. So immediately after Malachite's story was read and she was tucked in and asleep, the human marched over to her room.

Conveniently enough, Peridot was laying on the bed, reading a book on demonology that had been hidden on the top shelf of her closet for God knows how long. The bluenette had to wonder why the hell a demon would be reading a book about her kind and the dangers they presented – maybe to laugh at any existing errors in the text, or some other way to derive some amusement? Or maybe she was curious about the ways she could be killed by measly humans. Honestly, Lapis didn't know, and she couldn't bring herself to care.

She flopped on top of her lover, causing the immortal to make a small noise of annoyance and close the book, setting it on the bedside table and giving Lapis the most unamused look that the human had ever seen. “I'm reading,” she stated in an annoyed tone as if the other hadn't known. “Couldn't you have asked me to put down the book so I can cuddle or whatever it is you want from me?”

“No,” the mortal responded, lifting her upper half in order to stick her tongue out. Peridot rolled her eyes in response, and she took that opportunity to catch her off guard and press their lips together in a somewhat heated and definitely hungry kiss. The demon tensed under her slightly, surprised, but quickly sighed into the contact and returned the kiss – a little more gently than Lapis would have liked, but at least she was reciprocating and not pushing her off. That would have been embarrassing and guilt inducing.

It was only when she remembered she needed air that she pulled away, but when she did, she shifted a little so that she was straddling her lover's hips. Peridot's cheeks had flushed the brightest cerulean Lapis had ever seen on her, and it was both entertaining and very, very attractive. “You stopped me last night,” she explained softly, leaning over to lightly kiss just below the demon's ear. “So, if you want to, I'd really like to mess around tonight. Since it's my birthday and I'm curious about what kinda junk demons have.” The human then hesitated, waiting for a confirmation or a no.

Peridot was silent, blushing so hard that Lapis could practically feel the extra heat radiating off of her and a bit of a shocked look on her face. Feeling guilty, the human began to back off, muttering an apology, when she suddenly felt the back of her neck grabbed and her lips being occupied once more. She made a soft mewling noise into the kiss, tilting her head slightly for easier access and sighing through her nose as the demon's tongue prodded for entrance into her mouth. She permitted it, parting her lips slightly and hooking her arms around the immortal's neck as a rather sloppy makeout followed – try as she might to act almost excessively in control and initiate things, Lapis was more than a little submissive.

It was nice to let her guard down for something so intimate.

She didn't notice that Peridot was flipping their positions until she felt her back hit the mattress and the kiss needed to be released again so she could gasp for breath. They hadn't even started doing anything sexual, and she was already turned on and getting wet – she supposed that was embarrassing, but considering it had been two years since she had really gotten any and more than one since she'd had the time to actually pleasure herself, she couldn't really blame herself all that easily. Even if she _was_ a little afraid of being teased.

She hadn't really noticed how desperate she was, though, and it only intensified when the demon hooked one clawed finger under the strap of the tank top she wore to bed. “Alright,” Peridot spoke with a small smirk on her face, “but since it's your birthday and this is your gift, I'll be the one taking care of you. Just take it easy, unless you have something else in mind.” A chaste kiss on the forehead followed, the demon smirking slightly.

Oh, how the tables had been turned. Lapis gave a soft, strangled squeak in response instead of the affirmative answer she had wanted, and instead just nodded, face burning dark red. The immortal responded by leaning over and gently kissing her again – though this time, while the lip contact wasn't as rough, Peridot gently ran her hands over Lapis' body, trying to locate a weak spot, somewhere that would make her squirm. And, god, was she good at it, the anticipation turning the human on to begin with and the hands on her soft skin only making it worse – she wanted... _needed..._ her demonic lover to fuck her already. It was almost embarrassing how desperate she was for some action.

She could, at least, find it in her to be affected when the ripping of fabric brought her attention to the fact that her tank top had been unceremoniously ripped off. Even then, though, she was more annoyed than angry – she never wore that shirt out of the house anyway, and now she was wearing nothing but a pair of pajama pants and her (rapidly wetting) panties. She would chew Peridot out in the morning, when she had been satisfied and they were both rested up – which was just a gentler way of saying she was just going to let it slide.

A more feral side of her lover that she had never seen before that day began becoming known to her. Peridot growled hungrily against her lips, pulling out of the kiss in order to pepper pecks up and down her neck, and god, did it ever feel good. Sharp teeth bit down on her neck, not quite hard enough to draw blood but with just enough pressure to make Lapis let out a surprised and pained squeal that quickly turned into a soft, wanton moan when the demon sucked on the affected skin. That would leave a mark, thank God it was turtleneck season and she could hide it without dying in the sweltering heat. Besides, as the demon made more and more marks along her tanned skin, the human was only becoming more turned on.

While she worked, Peridot shifted off of Lapis' hips in order to tug down her panties and pants. The mortal in question blushed heavily under the scrutinization of the other being, but now that her arousal had been bared she almost missed the small amount of friction her underwear had supplied her with. Her hips twitched slightly, and she sighed quietly with a small shudder as the immortal gently ran a claw over her womanhood. “You're wet already,” she commented as if it wasn't already obvious, studying the small amount of fluid that had gotten onto her finger before licking it off rather calmly, and fuck, if she hadn't been attractive already that certainly was. Her pride barely managing to beat down the urge to beg, Lapis pouted at her lover, blue eyes widening into a pleading look.

“I do like the taste of you, though,” the demon spoke calmly, and the human had to wonder if she was casting some spell or some shit to keep herself stoic – or maybe if she was just the one being thirsty. Either one was plausible, really; and her thoughts were cut off again when the demon suddenly began kissing down her chest, biting once on the underside of her breast and making her whine desperately. Peridot then proceeded to take one hardened nipple in her mouth and nibble on the nub lightly, making Lapis cry out slightly and squirm – her breasts were sensitive and _god damn it_ that felt _so good._

The demon picked her up slightly and rested her so that her arousal was pressed against her thigh, and the human made a noise that came out sounding almost strangled – she'd forgotten how _good_ it felt to be stimulated, and that resulted in her grinding against Peridot's thigh, moaning in pleasure at the excessively good sensations running from her clit and up her spine.

When she started thinking that it couldn't possibly get any better, the demon returned to paying attention to Lapis' nipples while still letting her pleasure herself against her knee. Peridot lightly sucked on one hardened nub, lightly swirling it in her mouth, and used one hand to lightly pinch and tug at the opposite breast. The human was wheezing with the occasional whimper or whine escaping her lips, and she began grinding just a little bit harder against the immortal's thigh. It was overwhelming and good, good, God was it ever good; she was just barely aware of the warm coil beginning to clench in her lower gut and recognize her quickly approaching release.

Her orgasm was sudden and took both of them off guard, the human letting out a strangled cry and arching her back. She continued to hump her lover's leg, shaking and gasping and whining with every shockwave of pleasure that ran across her body, from her clit to the tips of her toes to her chest and head and leaving a tingling sensation in her limbs as it started to fade away. She slumped against her lover and was about to thank her and sing her praises to the heavens, but before she could, she was pushed back to lay against the bed once more. Blinking in surprise, she watched the demon for a moment in confusion.

“Are you okay to keep going?,” Peridot asked, laying down so that her head was between the mortal's thighs. Lapis was a little shocked – never before had she had multiple orgasms in one go – but her arousal hadn't disappeared very much, and it was only getting stronger with every moment that the other being stayed there. So she murmured a soft affirmation in order to communicate her consent, spreading her legs widely and sitting up – she couldn't recall every having been eaten out before, so she was simultaneously curious and ridiculously turned on and _definitely_ ready to continue.

Peridot lightly gripped her hips, nails digging into the skin slightly in order to keep Lapis skilled. She lightly kissed and harshly bit at the insides of her thighs, making the human squeal in pleasured pain and support herself on her elbows. Her hips twitched, and she burned for friction, but she dared not try to break the immortal's hold – it was clear that she meant to restrain her, and oddly enough, the human was excited by that.

She wasn't really ready for the strange but _definitely_ enjoyable sensation of a slick tongue gliding over her slit and folds, but she let out a shaky moan that only increated in volume when the immortal flicked the tip of her tongue against her clit. Lips wrapped around the sensitive bud and gave a soft suck, tongue continuing to massage the bundle of nerves, and the human was practically incomprehensible in her whining and babbling, struggling to keep her squirming at a minimum despite the almost overwhelming stimulation.

The demon could sink two clawed fingers into her with ease, and the human squealed, hips twitching slightly. Peridot hummed a bit against her, causing vibrations that made Lapis let out a quiet sob of overwhelming pleasure. She was already close enough that all it took was a couple of thrusts of the digits and the light scraping of nails against the rough patch near her entrance to make her orgasm a second time, even harder than the first. She cried out softly, hips futilely humping her lover's hand and face until the climax ebbed away and she was left feeling kind of tired.

However, the first thing that crossed her mind was that she probably ought to return the favor.

Lapis sat up shakily; her legs kind of felt like jelly and she wanted to keep laying down, but a small bulge in the crotch of Peridot's jumpsuit caught her attention. She blinked and tilted her head, surprised but not really discouraged – if her lover had a dick, then fine, she wasn't really off put by that. She could ride perfectly fine; she had to have before, considering she had a daughter. “Looks like you could use a little help,” she commented simply, gesturing to said bulge with a small grin on her face.

Peridot blushed bright cyan, but she did get up and ease herself out of her bodysuit. Lapis was shocked momentarily and couldn't do much but stare... of all the things she had expected to see, a tentacle certainly was not among them.

It was dark green, ridged, and a little thick, writhing in search of friction and soaking itself in slick cyan lubricant liquid. The human could only assume that was the tentadick equivalent of what an erection looked like.

Lapis had never considered the idea that she might be into tentacle sex, but the idea of having that inside of her mainly served to make her wetter. She really had no clue what to say, so she chose to pull her lover onto the bed, flipping their positions so that she was on top, sitting on her thighs so that the tentacle was just out of reach of her warm and ready heat. “So, were you a weaboo when you were human, by any chance?,” she asked simply, studying the appendage and trying to figure out how exactly it worked – was it like a regular dick, just wriggly and wet? She hoped so, because this would get kind of awkward kind of fast.

“I've told you, I don't remember anything about --,” the demon began to respond, but was cut off rather effectively by a thin hand gently stroking her tentacle. She relented with a shuddering moan, which the human caught rather easily with a kiss. Lapis gently wrapped her hand into a fist around the odd appendage, beginning to gently jerk the demon off and catching every moan and whimper in her mouth – and when Peridot began shuddering and pleading, she assumed that she was getting close, and withdrew her hand.

The demon scowled and growled lightly in response, squirming slightly. With a small smirk, the human stayed seated on top of her thighs – completely forgetting that the supernatural being was far, _far_ stronger than her, grabbing onto her sides and flipping her over effortlessly and slamming her down on the bed. Blue hair splayed out around her head and the mattress squeaked and bounced underneath her – she swore she could feel a couple of springs break with the sudden harsh movement. Lapis was barely able to process what had just happened before the immortal on top of her crashed their lips together hard enough that it must have begun bruising, a rushed, heated, hungry, and sloppy kiss shared between them.

Peridot ground their hips together, harshly biting the human's lower lip and groaning in frustration as her tentacle rubbed between her folds – which, admittedly, was making Lapis moan as well. The mortal's scream was caught in her lover's mouth as the green being thrust her appendage into her entrance, completely burying herself into the slick heat within moments. The bluenette whimpered – it was thick, and the stretch was painful, but it was the most amazing sort of painful that she had ever felt. She could barely keep herself coherent as Peridot shifted slightly so that she could restrain her arms over her head, the tentadick wriggling inside of her, thick enough to put pressure on her g-spot and squirming against something deep inside of her. She whined and whimpered, craving more and squirming futilely against the clawed hands holding her wrists. She had never been this thoroughly turned on and reduced to a carnal state of mind in her entire life – all she wanted was more, more, for the demon to start moving and fucking her brains out immediately.

Luckily, she didn't have to wait long, as the demon gave her just enough time to adjust before pulling out almost completely and sinking back in roughly. Lapis let out a slight sob at the overwhelming pleasure and slight pain, squealing softly as her neck was harshly bit into and Peridot began a rough gallop of a pace, leaving her achingly empty and longing for more before slamming their hips together again and burying her tentacle deep inside her human lover. Said human was overwhelmed and babbling incoherently, letting out small guttural sounds and struggling half-heartedly against the strong hands that restrained her.

Peridot twisted in a way that the human might have worried about if her mind wasn't otherwise occupied, moving her attention from her neck in order to bite and suck her breasts. That was what did it; Lapis climaxed with her mouth opened wide in a soundless scream, back arching and her walls clamping against her lover's tentacle. The demon milked it out perfectly, slowing her pace with a little bit of a grit of the teeth, though she didn't stop completely. She waited until the mortal had come down from her high slightly and murmured for her to speed up before resuming pounding into her lover harshly once more.

It didn't take long for the demon to climax as well, shifting to sink her teeth into Lapis' shoulder before emptying her load into the human with a feral growl of pleasure. The sensation of fluid jetting into her in short spurts set the human over the edge once more as well, letting out a silent sob as she came, vision going white as she was overwhelmed.

When it was done, she was too tired to notice that Peridot had pulled out, causing excess fluid to leak out between her thighs, or that her cunt was aching from the overstimulation. She was only really aware of the fact that she was currently being cradled in the lap of her very warm and very soft lover, and that she was exhausted enough that all she really wanted to do was sleep for the next thirty years or so. She very faintly heard the demon ask if she needed anything, and instead of giving an actual verbal response, she just nestled against her lover and stumbled rather ungracefully into the void of unconsciousness.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this video needs to be mentioned bc i watched it like 10 times while writing this and laughed every time: http://teamchaosprez.tumblr.com/post/145635265382/notlostonanadventure-they-showed-me-this-video
> 
> comments appreciated!


	22. Pamper Her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot is a good girlfriend.  
> Warning: contains downright sickening amounts of fluff, nudity, and some conversation on the acts from the previous chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't worry friends this fic will not be a complete sinful fluff compilation the Angst is coming soon

All things considered, waking up in her bedroom with amber light filtering over her naked body through the blinds trying to block out sunlight, the intensely sore stickiness between her legs, and the stinging of freshly formed hickies covering most of her body were eerily familiar. What was different, though, was the complete lack of a pounding headache and the complete recollection of what had happened mere hours before. And as soon as that knowledge resurfaced in her mind, a small smile appeared on her face; that had probably been the nicest sexual experience she had ever had in her eighteen years of life. Maybe even the greatest birthday gift she had ever received, if it counted.

Turning over, she found that Peridot was still asleep with her arms around her, and her heart swelled at the sight of her demonic lover looking so… peaceful. She had a resting bitch face, her cheek slightly squished by the pillow pressed against it, and the circles under her eyes that had been such a prominent feature of her face in the past months had disappeared for the moment. The moment was so peaceful, and the human just wanted to remain like this forever.

Glancing at the clock, however, told her that it was half past eight, and despite having tuckered herself out at the beach the previous day Malachite would probably be awake soon - and she would probably want to know why they were sleeping naked together in bed and what the sticky green stuff on Momma’s legs was. Lapis didn’t particularly want to answer a bunch of sex related questions for her aggravatingly intelligent one year old daughter, so out of bed she rolled, positioning herself so that she could land easily on her feet and walk to her bathroom.

She regretted this decision immediately.

The human was barely able to remain upright with her hips aching so badly, letting out a quiet curse as she managed to balance herself on the edge of the bed with a wince. The enjoyment she had gained from such rough treatment was coming back to bite her, and she really had no clue how she was supposed to hobble to the bathroom and get a shower done like this - let alone be a mother and raise her child. Lapis let out a small whine, laying down on the ground and burying her face in her arms; she didn’t regard the previous night as a  _ bad _ decision, and she didn’t regret it, but she did at least wish she had asked Peridot to be gentler with her and her delicate human body. At least it had been the best sex she’d ever had - she didn’t know how she’d be feeling right now if it had been underwhelming.

She wasn’t aware of her lover waking up until she felt surprisingly strong arms under her, gently flipping her over and lifting her bridal style. Peridot watched her with her mouth tucked into a small, concerned ‘m.’ “Was I too rough last night?,” she asked, her voice taking on a slight guilty tone.

“No, it was great,” Lapis responded with a heavy sigh, letting her head flop against Peridot’s sternum as she frowned slightly. “My lower half just kinda feels like it’s been hit with a bus while getting a knife jabbed into it and also I can’t really walk. But it’s all good. I enjoyed myself.” She gave a small grin and lightly kissed the demon’s jaw, making her blush light cyan. “I just wish I could get to the bathroom and take a shower. I have no clue how I’m going to get through the day like this.”

The demon almost seemed pleased with herself, grabbing onto the blanket strewn haphazardly across the bed and draping it over Lapis so that her naked body was covered and walking out of the room with her carried like a bride to a honeymoon sweet. She was, quite literally, swept off her feet by the gesture. “I can help you bathe - and I’ll take care of Malachite for the day, too. You deserve a little bit of rest, and not only because you got completely wrecked last night. Sorry about that.”

“I already told you that it’s okay,” the human responded with a slight roll of her eyes, allowing the demon to set her down on the toilet seat and watching with her head tilted slightly as a bath was prepared for her. She almost wanted to laugh a little - her entire life, she’d read about demons as being major assholes at the very best and malevolent beings hell bent on destroying every human they came across - never as loving significant others that would help their lover get all cleaned up the morning after absolutely fucking them senseless. Though she supposed it wasn’t a bad correction.

Of course, assuming that the whole malevolent thing was just a misconception. Peridot had originally come to convince her to kill herself, after all, and only stopped because she started developing some traces of a sense of empathy. There had to be at least one person, if not the majority of all demonic entities, down in Hell that didn’t feel bad about what they did to innocent humans and even  _ enjoyed _ completely destroying the psyche of some mortal that probably hadn’t done much of anything wrong. She still wondered why  _ she _ had a demon sent to her to drive her to that point.

Before Lapis could really begin an in depth attempt at an analysis, though, the demon had picked her up again and gently set her down in the warm bathwater. She sighed slightly, the liquid feeling absolutely delightful against her sore muscles - how could she really even consider trying to have negative thoughts towards Peridot at the moment? She had learned, she had apologized, and the human had forgiven her and fallen in love with her. The past between them, Lapis supposed, didn’t really matter when things had gotten so much better regarding the demon.

“Hey, Dot?,” she spoke chipperly, grabbing a loofah from the basket she kept at the side of the tub and layering some body soap on. She grimaced a little at the mess on her inner thighs - honestly, was it sticking on the skin even when exposed to water because it had been there a while or was it some demon thing? “Just out of curiosity, was completely forgetting to use any sort of protection a mistake?” She lifted her leg a little so she could scrub off the remains of the sticky substance without getting all the soap off the sponge in the water.

A clawed hand reached over to help her hold the limb up, and she hummed in thanks. “Well, it’s been a while since I was in sex ed. But demons can’t contract STIs, if that’s what you’re worried about, and half demons are pretty rare. They only really happen if the demon and human are compatible biologically - it’s a little more common for human born demons like me, but I don’t think it’s a big enough chance to get your panties in a twist worrying about it,” she responded with a shrug. “There are a bunch of factors that lead into it, and I can’t remember what they are, honestly. They would probably hammer it into our heads if it was really a problem.”

Lapis was tempted to push a little further, but decided that she could accept that explanation and shrugged. She did make a mental note to bother Peridot about doing some research later, though - she fully intended to do a round two of the previous night some other time and wanted to be safer then. The last thing in the world she wanted was to try and worry about  _ college _ with  _ two _ very young children to worry about; she barely had enough free time as it was.

“I must say, though, I didn’t expect for you to be that good,” she spoke when she was satisfied with the cleanliness of her thighs, reaching over to gently boop her lover’s nose. “I mean, no offense, but you’re a really big nerdy softie. You don’t seem like the kind of person that would be a complete animal in bed. I don’t know if it’s because of your demony nature or whatever, but I am pleasantly surprised.” She gave a small, shit-eating grin, and had to bite down the urge to laugh at the thick blue blush that immediately covered Peridot’s face and shoulders.

“Well, I’m glad our activities proved pleasurable for the both of us,” the demon replied in a strained squeak, and Lapis was eternally amused by how thoroughly flustered she had made the immortal. Feeling a little bad, though, she gave her a light peck on the cheek before going back to washing her body. She could appreciate that the demon didn’t make any sleazy comments - even before they’d had sex, Peridot had seen her nude, so it wasn’t like there was much of anything to get bothered or thoroughly awkward about.

“Next time, you’re going to have to be a little gentler, though,” the human teased lightly, reaching for the shampoo - when the demon reached over and gently began washing her hair for her, she let out a soft sigh and leaned her head back into the touch. “As nice as it was getting completely wrecked, I don’t think I’d be able to live my life in a constant state of having my lower body in pain. I still have no clue how I’m going to get through just  _ today _ .”

“Like I said, I’m going to take care of Malachite today. You’re going to take a nap.” The demon lightly pressed a kiss on her forehead before grabbing the showerhead and gently rinsing the shampoo from her hair. “You are going to stay in bed until you’re feeling better.”

“What makes you think you can tell me what to do?” The human huffed, though she was pleased that her lover was so ready to take over her responsibilities for the day. It was a good thing she didn’t have any classes or anything, because she fully intended to go along with it after making it perfectly clear that she wasn’t about to be ordered around.

“I don’t,” Peridot shrugged, gesturing for Lapis to pull the drain plug on the bathtub, which she did willingly. She was then lifted and wrapped in a towel - she couldn’t deny that being so coddled that she barely had to lift a finger was nice. “I just want to help you have a nice day not completely overriden by soreness that was caused by me, that’s all. And I’d really like to spoil you while I still have the supernatural strength needed to carry you around without much effort.”

“I only weigh ninety pounds.”

“One of the only things I remember about my life as a human was that I was a complete and utter geek. You could probably break my poor wittle hand if you squeezed it too hard.”

The bluenette let out a soft laugh as the demon gently kissed her cheek. “So  _ I’ll _ be the one treating _ you _ like a princess? Wow. I don’t know if I’ll be able to reach your level, Dot, because you are being the significant other of everyone’s dreams right now.” She rested her head against Peridot’s shoulder, a small, almost goofily dreamy smile on her face. Lapis was definitely in a good mood - moreso than she had even thought possible a while ago - and she was determined to hold onto it for as long as she cold. And that meant, just for today, letting herself be pampered.

“Sorry, but I, the great and loveable Peridot, am completely the best at being a lover,” the demon responded in a tone, and the human genuinely couldn’t tell if she was joking or genuinely that full of herself; so all she did was laugh a little bit, allowing herself to be set down on the bed and flopping back immediately.

“Well, I think some cuddles with you would be the best possible thing right now.”

“I’m inclined to agree.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i can relate to peridot because i, too, want to spoil lapis and give her lots of love  
> also i listened to the wicked soundtrack like six times while writing this  
> also also here's some of the lore for hybrids and shit: http://teamchaosprez.tumblr.com/post/145768595992/also-a-couple-notes-btw-since-i-know-updates-can
> 
> and you may have noticed but there is now one less chapter planned for this fic. donut worry my peeps it is because i intend to write a sequel
> 
> comments would be lovely!


	23. Mistake or Not

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot isn't entirely sure whether she's making the right choice. Luckily, her meathead friend is being surprisingly reasonable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM VERY BAD AT CHAPTER NAMES. also sorry if the quality is dropping i got a kitten the other day and he has been preventing me from being productive by being overwhelmingly cute

Another month had passed, and Peridot swore she fell more in love with Lapis every day. Everything about her was just so wonderful, from the caringness she showed towards her daughter to how hard she worked on her studies to the soft noises she made in their more intimate moments to the way she would laugh when playing with Steven and Malachite in the snow, which was falling quite steadily now that December had come along. The demon swore that the earth stopped and stood still whenever the human smiled at her, and she was vaguely aware that allowing herself to be so swept away by her own affections was setting her up for getting into some  _ deep _ shit.

Jasper’s teasing certainly didn’t help. The older demon had taken a liking to teasing her friend whenever she saw necessary - which was almost all the fucking time. She would make crude sexual jokes, laugh at Peridot whenever she was feeling particularly affectionate, and even comment on the kinds of kinks she thought that the bluenette might be into. The smaller demon didn’t particularly mind, as she knew it was coming from a friendly and maybe attention starved place (however annoying it got), but for Lucifer’s sake, she wished that the other wouldn’t make such comments in front of Malachite. Peridot had to start covering the toddler’s ears more often than not.

She wondered how she had gotten so bad at her job that she was now not only fraternizing with the human she was supposed to be leading to suicide, but becoming like a second parent to her child and reaching a level that could only be described as  **domestic.** She wasn’t sure whether she loved the direction her afterlife was beginning to take or hated it, but as she was right now - watching Lapis get into a rather heated snowball fight with Steven outside - she couldn’t help but decide she loved it.

“Lucifer, Peridot, you have the most lovesick expression I’ve ever seen on a demon,” Jasper suddenly announced, flopping onto the bed next to her with a huge mischievous grin on her face. A little annoyed at having her thoughts interrupted, the younger demon rolled her eyes before turning her head to face her companion. Malachite was resting in the bigger demon’s hair, green eyes peering out at Peridot with a curious and playful expression. “How come you’re putting off the transformation for so long? The sooner you can do that the less of a risk being with her presents for both of you - does she have some sort of bizarre demon fetish? Because that would explain a lot.”

The green being choked on her own spit, having to cough to allow herself to speak afterwards with a face flushed bright cyan. Malachite crawled out of Jasper’s hair in order to plop herself in Peridot’s lap, wrapping her strong little arms around her sort-of stepmother’s middle as much as she could - the immortal responded by gently stroking her hair. “Okay, first of all and less heavy, no, I’m pretty sure she doesn’t have a demon fetish, and even if she did I’m pretty sure that wouldn’t change anything because our affection towards each other is based on more than sex,” she huffed, using a little bit of magic to block the hybrid’s hearing - said toddler responded by whining and squirming slightly. Honestly, Peridot  _ really _ wished that Jasper would stop starting up conversations about such lewd things in the presence of a child far too young to hear them. “And secondly, I think I’m holding off because I… don’t  _ want _ to remember. I get the feeling my life wasn’t all that great, and I might have forgotten for a reason, so if I need to force myself to remember to earn my ticket back to humanity…”

“I get it,” Jasper responded with a shrug, lightly ruffling her younger friend’s mess of blonde hair. Peridot made a disgruntled noise and batted her huge hand away, squinting. “Usually, if someone’s in hell, their mortal life wasn’t all that pretty. I think the main question to ask yourself is whether or not it’s worth it.” The bigger demon then proceeded to lean back, resting her weight on her elbows. “Would you rather be a human with more physical limits and bad memories but your girlfriend and an entire life ahead of you, or would you rather be a demon with tons of power and no overly negative memories but lose Lapis and be limited to just all of eternity haunting people?”

“Well, I would rather be human, clearly,” Peridot scoffed, rubbing her temples to try and avoid a headache that she could feel coming on. “I’m just nervous, Jasper. I doubt you’ve ever needed to worry about that, considering you’re, well,  _ Jasper _ .” She sighed heavily, flopping so that she was laying on the bed and covering her face with her hands. “I don’t want to make a mistake, you know?”

“You’ve never made a rash decision when it comes to choosing paths that will seriously affect the rest of your afterlife. Unless you count falling for Lapis, and I don’t think that was really a decision you made consciously.” Jasper then lightly flicked Peridot’s nose, which was more painful than it probably should have been due to the bigger gem’s fingers being like oversized sausages. “I think you’ll be fine. You won’t make a serious mistake that you’ll end up regretting for the rest of time.”

The immortal sighed again, but sat up and removed the magic blocking Malachite’s ears. “Wow, thanks,” she grumbled in response, regrettably genuine instead of the sarcasm she was going for - the toddler jumped slightly, startled by the sudden noise and hiding her face against Peridot’s middle. She wasn’t used to Jasper being so reassuring - she was more like the demon equivalent of a fraternity douchebag, leaving Hell to visit human bars and sneak into human parties, seducing and bedding young women and then swiping away all of their memory of the night except for getting to the event, a vague blur of what had happened, and leaving. The younger immortal didn’t particularly approve of it, but she supposed that made it all the more touching whenever the brute had moments of genuine sincerity.

“So, did you need anything, or just encouragement on whether or not you made the right choice?” Jasper asked, snapping her fingers in front of Peridot’s face and startling her out of her thoughts. The green immortal scowled, gently running her fingers through Malachite’s wild hair and detangling the white locks - she could vaguely tell that the toddler was starting to get sleepy, based on her slowing breathing and almost complete lack of movement. She’d have to relocate her to her bed.

“I didn’t even ask you to come over here,” she grumbled in what she hoped was a tone too quiet for her friend to hear, floating to her feet and moving Malachite to her shoulder. Said child made a soft and disgruntled noise, but curled up with her face pressed against the side of Peridot’s neck. The demon was at least eighty percent sure that the hybrid was the cutest half human ever to exist - she could only hope that she didn’t inherit much personality from Jasper or Lapis, because that was bound to be a disaster come her teenage years. “But no, I don’t think so - unless you feel like sharing your backstory with me, anyway. I feel like that might make me feel a little better.”

Jasper snorted and rolled her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest. “What makes you think I remember mine?,” she inquired smugly, and the younger demon immediately felt a little bad for asking - until, of course, the bigger immortal started talking again. “Well, I barely remember it. I’ve been a demon for a few thousand years and I remembered my past  _ ages _ ago. But from what I can gather, I was born somewhere in the Middle East. My father was a warrior who always wanted sons to carry on the family’s legacy of being feared on the battlefield, but my mother died giving birth to me, the firstborn. He didn’t have the patience to remarry, so he just trained me instead,” she flexed for emphasis, and Peridot rolled her eyes. “Time went on, and I was put out on the battlefield sometime in my late teens. I was  _ badass as fuck, _ you should’ve seen me - unfortunately, though, my zest for fighting and overpowering and killing went a little past just patriotism. They had some sort of nickname for me because of my bloodlust, but that’s a detail that’s slipped my mind. I was enough of a terror that they sent ten men  _ specifically _ to overpower and kill me, and, well, that’s how I wound up in hell.”

Peridot shuddered, though she supposed she wasn’t surprised that her brutish friend had such a story to tell. It did make her feel better somewhat, though - there was no way she’d ever been a brutal murderer like that. She could see why Jasper had become a demon - her complete lack of mercy probably came in handy when she needed to haunt others until they killed themselves. That still left the question, though, of what  _ she, _ a nerdy weakling who couldn’t even get through a job because a woman and her daughter were too cute for words, had done to deserve going to Hell and becoming a demon. She could only hope that it wasn’t that bad, and she had just made a single stupid mistake that screwed her over. She wasn’t entirely sure how she would be able to handle whatever she learned.

“I’m not surprised,” she finally responded, sticking her tongue out and carrying the toddler out of the room, Jasper trailing behind lazily. “I’m a little disappointed that you weren’t some college pervert that drank yourself to death or got into some stupid fight you couldn’t win, though. That’s what I’ve been assuming based off of your  _ charming _ personality the last six months.” The insult was goodnatured, not meant to get her into a fight with her friend - in fact, she really hoped that Jasper wouldn’t be horribly insulted, because the bigger demon could pummel her within moments.

Luckily, she snorted and ruffled Peridot’s hair, making the smaller demon pout. “Honestly, if I’d been born closer to modern day, I probably would have been,” the older immortal shrugged in amusement before saluting her friend and backing away out the door. “I’d better get going, though. I get the feeling I’m going to be sent on an assignment soon, and you should get Sleeping Beauty tucked in.” She nodded towards Malachite, and Peridot wasn’t even able to get a word in before the bigger demon disappeared in a cloud of black smoke.

“Asshole,” the immortal grumbled, having a bit of a heart attack before glancing at Malachite and finding that, mercifully, she was still fast asleep. Lapis would  _ murder _ her if the toddler started repeating curse words that she had learned from Peridot - she didn’t fully understand why it mattered so much (they were just  _ words, _ it didn’t make any logical sense for some of them to be taboo and others to not) but the last thing she wanted was to get into a fight over something so trivial. Or anything at all, for that matter… but  _ especially _ not teaching Malachite a bad word.

After laying the toddler down in her bed, the demon had absolutely no motivation to do much of anything, so she just laid down on the floor and stared at the ceiling. When she thought on it too much, her head started reeling - in the last four months alone, she had gone from spending ninety percent of her time in her quarters in Hell to hanging around a human and falling in love with her, taking care of her daughter as if she was her own and working towards restoring her human life.

She was completely overwhelmed and, not for the first time, she couldn’t help but wonder if she was really making a good decision here. Thinking about Lapis assured her that she was, but she couldn’t tell if she was just overthinking this or genuinely had reason to be doubting herself so much.

Whatever. It wasn’t like there was any turning back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eug i dunno how i feel about jaspy's backstory she's the only one i didn't have 100% figured out back in like november
> 
> comments appreciated!


	24. Lied To

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis meets Jasper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just now realized that there are less than 10 chapters left of this fic jesus christ

Of all the things that Lapis expected to see when walking into her daughter’s room to wake her up for the day, a massive hulking demon sleeping next to the bed certainly was not among them. She attempted to swallow down her panic dryly, slowly walking over and gently lifting Malachite into her arms. The toddler barely stirred, grasping her mother’s shirt and gently nestling her face into the fabric - the human couldn’t help but wonder how the everloving fuck her daughter had managed to sleep so easily with the demon nearby, but she supposed she didn’t really give a fuck and wouldn’t think on it until she had pulled her baby to safety.

As quietly as she could so as not to wake up Malachite, she took some shaky steps to the bed and gently lifted her daughter into her arms. She never took her eyes off of the immortal as she held the toddler close to her chest and slowly started backing away - the first thing that crossed her mind was that she probably ought to go get Peridot for help, considering her lover probably better knew what to do regarding her species better than she did. Lapis was internally panicking slightly - what if some psychological damage had been done to Malachite, and what if this was her fault for becoming romantically and sexually involved with a demon? Was her entire family about to be punished?

When the massive beast started to stir, she tensed, ready to make a dash for it as far down the hall as she could. The demon rose with a yawn and a stretch, allowing the human to get a good look at her at last - she was tall, widely built and muscular, a thick curtain of white hair tumbling down her back. Now that her face was actually visible, some features became recognizable - that oddly shaped nose and those plump lips certainly seemed similar to that of her child, but what allowed her to put two and two together was when amber eyes blinked open to watch her.

Most people, upon meeting the other parent of their one year old child after barely remembering them and realizing that they were a demon, would be perhaps shocked. Maybe a little frightened. Unfortunately, Lapis was not most people, and her tiredness was combining with her moment of panic to create a cocktail of rage and unbridled anger in her mind that she did her best to stifle. Sucking in a deep breath and allowing her face to fall into the most unamused expression she could, being careful to speak quietly so that Malachite wouldn’t have to wake up to her momma throwing a fit.

“Well. I’m just going to assume that you’re who I think you are, despite the fact that I don’t even have your fucking name,” she began in a low voice, doing her best to keep her breathing steady and calm. “I don’t know whether I’m more angry that you thought it was a good idea to fuck a drunk sixteen year old or that Peridot didn’t tell me that she knew you.”

The demon gave a grin, rolling into a standing position - she was at least eight feet tall, towering over Lapis. She normally would have backed down at being approached by somebody so massive, but it was seven in the morning, she had class in an hour, and she did  _ not _ have the patience for this shit. “Well, first, it’s Jasper. You have my name now,” the demon began, crossing her arms over her chest - admittedly, now it made sense why that name was so familiar. “Secondly, fucking young humans is not illegal under any law in Hell. There are no legal repercussions I could go through for it, and you were pretty goddamn willing - you were the one begging me. And thirdly, Peridot specifically told me to stay out of your way and not to interact with you, or else I probably would have introduced myself by now. I  _ am _ loitering in your house, after all.”

“Yeah, you are,” Lapis responded with a heavy sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose out of irritation. She didn’t exactly want to be around Jasper, but she wasn’t entirely sure if it would be ethically correct to kick her daughter’s other parent out of the house - not to mention she was a little bit scared of what the demon might do to her if she was rude. She was well aware that immortals were capable of far more than humans, and with this one’s stature it would probably be fairly easy to crush her like a toothpick. “Just out of curiosity, how long have you been coming to visit? Because I haven’t been aware of your presence this entire time and I am going to have a serious talk with Peridot about permitting large and scary entities into the house.”

Jasper shrugged, going to lean against a nearby wall, and internally Lapis thanked whatever powers that be that the demon had enough sense to not sit on the kiddie bed - it would crumble and break under her weight and the human was a little tired of mooching off her mother’s money. “I’ve been here on and off since around Halloween. A little bit before your birthday, I think. And don’t blame anything on Peridot - I came on my own accord, and she was fairly against my presence at first. I think she only let me stay because Mala started liking me and I wouldn’t have left anyway.”

So that meant there had been an extra immortal in her house for a month, and Peridot had never once thought to let her know. Not to mention this demon was her child’s other parent - she had let herself know that several times, but every thought about it that crossed her mind mainly just served to freak her out further. This entire situation felt a million miles away, or like something that was coming out of a dream (or nightmare) and wasn’t happening to her in real time.

“It isn’t that I’m upset that she let you come in.” That was a little bit of a lie - she  _ was _ rather bothered by the fact that she had more than one demon in her house at any given moment, but she could sort of understand why her lover had thought it appropriate to allow the beastly immortal stick around. “I’m just mad that I was never told, and that you were  _ instructed _ to stay away from me. I like to think that I have a right to know when some weird non human creature - or even a human - is in my house, potentially bothering my mother and  **definitely** around my baby.”

The massive demon nodded slightly and shrugged. “You humans are so overprotective,” she announced, rolling her eyes and shifting her weight off of the wall. “If I were to bother your mother, she could always just immediately exorcise me. It wouldn’t be all that hard with her extensive history, so I just stay out of her way for my own safety. As for Malachite, I wouldn’t hurt her. She’s my kin, and she’s a pretty damn cool kid. Why would I  _ want _ to?”

“But what if it was a  _ different _ demon? One that  **wants** Peridot to do her job? My mother, you might be right about, but Malachite?,” Lapis was working herself up slightly, holding her daughter a little tighter as a million scenarios played through her head. “She’s a half demon living with her human mother. I don’t know if that makes her more vulnerable to your kind, or what your stance on hybrids is. They could want to hurt her to make me feel like a failure of a mother, or they could just want to hurt her because you’re fucking  _ demons _ and I’m at least ninety percent sure other inhabitants of fucking hell itself aren’t so nice about humans and children.”

“And if I were one of those kinds of immortals, Peridot would have notified you to my presence long ago. Really, she isn’t that irresponsible.” Jasper seemed to be amused at her distress, and honestly, that was only pissing Lapis off further. She had never liked being invalidated, and she certainly didn’t care for it now. “You have nothing to worry about. I don’t get why you’re getting yourself all worked up over this, and it isn’t like I’m going anywhere, so I guess you’ll just have to get used to me.”

Her frustration at a boiling point, all Lapis could really manage to do that  _ wouldn’t _ inevitably get her killed was quickly turn on her heel and storm out of the room, slamming the door behind her. The noise caused Malachite to pop awake almost immediately, clinging to her mother’s neck with a startled squeak - a little guilty about it, the human gently patted her daughter’s hair and walked down the stairs to the kitchen. She had wasted too much of her time talking to Jasper - she needed to get out of the house pretty quickly if she wanted to drop the toddler off at Rose’s and walk to campus. She  _ certainly _ didn’t have enough time to walk up to Peridot and start a serious discussion about letting her know what was going on in the house - and maybe that was a good thing, considering that would inevitably turn into an argument if she confronted her while seething.

Lapis barely remembered to grab Malachite’s coat on her way out the door, helping the toddler pull it on to protect her from the frigid December air. The toddler watched her with wide green eyes, a small frown on her face. “Why mad?,” was the question that came from the child as she gently patted her mother’s cheeks. Lapis snorted faintly, already in a little bit of a better mood just being around the toddler - she wasn’t sure how Malachite did it, always fixing her bad moods without trying. Maybe it was just part of the magic of having offspring; it was challenging, sure, but at least small children were good for a quick fix of happiness. She supposed that alone made it worth it.

“Because nobody thought it was a good idea to talk to me about some big things,” the human responded, zipping up her daughter’s coat and giving her a small kiss on the forehead. “It’s okay. I’m not  _ that _ mad, just a little bit upset.” That was a lie - she  **was** exceedingly and increasingly angry, but she knew that toddlers were sometimes uneasy around people that were in a rage, so she did her best to stifle it. The absolute  _ last _ thing she wanted was her own daughter to be afraid of talking to her. “I’m gonna leave you with Rose for a little bit of extra time today so I can talk to Peridot about some grown up stuff. Is that okay with you?”

Malachite thought about it for a moment, her cheeks puffing up in concentration as she crossed her arms over her chest. Lapis almost wanted to laugh; that level of consideration on such a young face was almost comical. “Okay!,” she finally responded cheerfully, taking her mother’s hand and toddling towards the front door; the human responded by scooping her up in her arms and carrying her outside despite the small sound of annoyance she made.

The toddler was dropped off at the Quartz-Universe residence, some brief greetings and goodbyes were exchanged, and Lapis was alone again. She sighed heavily, stuffing her hands in the pocket of her jacket and walking down the sidewalk towards the college.

Autumn was giving way to winter without much effort, dead leaves and brown grass rustled by cold winds, a few banks of snow from overnight snowfall scattered about the side of the road. It really was freezing out, and the young human regretted not having pulled out her winter coat. It was supposed to be a colder than average winter, and she was already dreading it - she always felt more alone and isolated when the weather got colder and the snow closed her in, restricting her to her house and requiring she get a bus in order to get to every class. She supposed it wasn’t all that new a feeling, though - she was uninformed, deeply in love with someone that had been just a step below lying to her for the last month or so. She couldn’t help but wonder if Jasper’s presence was the only thing being hidden from her; what else was she being lied to about? She felt more alone than ever.

For the first time in a while, she considered if she would be better off dead after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments wld be appreciated!


	25. Working It Out, Somewhat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis confronts Peridot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so sorry jesus christ i've been having a lot of family issues lately and this chapter was hard to crank out

Peridot knew she was in trouble the moment she watched Lapis storm past the home of Rose Quartz and straight to the front door. She had no clue what she’d done wrong, but she knew that it couldn’t be good if the human was angry enough that she was leaving Malachite in the care of someone else just to either confront her or throw a fit or whatever it was that was currently going on. It couldn’t have been for something good, either, judging by the barely contained fury that was visible on Lapis’ face even from the second story window. Making a run for it and hiding away in Hell at the mercy of Yellow Diamond suddenly sounded very,  _ very _ tempting.

She stayed put, though, knowing that if she made some sort of mistake she would have to own up to it. The green demon watched as her lover stopped at the front door, clenching her fists and trying to calm down - she supposed it was a good sign if the human was at least trying to keep calm instead of storming up shrieking like a banshee, but she was still mildly afraid. Lapis seemed to relax slightly at the ground level, as her fists unclenched and her face took on a slightly more cool and collected expression. It crossed Peridot’s mind one more time that perhaps she should make a run for it, but she still stayed put, a little paranoid that hiding would only bring the fury back.

The demon was shivering slightly by the time the human finally entered the house. She tried to think of another course of action - maybe she could summon some flowers really quickly, and that might make the blow less powerful? No, that might make Lapis feel guilty for being angry, as if her fear and confusion wouldn’t be enough to do that. So she swallowed thickly and floated to the bedroom, sitting on the bed with her hands folded in her lap and trying to prevent the fear from appearing on her face.

When Lapis entered the room, Peridot noted with a small amount of relief that the look on her face was calmer than she had expected. It crossed her mind momentarily that it was a little ridiculous for a demon to be afraid of the wrath of her human; the oddness of the situation did nothing to assuage her fear, unfortunately. “Is something wrong?,” she inquired through the lump in her throat, praying silently that nothing would result in something horrible happening.

“Are there any other demons in this house that you know of? Or that I’ve been involved with?,” the human asked in a tone suggesting that she was not as calm as her outward appearance, and if her words alone didn’t terrify the fuck out of the demon, that did. Peridot swallowed thickly, folding her clawed hands together in front of her and avoiding eye contact. She had been hiding everything to protect the mortal, yes, but she… regretted not informing her sooner. It  _ was _ important for her to know that there was more than one supernatural guest in her house and around her child, after all.

“Look, Lapis, I’m sorry,” the immortal began cautiously, taking a step forward and reaching her hand out, only to pull it back against her chest. The corners of her lips tugged downwards into a frown. “It’s completely reasonable that you’re upset, but please understand that I never told you because I want to protect you. I demanded that Jasper stay away from you because I  _ know _ that meeting her would stress you out, and I know it’s kinda in your rights to know who the other parent of your daughter is and that she’s in the house, but knowing more than one demon on a personal level could be seriously dangerous for you. Humans who aren’t involved in the occult aren’t supposed to be aware that we exist.”

Lapis’ expression seemed to soften for half a second before hardening again, and anxiety combined with regret immediately ravaged Peridot’s chest. She wished she could make the human understand, and she wished that she could make all of this okay with a simple apology and brief explanation. “Holding this information from me is basically lying to me, Peri,” she spoke, her voice even colder than it had been before. “This whole relationship isn’t going to work out if you keep me from knowing important things like this, do you understand? How would you feel if you had a house and some asshole was just chilling in it, interacting with your child and touching your shit, and I knew about it but refused to tell you a damn thing? Wouldn’t you have wanted to know about it, regardless of whether I was just hiding the information to protect you from some bullshit?”

Peridot winced, withering slightly under the heavy scolding. The demon quietly held her arm with the opposite hand, watching the ground - she was ashamed of herself, truly, even if it was mostly because Lapis was upset with her. She bit her lip between sharp rows of teeth and nodded slightly in agreement, hoping that if she didn’t argue back the human would just get tired of ranting and give it a rest. “I’m so sorry, really, I am. I should have told you when she first showed up. There’s just no real way of getting rid of her, and… I figured it would just be safer for you if you didn’t know.”

“I accept your apology, but I’m going to need some time before I can actually say that it’s okay,” the human responded slowly before looking away, crossing her arms over her chest. Somehow, Peridot doubted that she was done talking, which was only confirmed moments later. “That isn’t the only issue, though. If Malachite’s other parent is a demon, then why wouldn’t I be capable of carrying a second hybrid? We haven’t worried about protection  _ at all _ in the last month, and you’ve come inside of me more times than not.” Peridot’s face turned bright turquoise, but she did her best to maintain a serious expression. “What if you got me pregnant, Peridot? I can’t handle another baby. Not while I’m eighteen, living with my mother, going to college, unable to find a stable job, and dating a creature straight out of a fucking Paranormal Activity movie or something. And how the fuck would I  _ explain _ myself? ‘Hey, Mother, I know I’ve never actually had a stable relationship and swear up and down that I’m a non-promiscuous lesbian, I’m pregnant again within two years of losing my virginity! Surprise!’”

“Okay, first of all, I’m not some beastly piece of shit that stalks young couples and tries to kidnap babies,” Peridot started, reaching out and grabbing onto Lapis’ arms. The human tensed in her hold, but didn’t push her away, which she supposed was a good sign. “So I’m not something out of a Paranormal Activity movie. And secondly, like I’ve told you before, half demons are really insanely rare. There was a one in a thousand chance when Malachite was conceived, and there’s a very small chance whenever we do… stuff. It’s not completely impossible, but it’s very improbable. If it would make you feel better, next time I’m in Hell I’ll go through and look up every factor that leads to it.”

Perhaps the most satisfying thing to Peridot was watching Lapis’ lividness fade with the rationality thrown at her, but when the human pulled away it became evident that she was still upset. The demon bit her lip once more, genuinely afraid that this might be the end of the first serious relationship she had ever been in - or the first that mattered, anyway, as she was sure she’d remember anything that important from her human life.

“You shouldn’t have ever hidden anything from me in the first place,” Lapis spoke slowly, her voice only slightly wavering with what was either anger or sadness or a combination of both. “Go look up what factors lead to the conception of a half demon, and you’d better not hide any of those from me to keep yourself from getting in trouble. Because I  _ will _ ask Jasper to fact check if I need to, and I  _ will _ find out.” With that, she sucked in a deep breath and turned to walk away. “I’m going to need to think on what I want to do from this point forward, okay? Just leave me alone for a few hours. I’m going to head down to the beach or something, and I’ll be back by sunset.”

Before Peridot could even get a word in to respond, the human had walked out of the room and was on her way down the hallway. The demon wanted to run after her, stop her and do something more to plead for forgiveness, but she immediately kicked herself internally for thinking of a romantic movie stereotype. Lapis wanted space, so it was space she would get until she came back. That was a difficult concept for the immortal - who always wanted to get the last word in - but she had slowly been learning about respect and boundaries.

She was more powerful than the human by a long shot, and she knew that. She was capable of much more, and she had a much longer lifespan ahead of her if she was too cowardly to go through with her conversion back to humanity. If she wanted to, she could  _ force _ Lapis to see her way, and she could force Lapis to forgive her and act like none of this had ever happened - or, at the very least, brainwash her into thinking that nothing had gone down and there was no reason to be angry.

The path was tempting to no bounds, certainly, and the demon wanted nothing more than to get past this little hiccup in their relationship and move on. But she loved her human lover, more than she had loved anything before, and she knew that trying to force her or her psyche into anything was wrong on many, many levels. If not just for the moral and psychological aspects, Peridot wanted Lapis to forgive her on her own terms; that would make their relationship stronger, right? And even if the human didn’t forgive her, at least the demon could live knowing that she had tried, and that the mortal could go off and live the rest of her life her own way instead of in a relationship she might not have wanted otherwise.

Peridot sighed heavily and gripped at the thin membrane separating the realms of the mortal world and Hell, ripping a hole in the fabric in order to step through into her quarters. She needed to locate some files on human and demon reproduction - as many as she could, in order to be one hundred percent honest with Lapis and ensure that nothing was left out. She honestly didn’t think that there was much of a possibility that the human could be pregnant, but if it would assuage her fears and help mend things, then she would do all the research necessary.

Walking out into the long halls of Hell, she was overwhelmed momentarily by how hot it was in comparison to the cold December air of the modern realm - if she had any human organs, she was certain that she would be keeling over from a heat stroke. She hesitated momentarily before beginning her long trek to the library, glancing around at the other demons bustling between their assignments - probably with very little worries, assuming that they hadn’t been exposed to emotions and morality and were still completely without their free will for the time being.

She swallowed down another lump that was forming in her throat, this one mainly out of longing for the simplicity of her first six months of the afterlife. While she did love the family she was becoming a part of and the freedom to do as she pleased within reason, she couldn’t help but miss the routine of when she was recently deceased.

For the first time in a while, she wondered if she was making the right choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments would be very much appreciated xo


	26. Research

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot does her research.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've been? focusing? a lot on peridot lately? maybe because i've been criticized for being too lapis centric lmao? or the story is mostly evolving bc of dottie. anyway the chapter after next will be back to lapis' pov

“What files do you have there?”

The voice of Yellow Diamond startled Peridot beyond what words could describe, and she turned quickly, clutching the pile of papers close to her chest. Terror settled in rather easily as she faced her boss, who was watching her with an expression that showed boredom and vague suspicion. The lesser demon swallowed thickly, internally wishing that somebody was around to distract the higher being and allow her to make a run for it back to the human dimension. Dealing with Lapis’ silent treatment would be ten times easier than carrying on a casual discussion with her boss after being stuck in the same assignment for four months and destroying her reputation as an efficient drone.

“Hello, my Diamond!” she declared a little too enthusiastically, a huge grin appearing on her face that was probably the most forced and faked expression she had ever held. “I’m, uh,” she paused, swallowing thickly and glancing at the manila folders in her hands - HUMAN AND DEMON REPRODUCTION was printed quite clearly on the fronts of many of them, so she wasn’t going to get away with lying about what she was researching - lying about why, though, was an entirely different story. “... looking up the factors that aid with the conception of half demon, half human hybrids. I… have noticed that Lapis Lazuli’s daughter is one, and I just want to know how it was possible, that’s all! I thought it was completely impossible to give birth to one without selling your soul or making a deal with Satan, or something like that.” She continued to smile underneath the scrutinizing stare of her boss, sweat forming at her brow. She was an awful liar and she knew it, but there was no way that she would survive letting her diamond know that she was fraternizing with the human she was supposed to destroy.

Luckily, her employer seemed to buy the lie, probably because demons never cared to lie to their higher ups. “Ah, right. Jasper’s the sire of that child if I remember right,” Yellow Diamond spoke casually, glancing upwards as if thinking back on it. “Right, she’s the reason that her mother needs to be driven to suicide, actually. Half demon children are dangerously unpredictable, and if one were to fall into the hands of a human scientist it would severely damage our ability to just be seen as myths.”

“What does that have to do with Lazuli?” Peridot asked cautiously, hugging the files a little closer to her chest. “All she did was have sex with a demon, and I seriously doubt she even knew what she was doing. It isn’t  _ her _ fault she has a potentially dangerous child. Couldn’t Malachite be done away with separately?” She hated herself for talking this way - she had come to care for the little hybrid as if she were her own, and she couldn’t even stand to imagine the devastation on Lapis’ face if something were to happen to the toddler - but she was genuinely curious. She wanted to know how being the mother of a halfling child would constitute putting her on what was basically the death row and the list of people that had one way tickets to Hell courtesy of a quick haunt.

“No,” Yellow Diamond responded bluntly, watching her with one eyebrow raised and a piercing golden gaze. “Half demons have this effect where their mothers become attached to them immediately - like the actual maternal bond seen in most humans, but far stronger. It’s meant to give the hybrid a guard that will remain with them until they’re at least fully grown, or until the human mother is killed. If we’re to do away with the problem that is Malachite Lazuli, we have to get rid of Lapis Lazuli first in order to make her vulnerable.”

Peridot was squirming in place, and part of her wanted to do something to set her boss’ mind straight, but most of her - the reasonable part - knew that she was far underpowered and didn’t even stand a third of a chance. So she gave the elder demon a polite smile, like she understood and grasped the information perfectly. “Okay, I understand.”

The higher demon gave a vague smile that made the lesser feel as though she were a degenerate and reminded her that she could be done away with very easily - which, she supposed, was the point that Yellow Diamond was trying to make with it. “By the way, Peridot, how come your assignment hasn’t been completed yet? Your previous three were finished in nearly record time, and I would hate to think that one of my newest and most efficient lesser demons is losing her touch. That certainly wouldn’t go very well for you or your future serving me.”

The green being gulped quickly - her mind raced for excuses, but she chose the one that seemed to be the closest to the truth, as it would probably be the most convincing. “Lapis Lazuli is very obstinate, my Diamond. She still refuses to respond to the haunting properly - but I’m sure I’m wearing down on her by now. This assignment will be completed in due time, especially now that I know how… imperative it is.” She gulped thickly at the lie, glancing away to avoid eye contact. She wasn’t used to lying to her superiors and going behind their backs, and she wasn’t sure she liked it.

Yellow Diamond studied her for several more seconds with a frown on her face, as if hoping that the lesser immortal would crack under the pressure - and she might have if it carried on for just a minute longer than it did. “I hope for your sake that’s true, Peridot. I still need to make an attempt at chastising Jasper for her reckless behavior - this isn’t the first hybrid she’s parented. You two are friends, correct? Do you have any clue where she might be?”

The green demon knew exactly where she was - helping take care of Malachite.

But she shook her head with an innocent expression anyway before carrying on her merry way, a heavy weight settling in the bottom of her stomach and an expression of pure misery on her face.

* * *

 

She was exhausted, but she supposed that was to be expected after spending several hours straight combing through files about various hybrids in history and how they had been created. Despite Peridot’s lack of true need for rest, all she really wanted at the moment was to curl up in a heap and take a long, long nap - hopefully until Lapis stopped giving her the silent treatment, at least. This entire debacle was frustrating and felt childish to her, but the only thing she could do that would get the human to talk to her (that she knew of) was figuring out all the factors and reporting them to her. She’d made attempts to make conversation, maybe notify her of her discussion with Yellow Diamond, but the stubborn human always faced the other way and continued socializing with her child instead of listening to her at all, let alone carrying on a serious talk. It was irritating, but she was stuck with it.

Peridot didn’t even notice that she wasn’t alone in the room until she heard somebody clear their throat behind her. With a startled half shriek, she turned quickly; her fear was not assuaged whatsoever when she realized the source of the sound was a tall angel staring at her with what she could only assume was a judgemental gaze behind dark shades. “I’m Garnet, one of the Quartz-Universes’ guardian angels. Looks like you’re having relationship issues,” the other immortal spoke simply in a thick British accent, leaning against a nearby wall with her arms crossed over her chest. She didn’t seem to be hostile, at least, but the demon didn’t know what to think.

“How did--”

“Pearl and Amethyst let me know.” The angel waved a hand dismissively. “They’ve been keeping a pretty close eye on you, even if they haven’t been entirely visible, since you made the deal with Pearl and Amethyst had to save the human from suicide.” She jerked her head back towards the door. “And I’ve been hanging out with Malachite. She says she hasn’t seen you and Lapis Lazuli go this long without doing ‘gross grown-up stuff’ since you started living with them. Want to talk about it?” The concerned tone of voice was confusing to the demon, but she was still fairly annoyed.

“There’s nothing to talk about. She’s being unreasonable,” Peridot responded, continuing her search through the folders. “She’s permitted herself to become unreasonably angry with me over me trying to protect her. I could understand her being temporarily upset about my hiding things from her, but it’s completely ridiculous for her to give me the silent treatment over it. I apologized and I got the files she wanted. The only reason I’m doing all this extra research is because I’m sorry, I care about her, and I want her to actually talk to me like a normal fucking person again.”

Garnet frowned and glanced away, facing to the side as she was quiet for a few moments, which mercifully allowed Peridot to continue searching through the files and occasionally tucking a piece of information away into her memory. When the angel finally spoke again, it startled her to the point she nearly dropped the manila folder in her hands. “Maybe it seems like she’s being unreasonable to you. But to her it might be just right. To make a relationship work, you’re going to need to learn to see both separate sides of an argument and try to see things in your partner’s point of view - even if they aren’t entirely willing to see yours.”

The demon was mildly surprised by the wisdom, and she supposed that if she applied it, then she could understand why Lapis was so upset. As the human had said earlier, if somebody were hiding in her house and she was refusing to share that information with her for a month or so, she would be  _ extremely _ upset and possibly unwilling to see any sort of reason. Instead of responding, she pouted and continued working - luckily for her, there were only a few files left to go through, which she could probably get through within an hour or two. Before her lover went to bed, certainly.

“I’m going to assume by your silence that you understand what I said.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“You’re welcome.”

* * *

 

Lapis was watching some documentary about sharks surrounding Alcatraz and the San Francisco Bay area when Peridot marched into the living room and dropped the pile of manila folders on the coffee table. The bluenette looked up at her with a sort of tired surprise as she crossed her arms over her chest, looked off to the side, and began to report on what she’d found.

“The factors that may lead to a hybrid pregnancy that I found include but are not limited to young human making them less resistant, high levels of emotional distress for the human also making them less resistant, changing weather and/or proximity to Halloween making demon biology more active, high levels of alcohol in one or both parents, emotional attachment making the demon biology more accepting of the human’s, et cetera. Even with all factors in place it is roughly a one in one thousand chance that a hybrid will be conceived completely on accident; most hybrids born are the result of human women looking to gain favor in the afterlife by making deals with demons agreeing to carry and birth their child. These rituals have become completely illegal for lesser demons and very frowned upon for the higher classes. Your conceiving Malachite was something of a very strange miracle, and the odds of us having offspring are very low.” She crossed her arms and looked away. “And a certain very stupid demon would like to apologize again for not letting her human know about the other immortal in the house. She knows that Lapis Lazuli feels betrayed, and she loves her a lot and promises to let her know of everything that happens in the future.”

Silence followed momentarily, and the demon looked away, face burning teal. She was worried for a moment that she might have said something wrong and the human might still be upset with her, but these fears were quenched when she heard weight lift off the couch and felt long arms wrap around her, a warm and small body pressed against hers.

“I forgive you,” Lapis murmured softly, resting her head against the demon’s shoulder as Peridot allowed her own arms to wrap around Peridot’s waist. “I’m sorry for giving you the silent treatment, too; that was really childish of me and I should have just communicated with you about what was wrong. But next time I find out that you’ve been lying to me, I won’t be so quick to forgive.” She punctuated this statement with a soft peck - or a kiss that might have been intended to stay at that but evolved far out of either of their control into a passionate and heated contact that went on for probably too long.

“I forgive you too,” Peridot replied before initiating a second kiss, sweeping her lover quite literally off of her feet and giving her a mischievous grin. “But I can think of another way I can apologize. Since I was clearly in the wrong here.”

Lapis giggled and draped one arm over her forehead, tipping her head back. “Why, Peri, I’m  _ swoooooooooning _ .”

Before they even completely made their way to the human’s bedroom, all the drama of the last day or so had been temporarily forgotten in favor of more pleasurable things to focus on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they're doing the diddle off camera
> 
> here's a baby malachite that tumblr user marshmallowskittles drew! she's presh http://teamchaosprez.tumblr.com/post/146823182402/thelovelymisslazuli-marshmallowskittles-the
> 
> comments would be lovely!


	27. Remembrance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot remembers her past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you dont even WANT to know some of the shit i had to google to write this

Peridot Olivine was born on August 25th, eighteen years previously; only three months older than Lapis. She was a brilliantly intelligent girl from a young age, if extremely anxiety ridden and a massive perfectionist. She was teased relentlessly throughout her school life as a result of her height, her intelligence, her glasses, and her less than average physical prowess; she was miserable. It didn’t help that her mother, a strict businesswoman with a schedule to keep and little time for her daughter, put massive pressure on her to succeed, and her father was AWOL from the time she was maybe two. But she did her best with what life offered her, and wound up graduating from high school two years early as the Valedictorian in her class. It was college that got her running into trouble.

She was naive enough that emotionally manipulating her was easy as pie. A sorority wound up taking her under their wings towards the end of her freshman year, and essentially used her as an errand girl. Peer pressure had been a joke during high school, but the girls that took her in were ruthless in getting her to do drugs and drink, despite her not being willing to do those things under normal circumstances - and they disguised it by being sickeningly sweet, giving her smiles and assuring her that they were only building up her immunity so that she wouldn’t be eaten alive after college. Some part of her, the straight A valedictorian part, knew that she was being foolish and should just ditch the sorority at the first opportunity - and the angry part of her that watched her grades slip with each semester agreed. Peridot was slowly losing who she was - and going to her mother and new stepfather didn’t help any, all they did was threaten to pull her out of the college. She hadn’t turned eighteen  _ yet, _ after all, and she was still legally under the care of the woman that had raised her. So she sucked it up, promised them that she would quit, and carried on with her life.

One evening, the defacto leader of the sorority told Peridot that she was going to go deal some cocaine behind the campus. She told the youngest member that she was the only one that could be trusted, and that it would be like the last part of her initiation. Peridot had been planning on notifying her that she was leaving that night, but she went along with it instead, trailing behind the girl and trying to work up the nerve and figure out how to tell her that she couldn’t do the sorority anymore after being entrusted with something as fucking major as a drug run.

However, the entire operation went horribly wrong before she got the chance. The police showed up, following them a distance back and not leaving until the leader had yanked Peridot into a back alley and angrily accused her of alerting the fuzz to what they were doing. The younger girl had vehemently denied it, knowing that she hadn’t, but the leader didn’t listen to her and pulled out a gun, snapping that if she was willing to put the sorority in danger of being arrested then she wasn’t worthy of living on this miserable planet any longer.

Before Peridot had even thoroughly processed what was happening, she had a bullet lodged in her shoulder and blood ruining her favorite green flannel. She screamed, but nobody came; they were in an old warehouse district, the nearest event among the abandoned buildings being the rave they were supposed to deliver the cocaine to. In a panic, she took the nearest object - an old pipe lying against a building - and swung, effectively cracking the leader’s ribs, but she seemed more annoyed than anything else, shooting Peridot fatally in the stomach and watching with a strange sort of smugness as she collapsed to the ground, hands over her bleeding wound and pleading quietly for her to call nine-one-one. The leader scoffed, kicked her side, and left her for dead, saying that if she didn’t want to die then she should have remained a hundred percent loyal despite the fact that her assumptions were incorrect.

Peridot Olivine was dead by morning, and her spirit stayed with her body afterwards, not entirely aware of what to do or where to go. The sorority returned and found her - she made an attempt to grab the leader and throttle her, but was unable to grasp anything in the mortal world. The leader seemed regretful, but Peridot had learned the difference between her pretending and her honesty and knew better, watching with seething rage as she cried for a moment and then demanded that they take her corpse and hide it somewhere that the police would never find it. None of these lovely and respectable college girls wanted to get in trouble for  _ murder, _ after all.

Her corpse was hidden in the basement of one of the many abandoned houses where the sorority sometimes got drunk; near a graveyard due to some stupid comment a girl made about wanting to give her a proper burial. Her exact date of death was the twentieth of May, but her mother reported her missing on the twenty fifth after she failed to visit over the weekend; she knew this because she was stuck wandering the city as a ghost for a while, watching life continue on without her. The police never found her body that she knew of; why would they look in an old broken down house, after all?

She found the light after a week and a half, and was disappointed but not surprised to find herself in Hell. Manipulated or not, she had still done some pretty shady stuff while involved in the sorority. She was offered a job as a demon due to her intellectual prowess and how she had learned to be manipulative; the memories of her life as a human were wiped and forgotten, and she became nothing more than a pawn, a demon meant to follow orders and drive others to suicide.

Needless to say, suddenly popping awake after dreaming her entire background was… disconcerting, to say the least. She wheezed in a breath of air, more than a little startled, and took a moment to recognize her surroundings; it was sometime in the night, she was naked in bed, Lapis’ warm petite body was curled up next to her and it was snowing out the window. The room was silent with the exception of some wind from outside, the human’s breathing, and the ticking of the clock above the closet. It was surprisingly calm for mere moments after something so momentous had just happened - and on  _ accident, _ too. God, it was like her soul was yelling at her to hurry up.

Finding herself unable to fall back asleep, Peridot shifted so that she was out of bed and stretched with a slight groan and a small frown on her face. Pulling her jumpsuit on, she glanced back at the sleeping Lapis, watching her shift slightly and hug a pillow instead of her - a small smile appearing on her face, the demon gave her a small kiss on the forehead before crossing her arms over her chest and leaving the room. She needed to go for a walk. She wasn’t sure where to, just that she needed to leave the house and walk around until perhaps sunrise.

The cold hit her like a slap to the face and she grimaced, wishing that she had warmer clothes or at least had the sense to borrow a jacket from the coatrack. It wasn’t as if she could get sick from the temperature, but she disliked it, and it was more than a little bothersome. Her head ducked and eyes trained at the ground, Peridot made herself invisible to most humans as she walked down the street, watching as the snowflakes drifted to the ground and stuck there, creating a fine white powder on the cement. Now that she was aware of what it had been like to be a human, she remembered that around this time she would have been getting ready to go home for Christmas. She wondered if her mother and stepfather missed her - she hadn’t seen any missing persons posters or news reports since entering the human realm, and she felt almost insulted that they had given up after a few months.

By the time Peridot glanced up, she found herself in front of a tall house in the outskirts of town, wood a faded white and many windows breaking. The wind beating the structure caused it to make creaking and whistling sounds, and there was a big hole in the deteriorating porch. With a heavy gulp, she realized that she was at the house where her body was; when she came back to life, this was probably where she would be found. She remembered hanging out in this house, laughing with the other girls and drinking herself silly and playing stupid games that probably could have gotten one or all of them killed in hindsight. She could almost hear the ghost of laughter drifting from the interior; in reality, all that could be heard was the sound of silence and the noises of an old house.

She was only vaguely aware of her feet taking her to the front door of the building, carefully stepping around the hole as if it were muscle memory and giving the door a shove, easily bypassing the broken lock and causing a sliver of moonlight to enter the broken down front room. Broken bottles scattered the floor; some of them even seemed fresh, so this was apparently still being used as a party house for a bunch of college girls. She was…  _ angered _ by the disrespect. Couldn’t they at least have the audacity to leave the abandoned building alone, find some other place to drink and make bad choices since there was a fucking  _ dead body _ in the basement?

Something she found curious was that the dead body scent wasn’t present anywhere inside the house; on the first floor, at least. Sick curiosity was what motivated her to move towards the door that led to the basement, down a long hallway, the last one on the right; she wasn’t entirely sure how she remembered it, but she supposed she wasn’t complaining about it. The smell of rotting flesh became notable and more apparent the closer she got. Forcing the jammed door open, she immediately covered her nose with one hand, overwhelmed by the smell; she gagged, but willed herself not to vomit, journeying down the dark staircase and using her free hand to create an orb of light that illuminated the surrounding five feet or so, allowing her to see despite the windowless darkness.

She’d expected to be panicked by the state of her corpse, but she was honestly just… numb.

She was still wearing her torn and bloodstained flannel and cheap jeans, glasses placed in front of her by one of the kinder girls. She was decomposing, hence the smell, her face buried in her hands - which was probably a good thing - and shaggy blonde hair pretty much how she’d left it. It felt… odd, to see her own body in such a state, and she wondered how she would possibly be able to return to it. She supposed that as long as she wasn’t a zombie, it didn’t matter.

The sound of laughter and footsteps on the porch and entering the house was what caught her off guard and snapped her out of her thoughts. She recognized some of the voices almost immediately, and a surge of rage settled itself into her chest; not only was she a demon and therefore commonly had similar feelings, but her murderer and the linked group of friends was entering her general area. The only thing preventing her from going on a murderous rampage was the knowledge that she wanted to be  _ better _ than them - she didn’t want to stoop to their level, get petty revenge.

So she floated up the stairs to exit instead, pausing for just a moment to knock over a large bookshelf near where the girls were and causing their laughter and chattering to die out as they were startled and looked in the direction of the fallen piece of furniture. Let them think it was haunted. Let this place be ruined for them.

That was the only vengeance she’d be willing to let herself have, after all. At least until she possessed the ability to walk up to them like nothing had happened.

The plan to do that was just enough to make her smirk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments welcome <3


	28. Late Night Communication

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis and Peridot have a conversation regarding the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY I MANAGED TO GET THIS DONE TODAY

Lapis was surprised when she awoke in the middle of the night and found herself alone; in fact, she was almost… insulted. What was so important that Peridot had to leave at four in the morning? With a heavy sigh, she turned over onto her side and watched the snow peacefully falling out the window; the night was quiet, and she found that she  _ did _ trust Peridot to be honest with her about what was going on when she came back. She hoped so, honestly; she’d been angry long enough about hidden information in the last week or so to last her the rest of her life.

Unable to fall back asleep, the human rolled so that she was off her bed, feet carrying her across the house and down to the kitchen. She poured herself a glass of water before pulling herself up to sit on the counter, facing the tall window that showed a pretty nice view of the last little stretch of Beach City. The snow was falling thickly, but slowly, large flakes drifting to the ground in a calm manner. An odd feeling of tranquility, often new to her, settled over Lapis, and she was able to take a deep breath as she leaned backwards with a small smile on her face and watched the snow.

There were a few houses behind her own, and they were all decorated and lit up by bright greens and reds and whites thanks to the gorgeous lights strung up around the edges of their roofs. That was reassuring, something that was stable; every winter, no matter what, the lights and decorations came up. Something she would never lose and something that would be a constant every year for the rest of her life. With everything else being absolutely insane, she figured that was something to hold onto.

It didn’t take much sitting alone for her to hear the front door open and footsteps approaching the stairs - Peridot had returned home. The human kind of hoped that she could notice her sitting in the kitchen, but since the counter wasn’t exactly visible from the staircase she supposed she wouldn’t be insulted if not. Unable to force herself to get up, Lapis simply remained seated where she was, sipping her water and watching out the window as she listened to the demon make her way upstairs. She would come looking for her when she noticed that the younger being wasn’t in bed, anyway. 

The bluenette couldn’t help but wonder how she had gotten to this point, from a tired and overworked college student and teen mom to having a love affair with the demon sent to haunt her and facing the very real possibility of getting her entire life ruined because her daughter just happened to be a hybrid. She still didn’t understand that; Malachite had never hurt anybody unless one counted getting into little slapping fights with the other kids on the occasion she had to go to daycare. She was just a toddler. Why did some immortal forces she shared a species with want to kill her?

Lapis’ heart lurched at the thought of any harm coming to her baby and taking her away. Her free arm wrapped around her stomach, and she focused instead on the ice floating in her glass, trying to distract herself from the dread of whatever could happen in the near future. Nothing was going to happen; Peridot was there working on their side, and apparently Jasper as well. Despite her paranoia, she was able to convince herself that she had some time before shit hit the fan, and that when it  _ did _ things would work out in her favor.

Hearing footsteps come back down the stairs, she glanced up and watched as Peridot entered the kitchen and pulled herself up to the counter next to her. A brief smile was shared between them before Lapis’ attention was diverted back to the peace of outside. She barely noticed her hand drifting a little closer to the demon’s until it was being held, and she was surprised enough that she blinked and glanced over; Peridot seemed to be looking in the same direction, and her heart skipped a beat a little at the tired but calm expression on the demon’s face in the dim lighting.

Lovesick. That was the only word that could accurately describe how she was feeling at the moment. The immortal was adorable, lovable, smart - Lapis didn’t feel like she deserved her, and she was a little grateful that she was here and willing to be in a relationship. With a small smile, the human leaned forward to brush her lips over Peridot’s cheek in a small kiss, effectively making the demon blush and glance at her in confusion. “Sorry, you’re just too cute to not kiss,” the human shrugged with a small, smug grin, snickering a bit when the immortal glanced away in embarrassment. She was more easily flustered than one would expect from a being of darkness.

Silence passed between them for a while as the human and her demon sat on the kitchen counter at four o’clock in the morning, watching as the snowfall slowed and eventually stopped completely. Peridot seemed like she wanted to talk about something, judging by how she often took a breath like she was about to speak, but Lapis didn’t pressure her into hurrying up and getting it out; it must have been hard if she was hesitating this much.

“I remembered how I died today. That’s why I left. I took a walk down to… see if my body was still there. And it is,” the green immortal spoke with a deep sigh, squeezing the human’s hand slightly. “I haven’t been dead long. Just since May. I was murdered by… someone I thought was a friend, because she thought I called the cops on her drug run. I didn’t. I’ve been reported missing, nobody’s found me yet. I’ve been left to rot in an old abandoned house. They still - um, the group I was in still parties there. It’s like I never really mattered to anybody when I was alive. There sure wasn’t much of a reaction to my disappearance and death.” Her tone was worryingly apathetic, with the exception of a few cracks.

Lapis frowned, gently shifting so she could wrap her arms around the demon and resting her head on her shoulder. The demon was trembling a bit; she was more affected than she was letting on, apparently, and it worried her that she was hiding her emotions. “You definitely mattered to  _ someone, _ Peri. Life is busy, and it needs to go on… I bet if I were to die, someone would be torn up but need to move on and keep moving. And right now, you matter to  _ me, _ and when you’re mortal again, if you were to just vanish, I-I’d never be able to live with it.” A heavy sigh as she gently squeezed her lover, placing another kiss against her cheek. “I love you, you know. I don’t know how much you’re going to want to face after you’ve come back to life, but I’ll be right here with you the whole way. We could even find a way to buy that house if you want to. We can get jobs and help from my mother and fix it up.”

Peridot snorted, but the smile on her face told Lapis that she had done a decent job at trying to cheer her up a little. “You’re assuming we’d be able to get the smell out of the basement,” she spoke in a tone a little closer to her usual voice. “But yeah, I’d be all for it. The best kind of irony. It  _ is _ a really nice house, too, it was built in the 1890’s and it was a farmhouse before one owner sold the farmland to let more houses develop. There are rumors that it’s haunted, but I’ve never seen anything.”

“You sure know a lot about it,” the human responded, fondness bubbling up in her chest for the other being - she didn’t put it past the demon to do research about a place where she hung out or the town’s history. “But yeah, I’m pretty sure there are ways to remove the scent of rotting flesh. We just need to Google it, and somehow figure out a way to convince the FBI agents looking at our IP history that we’re actually concerned homeowners and not murderers.”

“Maybe we  _ are _ murderers and we just don’t know it yet.” Peridot stuck out her tongue before glancing back towards the window, and Lapis couldn’t stop herself from watching her expression carefully. She loved watching her face as the demon worked things out in her head; the look often changed as she thought her way towards a conclusion. “But buying the house  _ might _ be a good idea. My mother is wealthy too and I have the whole ‘you didn’t look for me’ thing to use for guilt trips, so she’d be willing to put a little bit towards it. I used to do freelance coding for game developers, so my resume is decent enough that I might be able to get a job. The house is in rough shape, so we’d probably have to stick around here while renovations get finished - we’d have to save up  _ a lot _ of money.”

“I have a bunch in the bank that I saved up for during high school. It was supposed to be my college fund, but it’s not even enough to last me through every semester until I get my degree, so we could always use that.” Peridot seemed like she was about to say something in response, and Lapis quickly put her index finger over her lips to keep her from interrupting. “And before you say anything about how I shouldn’t do that, it’s my money that I earned spending three miserable years being a barista at Starbucks. I was good enough at my job that they’ll probably be willing to take me back, anyway, and I’m tired of mooching off my mom, so getting myself and my kid out of the house is probably my first and foremost priority right now. Going with you is just an amazing bonus.”

“You know, getting a smaller place like an apartment or something is always an option.”

“I know, and that can be our backup plan.” The human grinned, then yawned - she’d spent almost an hour out of bed, and it was starting to catch up with her. Malachite would be waking up in just a few hours, and she wanted to catch up enough on her sleep to survive it; of course, that brought to mind the guilt about not having much time with her daughter, but she’d try to find shifts that would carry her through when the hybrid was either asleep or out being babysat or learning. She was already dreading all the sleep that she’d be losing. “For now, though, I think we should go back to bed. We can finish talking about all this adult shit after the sun comes up.”

Peridot rolled her eyes, but hopped down from the counter and offered a hand to Lapis - she took it without hesitation, gently squeezing her lover’s hand as she jumped down to join her. “Yeah, yeah, alright, but we’re going to come up with a better plan than just spending all of your college money on a broken down old house that might be more trouble than it’s worth. And we’re going to do it  _ long _ before we start working on moving out.”

“Okay, whatever you say, nerd,” the surfer sighed with false annoyance before gently tugging her lover up the stairs and towards her bedroom. “How  _ are _ you going to end up becoming human again, anyway? Isn’t that kind of, I dunno, impossible, since your actual body is deteriorating in some old house that hasn’t been fixed up in decades?”

“Lapis Lazuli, master of insensitivity,” Peridot shook her head, but still gave her a small smile. “Just leave that to me, okay? I’ll give you directions to the house so you can find me.”

“I don’t know how much I trust that, but okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments appreciated xo


	29. Second Chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot is sent to her mortal body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this fic is almost done, only two more chapters, i've been writing this for 11 months, almost a year, i'm gonna cry when i finish it

There were a hundred, no, a  _ million _ things that Peridot would have rather been doing than walking down the long corridor to her boss’ office. She didn’t want to have a long conversation with Yellow Diamond about why she thought the deaths of Lapis and Malachite Lazuli were unnecessary and why she wanted to return to humanity. She didn’t want to sit uncomfortably on the opposite side of the desk and watch the higher demon observe her condescendingly and probably explain why her wish was childish and couldn’t be carried through with. Or call the demand to destroy her. Yeah, that was probably the worst possible outcome, if for no other reason than for the pain Lapis would go through when she never came back. It would probably look like she’d abandoned her.

The door to Yellow Diamond’s office seemed far taller, darker, and more intimidating than the last she’d seen it. She gulped; she would’ve liked to just run far away and do everything herself, but no research she’d done helped her in knowing  _ how _ she was supposed to become human again, and no amount of running would save her little family from the next demon that would be sent after Lapis, she was sure. She needed to get her boss’ powers on her side in order to become mortal once more, and she needed to make sure that she could keep her family safe. She couldn’t fight any higher or older demon  _ now, _ let alone as a pitiful mortal without any special abilities aside from a high IQ.

Her hand was shaking as she reached up to knock, and she wished that she could keep it still. It took several agonizing beats for an uncaring and cold voice to declare that she was permitted entry, and even then Peridot hesitated, trying desperately to think of a better option that wouldn’t end in at least one conclusion where she could get hurt.

Eventually, however, she did steel herself and open the door to enter the room. She faced the tall figure of Yellow Diamond with her head held high, hopefully showing more confidence than she actually felt; her boss watched her with a scrutinizing and condescending gaze, and Peridot wanted more than anything to sink into the floor and to whatever was lower than Hell. Still, she remained, hoping and praying that all would go well and she would be waking up in her human body in a few hours.

“My Diamond,” she spoke, more shakily than she would have liked and quickly saluting with her hands crossed over her chest in the shape of a diamond. “I am here because I would like to request becoming human again. I feel I have been doing an unsatisfactory job as a demon and returning to my human form may make me more jaded and bitter so that I may do better next time.” The lie was one she had been formulating carefully in her head on the way down, and hopefully would be well received. If all went according to plan, she wanted to make it to Heaven next time around, but she couldn’t let her boss know that if she had any wish to become human.

The higher demon stared at her with a scrutinizing gaze that made her squirm for several moments before slowly rising to her feet. She towered over Peridot standing up, and if her goal was to intimidate the lesser demon, it was certainly accomplished; but said employee stood her ground, wanting her message to be heard and wanting to be taken seriously. She wasn’t about to be turned away from becoming human; not when she was this close to having a good future and a second chance.

“Does this have something to do with the assignment I gave you? It wouldn’t be all that hard to admit that it’s out of your comfort zone and ask for a replacement assignment, Peridot. You have a lot of potential and you’re just wasting your time with this particular case.” The elder demon frowned down at her, hands behind her back but her superior height and stature making it genuinely difficult to not still be completely terrified. For a solid thirty seconds, the younger was convinced she was going to die.

“K-kind of. I was actually leading up to something about that, my Diamond,” Peridot gulped down her fear to reply, trying to make herself feel stronger and taller than she actually was by holding her head high. “I don’t think it is necessary to cause the deaths of Lapis and Malachite, ma’am. Neither of them has done anything particularly harmful. In fact, I think it might be useful to, um, let a hybrid or two live to maturity so that they can be studied and information can be gathered from them?”

Yellow Diamond stared her down in silence for a few moments, and Peridot could feel her anxiety rising to its boiling point with every moment she went without a confirmation. She was already making a mental list of things she hoped would happen after her destruction - please let Jasper protect Lapis and Malachite, please let Lapis be able to survive whoever the next demon thrown at her was, please let everything turn out okay for Lapis and Malachite in general. She was so certain that she was about to be destroyed that she had even come up with a mental list of things she wished she could have said before she left, something longer and more put together than a simple “I’m going, check in the abandoned house for me in a few hours, here are the directions.”

She squeezed her eyes shut, ready to be obliterated or sent falling through the floor - so, needless to say, she was more than a little surprised when she heard a simple response of “all right” from her boss. Shoulders tensed, the lesser demon looked up at her leader and stared with an expression that must have been comical given how shocked she was. “I will allow you to turn back to human form, if - and only if - you study the hybrid Malachite Lazuli and send reports back with Jasper on her development and behaviors whenever I ask for them.”

Peridot had to hesitate a little while before nodding eagerly. “Yes, my Diamond, I can definitely do that!” she declared, and it didn’t even cross her mind that it was odd that the older demon knew that she intended to stay near the Lazuli family. Did she have access to the lives of all her workers, but never mentioned anything about it? She didn’t know, and at the moment she was too thrilled to care.

Yellow Diamond rose from her desk and walked out of the room, and Peridot followed behind her with stars in her eyes. She was led down the long hallway and into a rather large room filled with books and with a long cylinder in the center - it reminded her of something she might have seen in a science fiction or fantasy movie, and it fascinated her. She wanted to open all the books and investigate what the cylinder was for - but she didn’t have that sort of time, so she settled for simply asking.

“How does this work? My body is mostly decayed at the moment and I don’t think it would go too well if I were to wake up as a zombie.” Nodded along by her boss, Peridot walked over to the cylinder and stood on the metal stand - she was looking forward to becoming human again, and every moment that passed made her more curious and eager. “Am I going to be, like, a hundred percent healed and back to normal when I wake up? Will I be in the spot my body is? Will I just die immediately because the gunshot wounds were in fatal places and I might bleed out?”

“This machine teleports your soul - you, essentially - back to your body, but that only comes after I revitalize it and turn it back to when it wasn’t decaying. Your wounds will still be in place, but there will be a period of about fifteen minutes in which they aren’t bleeding - if you don’t get to a hospital almost immediately, odds are you’ll die again.” Yellow Diamond rested her hand against a screen against one of the walls as she spoke, and Peridot watched with bated curiosity as it glowed with a hard yellow light. “And if you don’t follow the requirements I gave to you, I  _ will _ send a demon to destroy you directly, no haunting required. Make sure that doesn’t happen.”

Well, that certainly didn’t put any pressure on her decision at all. Peridot was glad that she’d told Lapis where she could be found, but part of her was nervous that she would be too late - with a deep breath, she told herself to have a little faith in her lover, closed her eyes, and waited for everything to take effect. She hoped it would just be like falling asleep and waking up again.

She wasn’t, in any way shape or form, prepared for the suddenness of being ripped from the demon dimension of Hell and back into the human end of things. It didn’t put her into agony, per se, but it felt like she was being very strongly tugged by the hair and thrown into a different room; just enough to hurt but not enough to make it excruciating. Peridot was dizzy when she realized that she was in the basement, floating a couple of inches off the air as she had been when she first died. Brushing a hand against her head told her that her horns were gone, and glancing at her skin was enough to realize that she was back to a human skin tone, albeit translucent.

Of course, that brought her attention to her human body. As promised, she had been returned to a state where she wasn’t in decay, and she seemed to be sleeping peacefully with soft breaths making her shoulders rise and fall and blood on her ripped flannel at her stomach and shoulder seeming to be as old as last she’d seen it. She hesitated a few moments, wondering if procrastinating would give Lapis more time to get to her before the bleeding started, and maybe then she wouldn’t have to worry about not getting to the hospital in time.

Of course, the moment she noticed some fresh blood joining the long dried and browned stuff she immediately ditched that train of thought and zipped back into her body, regaining control of her muscles with a gasp. The first thing she noticed was that it felt weird to go back to having working organs aside from just a train of thought; the feeling of her heart thudding quickly startled her at first, raising her blood rate. She struggled to relax almost as soon as she became frightened, knowing that if blood was pumping quicker through her body she would lose it faster as well.

It took her several moments to get back to a manageable heart rate, and when she did she realized that it was  _ cold _ in the basement, and looking to the side she could see snow drifting to the ground outside. Good, she hadn’t been teleported back to seven months earlier; it was still December, and Lapis would know to come and find her.

Unless she forgot, but Peridot doubted that would happen. She was important. Right?

Of course, as soon as everything else was out of the way and kicked to the side of her mind, she realized that she was in  _ pain. _ Extreme, uncontrollable pain sourcing from the holes ripped into her skin by the bullets still resting inside of her. The blonde groaned and rested her head back on the table, trying to focus on the fact that soon she would be in the hospital and be treated and maybe some of the pain would go away. That everything would be okay and she had her life ahead of her, her second chance successfully received.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh yeah that's right i have the sequel coming out after ;)
> 
> comments wld be appreciated baes x


	30. Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis finds Peridot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it took me longer to figure out a title for this chapter than to actually write it

Lapis did not have a driver’s license, and it was probably a bad idea to steal her mother’s car and drive off in the middle of the night completely alone. She would probably get arrested if somebody were to see her, considering she was  _ not _ all that good at controlling the vehicle, but she was desperate to get to the house where she knew her lover would be and get her to the hospital or the police station as soon as humanly possible. She didn’t know what would happen if she didn’t - she didn’t even want to think about it. She was so close to having Peridot be fully human and there for her, there to have a second chance and live life the way she  _ wanted, _ and the young woman would be damned if she let that slip away from her girlfriend because she was too late to get to the house.

The farmhouse was exactly where Peridot had described it would be and exactly how she had warned her it might look. It was a crumbling structure with a sort of aged beauty to it, the white paint chipping from the wood of the exterior and multiple holes visible where it had weathered away, been shot through, or whatever else might have happened here. It crossed Lapis’ mind as she exited the car that, once fixed up, it had the potential to be a really pretty house - but it would also be insanely expensive. She shook her head with a heavy sigh, annoyed with herself for focusing on that, and began moving forward towards the building, hoping and praying that either the resurrection hadn’t happened yet or had just happened a few minutes ago. She wished her girlfriend had woken her up so that she could sit around and wait for something - but she supposed that sitting around in a basement with a corpse would be unpleasant at best, and was actually a little glad that hadn’t happened.

The door wasn’t all that difficult to get through; somebody had broken the lock, probably ages ago, and it swung open with ease. The foyer was dark and unwelcoming, largely due to the small slivers of light that leaked through the boarded windows due to the full moon and the ominous creaks that followed her with every step. She shuddered; it was a fixer upper for sure, and that was putting it gently, though maybe she was a bit biased because she knew what awaited her in the basement.

She wished Peridot had told her which door led to the stairs that would take her down, because her nerves urged her to make a run for it for every door she opened. It wasn’t until the end of the hallway that she finally found a flight of stairs leading downward into darkness that was almost too thick for her to handle; she couldn’t even see what was at the bottom. One of the first intelligent thoughts that crossed through her mind was that if there was a corpse downstairs, then there should probably be the smell that went along with it; she ignored it for now in favor of turning on her cell phone, the flashlight app pulled up without much hesitation and the light shone down the stairs.

Lapis gnawed on her lower lip as she descended into the basement, twisting quickly with every little noise that greeted her and anxiety pounding in the back of her mind. She wasn’t entirely sure why she was so paranoid at the moment; maybe she was unconsciously afraid that she had been tricked and would be murdered. As soon as she reached the bottom of the stairs, though, she spotted a head of blonde hair and bloody flannel under a stream of moonlight; she immediately ditched any thoughts that she might have been followed and immediately closed out of the flashlight, sprinting over to what she knew was her girlfriend’s body and gently taking her hand.

It was warm. She was warm, and Lapis could tell that she was breathing. Peridot was alive again; the relief that washed over her was unmatched as she quickly dialed 9-1-1 on her phone and held the device to her ear. Silently, she begged for them to hurry up and pick up the damned phone; this was an emergency hotline, shouldn’t they be a little quicker?

“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?” a nasally female voice on the other end asked, sounding almost bored. Peridot stirred, apparently roused by the noise, and Lapis gently squeezed her hand. She hoped that she hadn’t been too late; the girl was almost unconscious, and apparently had lost a lot of blood before she got there. She wanted to cry almost as much as she wanted to help, but for the sake of remaining calm and getting help on the way, she held it in.

“Hello, I’ve just found a girl who’s been shot in the basement of an old abandoned house. It looks like the bullet wounds are in her stomach and in her shoulder. Can you please send an ambulance? I can drive her halfway there, but she needs medical attention as quickly as possible.” A moment’s hesitation as she glanced over at her girlfriend, taking a deep breath - the more time passed, the more she felt useless and helpless, and she hated that. “I think it’s that girl that went missing earlier this year - Peridot Olivine, or something like that? She’s lost a lot of blood and she’s still bleeding, please help.”

“Don’t drive her anywhere, you might jostle her injuries. I’m sending you an ambulance right now. Could you please give me the address to your current location?” the woman responded, and Lapis could hear the keys of a keyboard clicking away on the other end. 

“Okay, um, I’m at 3469 Birch - you know, the old abandoned farmhouse? I’m in the basement, that’s the last door on the right side of the hallway. Please hurry. Um, is there any way I can help just from here?” she spoke in a rush, shifting her phone so that she could hold it with her shoulder and run her freed hand through Peridot’s hair, gently tapping her scalp with her fingernails in an attempt to annoy her enough to keep her conscious.

“Just reassure her that everything is going to be fine and that help is on the way, and make sure that she stays conscious. I’ve sent some paramedics and an ambulance to your location. They should be there in just a few minutes. You can hang up whenever you’re ready, ma’am.”

“Okay, thank you, goodbye,” Lapis breathed out, relieved, before hanging up her phone and putting it back in her pocket. She then proceeded to gently nudge Peridot’s shoulder until the other girl woke up with a groan, shifting to lean on her - the Hawaiian flinched slightly at the blood leaking onto her t-shirt, but ignored it in favor of gently holding her girlfriend. “Hey, Dot, everything’s gonna be alright. You’re gonna be okay. There’s an ambulance on the way right now so you better stay awake.” She gently squeezed then, flinching when her girlfriend made a pained noise.

“Everything’s gonna be just fine.”

* * *

 

Lapis slept in the waiting room of the hospital that night after sending a text to her mother, curled up in one of the armchairs and getting weird looks from the receptionist. It was difficult to accomplish any sort of shuteye, but she managed to get maybe an hour or two - not nearly enough to last her a day but enough to keep her awake at least through visiting hours. She was dead set on staying with Peridot every step of the way for the rest of their mortal lives, helping her girlfriend make better choices this time around and live a better life.

She hadn’t, however, accounted for the tearful ‘thank you’s and hugs that she would get from Mrs. Olivine, a tall and overbearing blonde woman who looked like someone straight out of a PTA meeting whose loud speech and clear fakeness made Lapis glad for her own mother’s quiet disposition and distantness; suddenly it made sense why Peridot had let the freedom of college go to her head and made some bad choices. The young woman spent the better part of the beginning of visiting hours being smothered by her girlfriend’s mother, giving fake smiles and being thanked over and over and over, and wondering why if Mrs. Olivine was so relieved her daughter was okay, why was she spending more time thanking her rescuer than going in and visiting her?

Lapis had no clue how she was going to survive having this woman as an in law, but the first chance she got - while Mrs. Olivine was filling out paperwork at the front desk - she immediately got permission from a nurse and hurried down the hallway, ducking into the room belonging to her girlfriend and freezing slightly upon seeing the younger girl so weak and small looking. She was used to an overbearing green demon, and Peridot looked so quiet and weak and pale after having been shot twice and losing a lot of blood. Lapis didn’t like it. She wanted to make her feel better.

“Hey,” she spoke softly, walking over to the bed and gently taking her girlfriend’s hand in one of her own. Peridot glanced over at her, and she managed a small smile. “How are you feeling?”

“Like shit, actually, getting shot will do that to you.” the older girl responded dryly with a small grin, and Lapis couldn’t help but laugh a little. “I’m really happy to see you, though, even if I am tired and feeling kind of pathetic with all the nurses hovering over me making sure I’m okay.”

“I’m happy to see you too. I wish you’d woken me up and taken me to the house before you left, though, because you lost a lot of blood and I was really scared you weren’t going to make it and I’d never see you again because you’d just go right back to the afterlife and probably not get assigned to me again. I should stop ranting though, you’re the one who almost died a second time.” Lapis sighed heavily and leaned forward to give her girlfriend a gentle kiss on the cheek. “I’m glad you’re going to be okay. I love you so much, you know that?”

Peridot blushed, and the slightly younger girl couldn’t help but gently brush her fingers over the ruddy coloring. She was so used to her skin being green and her blush being blue; it was nice so see her in actual human tones. That meant that they could be together. That meant that Peridot could make her own choices in life and not fear being punished for it. “I love you too,” the blonde murmured in a tone that was almost inaudible, probably due to embarrassment or being flustered.

The bluenette snorted and laughed a little before sitting in silence for a few moments, just carefully studying her girlfriend’s face. She still looked pretty much exactly the same, but less demon like… and probably a lot shorter, though she’d need to pull her to her feet to make sure, and that probably wasn’t the best thing to do at the moment. “Your mom’s here, by the way. Is she  _ always _ that loud and overwhelming to be around? I swear I’m going to smell like her perfume for three weeks.”

The blonde snorted, but nodded. “Yeah, pretty much. It’s going to be weird seeing her again, though. I’m a little bitter because she never helped me out as much as I was hoping, but I… miss her, you know? She’s my  _ mom. _ She raised me pretty much completely on her own unless you count the boyfriends who wandered in and out all the time.” Peridot sighed slightly before gently taking one of Lapis’ hands and squeezing it. “Ugh, what I want to know is how we’re going to go about re-initiating our relationship. As far as our moms know, we just met.”

“We can say that we were friends in high school and just pretend that this brought us together?” Lapis suggested with a shrug. “I mean, it’s not like anybody would believe us if we were to tell the truth, and suddenly starting a romantic relationship and moving in with someone you just met might seem a bit overboard, even if that someone did save your life. I’m betting we went to the same high school since there’s only one in Beach City, you were just two years ahead of me because you’re smart.”

“That’ll work,” Peridot responded, smiling slightly.

They barely had a moment longer to themselves before the doorknob turned - both girls jumped slightly, but quickly calmed when Mrs. Olivine entered the room. Peridot was being smothered by a hug that was probably too strong for her wounds within moments, and Lapis had to put a hand over her mouth to keep herself from laughing at the display. “I’ll, uh, let you have some time alone,” she muttered before ducking out of the hospital room and walking back down the long hallway.

She needed to talk to her mother about getting that house, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments would be appreciated! shoot there's only one chapter left after this until i can start the sequel.


	31. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis and Peridot get their farmhouse, and things seem to be falling into place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HOPE THIS CHAPTER IS GOOD ENOUGH TO END THIS THING HOLY SHIT THIS HAS BEEN UNDER CONSTRUCTION FOR ALMOST A YEAR

“Jesus, Mom, you didn’t have to pay for  _ all _ of it.”

“I didn’t, I only paid for half of it,” Blue Diamond rolled her eyes at her daughter, waving a hand dismissively. “Peridot’s mother paid the other half. And you do still need to pay us both back two thousand dollars every year once you’ve both gotten well paying jobs. You two want to be independent and responsible and take care of a small child, and I have enough money to support that from my business. Now stop acting like you need to deny it; the renovations should all be done within a couple of months and then you’ll be able to move in immediately. You still need to get any furniture that’s not from your bedrooms by yourselves, though.”

Lapis sighed heavily, but she  _ was _ grateful and there was really no point in arguing with her mother, so she nodded. The house itself had been fairly inexpensive because the city was desperate to get rid of it, and Peridot and Lapis had been able to pay for it without dipping much into their college funds, but the many repairs that needed to be made to the place were the really expensive parts. Between repairing the walls and replacing some dangerous flooring, tens of thousands of dollars needed to be spent just to make it livable again, and the young women were honestly surprised by how little begging they had needed to get it all paid for.

Plumbing, electricity, and heating would be installed by late January, and by then they would be able to move in. They would probably have to use boxes and keep things on the floor for a while, but for the moment it seemed good enough - there was even some very worn down furniture in the house itself, like an armoire or two, a fridge and stove that just needed to be cleaned off, a few bookshelves. Lapis was determined that she could turn that farmhouse into a home.

* * *

 

Most of the repairs were done by the middle of January, which was mercifully quickly in Lapis’ eyes. She and Peridot met up shortly after the walls were repaired and the paint job on the front of the house was redone to look over some wallpaper options. They sat on the second floor in what would be the master bedroom; the winter sunlight came in through the window to light up the room very nicely, and Lapis was pleasantly surprised by how much the place had improved in such a short amount of time. It was weird for her to think that just a month earlier this had been a terrifying abandoned place resting on the outskirts of town that children were dared to enter and apparently sororities used for a party space when their house became too much for them. Now it was a perfectly nice house, albeit an old and kind of creaky one, that would be livable the moment the heating and plumbing were reinstalled.

Unfortunately, as it stood they had to wear heavy winter coats as they went over what they wanted the interior of the house to have. They were in agreement that all of the repairs were altogether too much money, and even though their mothers had told them to just go all out with it, neither of them really wanted to take advantage of the kindness and go overboard in making the inside of the house look nice. They weren’t even ordering curtains; they were just going to get some wallpaper, new tiling for the bathrooms, and carpeting in the bedrooms.

Both of them had been busy looking for jobs and, in Lapis’ case, working hard at schooling (Peridot had decided that she wouldn’t go back to college until Lapis was done and student loans were being paid off, mostly because she didn’t want to have to face the campus again anytime soon). They hardly got all that much time to spend together - they had spent a few weeks after Peridot was found practically inseparable to cement the idea that they were developing feelings for each other, but now that it was established and accepted that they were together they needed to actually be adults.

Lapis didn’t like it. She felt like she was getting boring - but, really, she was a mother and a homeowner now, so she needed to try and act responsible, and have a grown up conversation with her girlfriend about what fucking wallpaper and flooring they were going to put in their nice two floor, three bedroom and two bathroom Victorian era farmhouse. And also probably discuss a minimum budget and the wage they’d need to shoot for to be able to accomplish that. The young woman sighed heavily and muttered that the small text was starting to swim before her eyes, leaning back and massaging her temples with a slight groan. Her emotions had been haywire recently, and the exhaustion and annoyance she felt at the moment really only served to solidify that.

Now that she thought about it, actually, she hadn’t had a period since November, and her pregnancy with Malachite had started with mood swings. She shook that thought off as soon as it came to her, though, reminding herself that she would be nauseous if she was expecting. The thought was forgotten about almost as soon as it entered her mind, drifting out of her head to join the pretty names of half the wallpapers she’d looked at in the last hour.

Harsh banging on the door was what broke Lapis out of her thoughts, and she blinked slightly, looking up and giving Peridot a confused look. Most people didn’t seem to care much about this house, and even then those that did normally just referred to it as the neighborhood eyesore and left it at that. “I’ll get it,” the young woman declared simply, lightly poking her girlfriend on the nose and walking out of the room, making her way down the hallway and beginning to descend down the stairs. She noticed that most of the steps didn’t even creak - the repair guys had done a good job with those.

Upon pulling the door open, she was faced by a girl that looked only a couple of years older than her, tall and with white hair in the most ridiculous updo that Lapis had ever seen on a college student. “Hello, um, my sorority and I were actually planning on getting this house when you bought it,” the girl spoke in a tone that was very professional but kind of made the bluenette feel like she was being talked down to. “So, since you’ve fixed the place up and everything, I was wondering if you would be willing to sell it to me for double what you payed for it.”

“Sorry, but the amount we spent on this house is well more than twice as much as we bought it for. Repairs are kind of expensive, you know, and it’d be kind of stupid to sell without making a profit. If it was even for sale in the first place - and I think we’d have a real estate sign in the front yard if it was.” She drummed her fingers against the door, seriously contemplating just slamming it in this girl’s face. She wasn’t sure why, but she felt a burning hatred in her gut suggesting that she had done something seriously wrong.

“I understand, but really, this house is pretty important to us. You see, it belonged to my friend’s great grandmother way back in the forties, and it has a lot of family history to it.” The girl gave a bright smile, and Lapis could almost sense that she wasn’t telling the truth. Her tone was too happy, too faked, and there was no way in hell that what she was saying wasn’t a lie.

“Look, the house isn’t for sale, and it won’t be for a very, very long time. I wish I could sell it to you, but honestly, it means a lot to my girlfriend that we keep it and make it our own. Maybe you’ve heard of her - her name is Peridot Olivine, and she was shot and dragged into the basement of this building. You don’t want to take away something else from her, do you? She already lost seven months of her life.” It made Lapis sick that she was talking in such a manipulative tone, but really, there was no other way she could think of that she could get this girl to go away as soon as possible.

In fact, she seemed to pale at the mention of Peridot’s name, which Lapis thought was kind of strange. “Yeah, I understand, I was, uh, a friend of Peridot’s before she disappeared.”

Oh.

_ Oh. _

The girl kept talking, but all Lapis could hear was her own thoughts, repeating back what her girlfriend had told her about her death. She’d said that she had been murdered by someone she considered a friend and that the house was used for parties while it was abandoned. Anger bubbled in her blood as she realized that this was her girlfriend’s killer, and though if Peridot had never died and went to Hell they never would have met, Lapis couldn’t help but be angry.

“Look, the house isn’t for sale, and that’s final,” she snapped, barely resisting the urge to slam the door in the girl’s face. “I’m afraid I don’t believe you about the whole great grandmother thing, and my girlfriend has told me about how you shot her and left her for dead. I’m not going to call the police, but I think you’re better off leaving and sticking with your current place.”

“I did  _ not _ shoot her, alright? I don’t know what she told you, but whatever it was, it isn’t true.” The girl crossed her arms. “And even if I did, I wouldn’t have pulled a gun out at her if it wasn’t for good reason and I didn’t think she deserved to die. And I wouldn’t have been sloppy and left before she had the chance to kick the bucket, because really, that’s a stupid rookie mistake.”

“Shooting somebody in general is a stupid mistake. Get the fuck off of my property, or I just might change my mind and decide to get you arrested for manslaughter.”

She seemed a little surprised or even frightened by the tone and backed off with her hands up, giving a slight glare. “Alright, fine, but don’t be surprised if something happens one day while you’re at work or something. This house is not yours, regardless of whether you legally own it.”

If she was trying to intimidate Lapis, all she was really succeeding in doing was frustrating her. The bluenette watched the girl for a moment with a frown on her face before simply closing the door and walking back up the stairs, running a hand through her hair with a deep sigh. She’d lived through enough drama to last her a lifetime, in her opinion.

“Who was that?” Peridot asked as she walked into the room and flopped facefirst onto the wooden ground, flinching slightly when her nose was bumped against the hard surface. “I’m guessing it wasn’t somebody good, since you look upset. Want me to go outside, follow them, and kick their ass?”

“I don’t think you could kick anybody’s ass, nerd,” Lapis responded in a teasing tone, sticking her tongue out as she moved over to sit next to her. “But seriously, I’m sure you’d love to, but it doesn’t matter. We can deal with it later. It’s not like she tried to destroy our house or threatened our families’ lives or something like that. It was just some annoying chick that wants to buy the house and got mad when I said it’s not for sale.” She sighed and leaned against her girlfriend, giving a tired smile. “It’s not a big deal, I just got kind of mad because I’ve been working hard lately and I’m tired.”

“Well, maybe you deserve a break then,” Peridot spoke as she turned over, successfully pinning her down with a light simper. She wasn’t nearly as strong as she had been as an immortal, but her effort was appreciated, and Lapis let her win without much of a fight. A slightly heated kiss followed, and the bluenette could already feel her stress and problems melting away. “And I just happen to know of a very efficient and pleasant way to de-stress.”

“Careful seducing me, Dots, you might never get rid of me.”

“You seem to be implying that I would ever want to.”

A soft laugh was given before the slightly younger girl flipped their position so that she was on top, carefully pressing their lips back together and running her hands down Peridot’s body. She took great glee in the way she shivered against her hands and leaned into the touch and smirked into the kiss, pulling away in order to press another against her cheek. “Well, I hope we end up staying together for a very long time. Maybe forever, if that’s okay with you.”

Peridot smiled at her, a lazy sort of happiness with green eyes peeking out of messy blonde bangs, and Lapis’ heart did a flip in her chest. She leaned upward in order to catch the bluenette’s lips in another heated kiss, one that Lapis found herself melting into almost immediately, all too aware of the hands on her sides. “Forever sounds good to me,” Peridot murmured when she moved out of the kiss to breathe, and the slightly younger girl had to remind herself that she did, in fact, need to breathe when heat rushed to her face in the form of a blush.

She was in love. She was happy, she was in love, and everything was amazing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading this fic <333
> 
> SEQUEL: http://archiveofourown.org/works/7759738/chapters/17695081  
> PLAYLIST COMING SOON PROBABLY


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